Wildfire III  Fire's Promise
by EGrace
Summary: This story is the third in the Wildfire Trilogy.  It follows Fire's Rising and Fire's Price.


Title: Fire's Promise, Book III of The Wildfire Trilogy

Author: Elizabeth Grace

Dated: May 2007

Environ: X3: The Last Stand

Categories: English / 46,560 words / Adventure; Angst; Drama; Sci Fi

Rating: "M" This story is intended for mature audiences age 16 and over. It contains scenes of explicit sexuality and includes some mild language.

Disclaimer: _The Wildfire Trilogy_ is written by a fan for fans for the sole purpose of enjoyment. It is not intended to infringe upon copyrights held by 20th Century Fox, Marvel Enterprises, X-Men creators Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, authors and screenwriters Tom DeSanto, Bryan Singer, David Hayter, Zak Penn, Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris, and Simon Kinberg, or any other licensed holders of copyrights to the X-Men comic books or movies.

Distribution: I'd be honored if fellow fans create links on their sites to this story or share it with even more fans via distribution lists. I would ask only that you give credit (or blame, as the case may be) to the author. A little advance warning of your intentions would also be nice.

Feedback: Definitely welcome, whether good, bad, or indifferent. "That which does not kill me will only make me stronger."

Spoilers: _The Wildfire Trilogy_ (_Fire's Rising, Fire's Price, Fire's Promise) _is meticulously threaded through the three X-Men movies. You can't read these stories without at least a passing recollection of the movies, nor can you read these stories without learning what happens in the movies.

Acknowledgements: I never would have written this if I hadn't fallen in love with the X-Men comic books when I was a kid. The characters inspired me, the stories enthralled me, and to this day, Storm remains one of my favorite characters of all time.

Premise: I hated X3. I hated that Scott was marginalized and no one seemed to care what was happening to him; I hated that Jean was so obviously open to Logan's advances; and I hated that she killed Scott and did _whatever_ to the Professor. So what if there had been someone else there all along, another mutant going through trials and tribulations of her own, who could put a different spin on things?

Notes: I only saw X3 once and have no plans to see it again. So if there's anything in _The Wildfire Trilogy_ which conflicts with X3, that's why.

One last thing: Try not to get too worked up over how far I roamed from X-Men canon with Scott. First of all, the movie screenwriters went off the page long before I did. But mostly, I figured the guy got such a raw deal in X3, he deserved a little bit of fun and undivided attention.

X3 One

He was still cold. Scott grabbed a sweater from the dresser drawer and pulled it on over the shirt and t-shirt, but it wasn't enough. Restless, impatient, he paced to the windows, rubbing his arms as he stood in the hazy morning sunlight pouring into his bedroom. It felt good, and Scott closed his eyes and raised his face to its warmth.

"What's with all the clothes?" Jean teased, her lips at his ear, her hands burrowing under the sweater and smoothing around to his chest.

"You weren't here," he sighed, smiling, covering her hands with his and angling his head back for a kiss, "and I was cold."

"I'm here now," she crooned, kissing his jaw and opening her arms as he turned.

Scott stepped around into thin, crisp air that blew harshly into his face and filled his empty arms and sheared straight through all three layers of clothes. "Jean?"

"You're usually better at this," she mocked, ahead and to his left, and he chuckled, shivering, and followed the playful sound of her laughter through the trees, wondering how long she'd make him chase her and anticipating a long, lazy loving once he had his hands on her again.

The forest fell silent, but he was a better tracker than that. He knew where she was. Scott rounded the tree, reaching for her, and stumbled through the snow onto the rocky beach of Alkali Lake.

"Jean?" he called, his breath a misty cloud in the frigid air. Scott scanned the tree line, pulling on his gloves and grateful for the relative warmth his X-Men uniform provided. Where was she hiding now?

"_Scott!_" she screamed, and he knew with searing, startling clarity that she was in the water. He whirled and pelted across the rocks and soft, sandy soil and plunged in after her.

Icy darkness closed over his head and shocked the breath from him and he flailed, reaching for her. His chest burned for air, but nothing mattered except finding Jean. He spun desperately in the water, but he couldn't see her or feel her anywhere in the murky depths. _She was gone._ He clawed for the surface, gasped for air and stubbornly dove again--but a violent, seething whirlpool sucked him down and whipped him around until he couldn't breathe, couldn't think, he would drown, alone--completely, endlessly _alone_--in suffocating darkness and bitter cold and--

Scott hurled himself up and flung himself scrambling and stumbling off the bed and half way across the room. His chest heaving, his breath harsh in his throat and loud in the silence, he blinked to clear his eyes of snow and ice and water and stared at the familiar sights of his bedroom--the huge, four-poster bed that Jean had adored, the blankets and comforter he now slept under even in late summer, in complete disarray--the light on the end table next to the bed and the floor lamp next to the loveseat, both turned on because he never slept in darkness any more--the dresser that still held all of her things, the small table for two in front of the windows that he couldn't sit at without seeing Jean sitting across from him, the extraordinary stereo system he'd built that he couldn't play any more because one of Jean's cd's was still in it, and he couldn't bear to listen to it, and he couldn't bear to take it out--

He was awake now, and safe in their bedroom, but he was just as cold and alone as he had been in that damned dream. As rawly devastated as the moment those waters had crushed the love of his life. Only now he was drowning not in water but in the fresh, jagged loss that his mind replayed for him almost every night.

Nothing was helping. Not the hours he'd spent talking to the Professor, not all the articles he'd read on grief, not even the sleeping pills he'd finally resorted to. He was _still_ having the dream, more often than ever. And he was just as alone as ever, apparently just as afraid in his sleep that he'd never be able to move past Jean's death as he was with every waking moment. Or was it that he didn't really want to?

Eyes tightly shut, Scott pulled the visor off and rubbed wearily at his face as he shuffled, blindly, back to the bed. Maybe that was the problem--that he didn't want to lose even this much more of her. Because at least for those few, fleeting moments, he was in Jean's arms and basking in her love again. And was that really so bad a thing?

Except he already knew the answer to that. Because he'd already asked the question out loud.

_Of course it is,_ the Professor had said. _Because it isn't real. You know that Jean would want so much more for you than that._

She'd want him to move on, to be whole and strong again, to be _happy_. They'd agreed on that, all of them--him and the Professor, him and Ororo. Lili, too, before she'd left, and everyone else who'd found a way to approach him since. Except he didn't know what happiness meant any more without Jean. Not when nearly every night he remembered so clearly how divinely, wonderfully _perfect_ it had been to be with her.

Scott shoved the visor back on, yanked the comforter off the bed, and wrapped it around himself as he crossed to the loveseat. Maybe he should give up trying to sleep in the bed, since this was where he wound up every night anyway. He dropped down onto it, but he didn't bother closing his eyes again. He wouldn't be able to get back to sleep tonight any more than he had any other night.

And he was still cold.

X3 Two

_She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe!_

She clawed frantically for air, but the heavy darkness held her down and her hands were so cold she couldn't feel them and she didn't know which way was up, where she was, why she was in the water, and her chest ached so fiercely and _she just couldn't breathe_--

"Lisa!"

She jolted to warmth, to softness, to a vaguely familiar woman leaning over her in a pool of soft yellow light, and wrenched herself from the woman's hands and scrambled back, shaking, against the headboard, drawing the sweet night air into her lungs in huge, convulsive gulps and clutching at the sheets.

The woman shook her head. "I'm sorry, _Lili_. Are you all right, honey?"

Lili. Right. This was just a bedroom, _this was her mother_, this was _Lili's_ bedroom at _her mother's _home and she was fine, not drowning, she was _breathing_. Lili took another deep breath and brushed her hair back from her face and offered her mother a shaky smile. Her mother had come to see if she was all right and woken her up and it was the simplest thing, normal and mundane and something a lot of daughters undoubtedly took for granted, but Lili cherished the moment for the precious thing it was to her. Because she'd never had anyone there to wake her from a bad dream before.

"That must have been a terrible nightmare," Charlotte said, concerned, her Texan drawl thick and oddly comforting as she smoothed the rumpled sheets.

"Oh," Lili blinked, trying to remember. "I think I was drowning."

"Drowning?" Lips parted and eyebrows raised, Charlotte gave the sheets a final pat and sat on the side of the bed. "Well, where did that come from?"

"I don't know," Lili shrugged. "I've never spent any time in the water."

"Not even a hotel pool somewhere?" Charlotte hesitantly asked.

Lili looked at her mother, sitting there on her bed like any other mother in the world after her daughter had a nightmare. Slim, beautiful, delicate and composed and caring and strong as steel, a rancher's daughter and a Southern woman to the core. And gently, sadly curious about the life her daughter had led without her. She should have expected all of the questions, considering how many _she_ had.

"No pools. No swimming at all. Max would have had to put too much thought and time into something besides my act and how much money I could make for him for that."

Charlotte nodded and looked away, and Lili wondered how much her mother actually wanted to hear. She wanted to be honest, but she didn't want to upset her, either.

"Thanks for waking me," Lili softly offered. "It feels good."

"Yes," Charlotte sniffed, turning back and smiling, "it does, doesn't it?"

Actually, it felt _fantastic_, like no matter where she went or what mistakes she made, she'd never feel alone again. Lili couldn't help it, and now, finally, she didn't have to. _She'd found her mother._ Lili scooted close and pulled her mother into a fierce hug--which was just as fervently returned.

"I missed you so much," her mother whispered.

"I know," Lili managed, her throat tight. "Me, too."

Lili closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of her mother's embrace. What a long, strange road it had been to get from circus after circus with Max to Scott and Ororo and the Professor's school to this moment in northern Texas with the woman who'd taken one look at her and _known_ who she was, weeks before the DNA tests had come back.

Lisa Kimberlin Stanton, daughter of Charlotte Louise, a hospital administrator now living in Sherman, Texas, in her lovely, sprawling ranch home, and Aaron Randall Stanton, long since divorced from his first wife and still being sought by the Professor's detective agency.

_Lisa._ Oops. "I'm sorry, Mom," Lili said, finally pulling back, enjoying the light in her mother's eyes at hearing the word. "You called me Lisa, and I didn't--"

"Liliana," her mother said, deliberately, "I know you've tried, and it's all right. I _hate_ that that man took you away from me for all those years, but you've come back to me strong and smart and beautiful and safe and I just don't care any more if you brought a different name back with you, too."

"Even if it came from Max? Because I didn't want to keep anything from him, but…"

Charlotte pressed her lips tightly together and reached to tuck an errant strand of Lili's hair behind her ear. "But you just don't think of yourself as Lisa--do you?"

"No," Lili admitted. "I can't seem to make it fit."

"Well, as long as you think of yourself as my daughter…"

Lili pressed a quick kiss to her mother's cheek. "Right now, I can't think of myself as anything _but_."

"That's my girl," Charlotte grinned. "Now tell me something else I don't know about my daughter--like can you get back to sleep now, or would you like to have some pie and a glass of milk? Maybe even go through another photo album with me?"

"Your peach pie is even better than chocolate peanut butter ice cream," Lili laughed. "And you know I want to see everything. But it's pretty late, Mom. Don't you have to be at work in the morning?"

"I have my daughter back," her mother sighed happily. "I can do anything."

For just a moment, Lili was very much afraid that her mother wouldn't be able to do _anything_ after all. Because her mother didn't yet know that her daughter had also come home to her a mutant. But Lili shoved that knowledge and the fear and all thoughts of her powers as far away from her as she could, just as she had any number of times over the last several weeks, and followed her mother to the kitchen. She wanted pie in the middle of the night with her mother. She wanted to see another photo album and learn more of her mother's life and the family she hadn't met yet.

And maybe even more than anything else, she wanted this time to get to know who she herself was, now that she knew she'd started her life as Lisa Stanton, born on an unseasonably hot morning on the 18th of December, only child, daughter and granddaughter and niece, _not_ as Liliana August, mutant fire starter and circus performer.

Her powers would definitely wait.

X3 Three

Where the hell had he put his razor?

Scott upended another drawer in the bathroom cabinet and irritably glanced at his watch. He was late, _again_, and if he didn't find the damned razor soon, he'd be late _and_ sporting a two-day growth that the Professor would read as a sign of something significant about his mental health and Ororo would simply worry about and Logan would probably smirk at and for crying out loud, who the hell cared what he looked like? It was just a defensive exercise in the Danger Room. The students would be too busy dodging blasts and punches and debris and who knew what else Storm's program would throw at them to care--and so would he. And who said he'd always have the time to shave before an emergency anyway? Right. Scott grabbed his t-shirt off the counter and yanked it over his head and stalked barefoot back into the bedroom. Now where the hell were his shoes?

_Scott?_

He froze.

No. _No._ He had _not_ just heard Jean's voice, calling his name. He was alone in his bedroom, _alone_, and he was half dressed and already inexcusably late for a--

Warmth stole over his heart and something fluttered at the edges of his mind and he sucked in a startled breath and tensed, fists clenched at his sides, waiting for the impossible feel of her arms sliding around him, hope a desperate ache in his chest…

_Please, Scott_…

He whirled, half expecting snow and trees and laughter, but he was still in his bedroom and Jean wasn't there and dear God, he was losing his mind. _Of course_ she wasn't there. But it hurt that she wasn't, it hurt so damned much, the pain of it shaking him like a rag doll and choking the life out of him and pushing him perilously close to the edge of his sanity.

_I need you, love--please!_

Frigid cold blasted the warmth away and shattered that delicate, elusive touch to his mind and he nearly howled with the loss of even that small a part of her.

_Of her?_ Jean was gone, she was _dead_, but he was hearing her voice and feeling her touch in his mind in broad daylight now and _he just couldn't do this any more_. The answers weren't there. They never had been, they never would be _there_.

Scott shoved his feet into his shoes and threw a jacket on and yanked a bag out of the closet. Jeans, shirts, socks, he grabbed whatever looked even half way clean and stuffed it in. Visor, extra pair of glasses, wallet, cell phone, and he zipped the bag shut and hauled the door open and he walked out.

And for the first time since that damned dream had started, he felt like he could take a full breath. This was right. He had to _go_.

He was nearly on top of the Professor before recognition trickled through the maps in his mind's eye. Automatically he paused, deferring to the Professor as he'd always done, but the light of welcome in his mentor's eyes darkened to weary resignation the moment he saw the bag, and something in Scott simply snapped.

"Scott--"

"You don't understand, Professor," Scott said tightly. "I can't blame you for that--because _I_ don't understand, either. All I know for sure is that I'll never find what I'm looking for here."

"What do you think you'll find out there?" Xavier pressed.

He wanted to say that he'd find Jean, but that was the most ridiculous thought he'd had yet. Except something flashed in the Professor's eyes, gone in an instant before that beloved face smoothed blandly over, and Scott knew Xavier had heard the thought anyway, and was immeasurably disappointed.

"I'm sorry," Scott murmured, not because he was sorry he had to leave, but sorry he wasn't as strong as either he or the Professor had once thought, and brushed past him. He'd already settled on the fastest route to Alkali Lake before he'd even gotten to the stairs.

X3 Four

Lili had known the day Max had taken her to that warehouse in Manhattan that things were going to change for her. It had been something new in his eyes, an edge she'd never seen there before, and while she hadn't been prepared for what Max would demand she do or how drastically her life would change when she said no, at least she'd had that little bit of warning. Life with Max had taught her to take keen note of the people and events around her, always, without fail, and she'd leaned on that skill hard once she'd woken up at Xavier's school, with an unbelievably generous Scott Summers at her bedside. Things had happened so quickly after that. Trying, difficult, sometimes impossible things, that had indiscriminately turned her life upside down and inside out and made her into someone she was still trying to define and understand. But there had always been signs, and each day had in some way prepared her for what was coming next.

Then she sat down to watch the news with her mother after dinner, just as they had every day since Lili had arrived on her mother's doorstep, and without any warning whatsoever, _everything_ changed.

"A cure?" her mother repeated, eyebrows raised, the pen and papers in her hands suddenly still. "Mutation's not a disease, although I suppose the ones with the more drastic manifestations, like Secretary McCoy, might feel otherwise."

"What?" Lili gaped, her skin tingling and a funny roaring filling her ears and the lovely dinner her mother had cooked now roiling in her belly. _A cure?_

Charlotte shook her head, watching the television closely, but Lili didn't care what else this Worthington guy standing in the sunshine on Alcatraz Island was saying. The science of it was beyond her, and his opinion and all that rhetoric simply didn't matter. Her mother's opinion, however, did.

Charlotte sighed, pointing to the television with her pen. "Some of the doctors I work with think that way, that the mutations to the genes that give people these abilities are just like any mutation to the cells that cause cancer or Alzheimer's or any other disease. And maybe that is a valid way to think about it--I don't know, I'm an administrator, not a doctor. But where do we draw that line, then? Is it a disease to be short, or five pounds too heavy, or _freckled_?" She shook her head again and went back to her work. "No, I think calling this treatment a _cure_ is a bad idea. It's one thing to tell a mutant that if they want to they can be just like most everyone else after all, but quite another to label all of them as 'diseased.' I mean, they can't all be unhappy about what they are, can they?"

Lili sat there and stared. Her mother didn't have a problem with mutants. _She didn't have a problem with mutants._ They were just people to her, people like everyone else. Why hadn't she thought to simply ask her mother what she thought of all if it, rather than spend weeks dancing around the most basic fact of her life? Except Lili had seen people change their opinions, once things struck too closely to home. Would her mother be like that? Lili swallowed, hard, her heart pounding, and asked the most important questions of her life.

"What if I had a mutation, Mom?" she managed. "Would you still want me to be your daughter then?"

"Well, sweetheart," her mother laughed, glancing up, "I..." She stilled, noticing far more than Lili would have liked, all in a single heartbeat, her gaze flicking over Lili as if she were seeing her for the first time again, and Lili wondered for the briefest moment if she hadn't gotten her skills of observation more from her mother than from life with Max.

Nervously she dredged up a smile for her mother, giving her the out, half willing to laugh it off as a joke and never mention the subject of mutations with her mother again if it meant she couldn't handle it. Except then there would be a lie between them, always, and Lili would lose her after all. This was her mother, and if she couldn't be completely honest with her, then what would that say for the rest of Lili's life? No, she couldn't take this back. _Both_ of their lives had changed with that one simple word. _Cure_.

Charlotte absently set her work aside and cleared her throat. "I was going to say that if you could do something useful I'd put you to work, but… This isn't a joke, is it?"

"No," Lili softly admitted. She stood and crossed restlessly to turn off the television, giving herself a minute to gather her thoughts. When she finally turned around to face her mother, she couldn't read anything past the stunned expression on her mother's face. Lili called herself a coward, but nothing could make her feet move back across the room. She leaned carefully back against the entertainment center. "What do you remember about the day I disappeared?"

"The day you--" Charlotte blinked, her lips parting as she cast back. "Well, one minute you were standing next to me, begging for cotton candy, but when I turned around with it you were gone. I stood there and I shouted for you and then I was running all over the place, but this fire had started and _everyone_ was running and I couldn't get anyone to help me. By the time everything calmed down again, you were just… _gone_."

"Max had taken me," Lili confirmed. And then she made the connection her mother had never even suspected. "But not just because I was the right age or the right look or any of the reasons you might have thought. He took me because he…" _Oh, God, this was so much harder than she'd thought._ But it had to be said. It _had_ to. "Because he saw me start the fire, Mom. Not with matches or a lighter, but with my mind, because I guess I'd wandered away and couldn't find you and I was afraid."

Helplessly her mother shook her head, speechless. She didn't understand. And Lili couldn't blame her. This was _so_ far outside the realm of what surely passed for normal mother-daughter conversations. But it meant Lili'd have to show her, right then and there. She took a deep breath, then another, screwed up every last ounce of her courage, held out her hand, and ignited the power within her.

She'd kept it next to dormant for weeks now, and the heat surged with unexpected strength. Lili poured it all into her hand, until her skin glowed white and shimmered with heat in the middle of her mother's living room.

"Oh, my God," her mother breathed, and Lili's stomach plummeted. But she couldn't stop now.

She focused, drawing most of the heat back into her, and sent the rest into the air just above her hand in a dancing pattern of delicately twisting flames. "The only pyrotechnics in my act were to keep the other circus people from knowing I was for real. The rest of it was all me. That's why Max wanted me, why he kept me under lock and key for years. I made him a lot of money with what I could do."

Except Charlotte wasn't watching the little show. Her eyes were locked on Lili's, and Lili knew her mother was seeing the flames burning there. But was she seeing _her daughter_, to be loved no matter what, or a mutant to be feared and kicked out of her home and her life? Lili snuffed everything out and dropped her hand to her side, waiting tensely for the answer.

"That's why…" Her voice trailed off, and Charlotte gathered herself and tried again. "That's why you always felt like you had a fever?"

Lili nodded.

"But… you don't feel like that now."

"That's because it's under control now. It wasn't then. I was six, with no idea what was happening--how could it be?"

"Right. How could it be," her mother murmured. She closed her eyes and rubbed at her face, and Lili stood there and chewed on her lip and wished she had just a little of Jean's or the Professor's telepathy, to know what her mother was thinking.

Finally the silence was too much to handle. "You must have a lot of questions," Lili blurted, shifting uneasily against the entertainment center.

"God, honey, I'm so sorry," her mother sighed, and Lili heard the regret thickening her voice and tensed, trying to brace herself for the disappointment that was sure to follow with her mother's next words, even though she knew there would never be enough time or preparation in the world for how badly it would hurt to be denied after all by her mother. But when Charlotte dropped her hands and looked up, tears tracking down her cheeks, Lili's gaze flew to her mother's and all she saw there was love and a burning need for forgiveness. "It's all my fault," her mother gasped. "You were just a baby. If I'd just kept a closer eye on you that day--for just that one minute--you wouldn't have gotten scared and that _bastard_ never would have noticed you and taken you away. All those years, you must have been so alone, just because I… _I looked away_. I'm so sorry."

Nothing could have kept her from her mother then. Lili was across the room and in her mother's arms in an instant. "It's _not_ your fault," Lili swore, "any more than it was mine. _Max_ did this, no one else."

Charlotte pulled back, her hands shaking on Lili's shoulders. "I can't believe you don't blame me."

Relief bubbled up light as air and made Lili laugh. "And I can't believe that mattered even more to you than what I am."

Her mother clasped Lili's face in her hands, and now everything about her touch and her expression was fiercely protective. "What you are is _my daughter_, and you've finally come home. Nothing else matters."

Except… "Not… not even this cure they're talking about?"

Charlotte took a deep breath and smoothed Lili's hair back. "I've lived without you too long. I don't care if you're a mutant any more than I care if you've got purple hair or a prosthetic leg or--or voodoo dolls in your closet. As long as you're happy. As long as we're together."

Lili'd waited for as long as she could remember for just this moment, those words, to stand in her mother's arms and know she was loved and accepted, just as she was. "You're right, Mom," she managed. "Nothing else matters."

"Well," Charlotte grinned, "as long as you don't burn anything in the house. I hate the smell of smoke."

"You know something?" Lili laughed, hugging her mother again. "So do I."

X3 Five

Scott pointed the bike straight into what would have looked like the deepest darkness to anyone else, his night vision a hundred times more effective with his visor than anything the headlight alone provided. He took the turn hidden in that darkness so sharply and so fast that his knee brushed the road. But this was _his_ bike, personally reengineered and customized and better than anything else on any street or track in the world. The tires gripped the macadam, as he'd known they would, and he wrenched the bike upright and gunned it again. He had always loved to ride. Whether alone or with Jean on the back, it had _always_ been an extraordinary pleasure. But this trip wasn't about that. The wind in his face was merely something to be endured now, not something to appreciate or even, really, to notice. The freedom of moving fast and controlling a superbly crafted machine were illusions he no longer had the time to indulge. All that mattered was that every mile, every turn, every rise and twist and dip in the road meant he was that much farther from the school and that much closer to Alkali Lake.

Because he couldn't outrun the disappointment churning in his stomach, and he couldn't seem to go fast enough to satisfy the urgency screaming in his head. He'd put mile after mile behind him, not stopping to do anything except gas up the motorcycle. He'd pushed the bike and himself to their absolute limits--and it simply wasn't enough. He could still see that look in the Professor's eyes, could still taste the bitter futility of not even trying to explain, because _none of them_ understood or even had the patience any more to try.

And whenever he let his attention stray for even the barest instant, he could still hear Jean's voice, calling for him. Sometimes loving, sometimes teasing or sweetly cajoling. But other times… vicious, accusing, even taunting. It was ripping what was left of him apart.

He rounded the bend in the highway and took the straightaway at better than twice the posted speed limit. And the low fuel light blinked again. _Damn it_. Already?

Jaw tight with frustration, Scott slowed, down-shifted, and took the next exit. The nearest gas station was point seven miles to the right. Wonderful.

He'd trained for combat his entire adult life. Scott knew something was wrong the moment the gas station was in sight. For the briefest instant he seriously considered driving past. _He didn't have the time for this_. But before the thought was finished in his head he'd already signaled his turn and begun to slow. He was an X-Man. Even if his team and his mentor had long since lost faith in him, not helping someone in trouble was unthinkable. He'd just have to be quick about it.

Scott pulled up to the well-lit pumps, his eyes darting safely around behind the concealment of his visor to take everything in as he casually shut off the bike, kicked the stand into place, and swung himself off. Two inside, one still behind the wheel of the Camaro at the rear corner of the mini mart, with no headlights on, but the engine running.

A Camaro? Please. Had he wandered onto the set of some chase movie from the Eighties?

Well. Which one to take care of first? They made the decision easy--the guy behind the register handed over the money, and as Scott watched, reaching for his wallet with one hand and raising the other to brush his hair at his temple right next to his visor's controls, the two kids with the guns simply tucked them and the money back into their coats and ran out.

Young, stupid, amateurs. He could take the weapons out with ease, blow out the Camaro's tires, and be on his way as soon as his tank was filled. And then one of them got a good look at Scott's bike. A quick tug on the other's jacket, a sharp nod in Scott's direction, and they were suddenly on their way to him.

He'd have to fight them. The thought didn't bother him at all. In fact, it was the first thing in weeks that actually grabbed his interest. This might be good, a thought Logan would undoubtedly have appreciated. Scott controlled a smile as he pulled out the credit card, swiped it, and slid the wallet back into his pocket just as they walked up.

"Nice bike," Idiot Number One positively drooled.

"Thanks," Scott cheerfully replied, and reached for the pump.

Idiot Number Two grabbed his wrist with one hand and with the other pulled open his jacket enough to reveal the gun shoved into the waist of his pants. "We're gonna need the keys, pal."

"I don't think so," Scott grinned, "_pal_."

A quick, brutal twist freed his arm and an even quicker and more brutal hard-fingered thrust at Two's neck dropped him, gasping sickly for air and clutching at his throat, to his knees. One was smart enough to back out of Scott's reach, but that still didn't give him enough time to clear the gun from his inside pocket. And Scott's "reach" was considerably longer than this Idiot could know. Scott keyed the visor and fired a pinpoint bolt of energy dead center at One's chest. He flew ten feet back in a sizzling crimson rush and landed hard on his back, his head smacking the pavement with the kind of sound that said he'd be out for quite a while and his gun skittering another ten feet farther away from his outstretched arms.

And then Idiot Number Three made the mistake of getting out of the Camaro instead of driving away. Scott blew the gun out of his hand, and as it flew off into the darkness, he tapped the visor again and sent Three crashing back against the car and sliding limply down its door to the ground.

Idiot Number Two had wised up enough to try to scramble away. An optic blast squarely to the middle of his back flattened him, face down, at pump number four. Scott rolled him over, not gently, and yanked the gun from his waist.

That hadn't taken long at all. He hadn't even broken a sweat. He was beginning to understand why Logan preferred action to words. Now if he could just get the bike gassed up and be back on the road before the police arrived. He was _not_ in the mood for paperwork.

"Holy shit," the attendant breathed from the doorway.

Scott popped the clip, cleared the round from the chamber, put the safety on anyway, and tossed the gun to him. "You're welcome."

Need sliced impossibly through him, as if…

_Scott? Please, love._

"I'm coming," he muttered, and ran back to his bike.

"What?" the attendant blinked at him.

Scott didn't bother to answer. He slotted the handle into the tank and had it to three quarters full when he finally heard the siren. That would have to be enough for now.

He gunned the bike, wheeled it around in a tight spin that left marks, and took off. The attendant never moved from the doorway. Splash one good deed and three Idiots. Too bad they hadn't even put up a half way decent fight. A really good one might have given him the chance to blow off some of this awful tension gripping him so mercilessly. Then again, that would have taken far too long, and he might have gone insane right there in the middle of the mini mart.

Scott hit the on ramp at seventy and tapped the super accelerator back on line half way down the gentle slope and had put the incident at the gas station completely out of his mind by the time he reached the highway. _Faster_, _farther_, that was all he could think about--the road, his speed, the motorcycle's performance, angles and degrees and which highway he was on and which highway would be next and getting to Alkali Lake as fast as was humanly--mutantly--possible.

He still had no idea what he'd find there when he finally arrived. He just knew it was the last place on earth where he'd had the woman he loved in his arms, and if he had even the smallest chance of any kind of life at all, he had to get back there.

X3 Six

Lili uncurled one leg from underneath her, set her bare foot down on the grass, and pushed, propelling the beautiful old wooden swing in the back corner of her mother's property into gentle motion. She hadn't expected this part of Texas to be so green and wooded, or full of such softly rolling hills. It was lovely, and soothing, and quiet--exactly what Lili had needed. She leaned her head back against the swing and relaxed into the motion and the afternoon's warmth and the huge, clear, stunningly blue sky above.

A cure. She still couldn't quite believe it.

And her mother honestly didn't care if she took it or not.

How many times had she wished her powers away, so that Max wouldn't want her any more? And later, so that she couldn't have hurt Scott, or those soldiers. And yet it was her powers that had brought her to Xavier's school, to true friendship, to the children--had allowed her to protect them--and finally, eventually, even given her a family in the circus world after all, and brought her all the way back to her mother. She couldn't say anymore that the price of her power was too high, because the heat within had given back as much as it had taken. Clean slate. Scales balanced. She couldn't look to the past, then, for guidance.

The present was pretty good, too. She didn't stand out like Kurt. She didn't depend on any devices like Scott. She certainly wasn't painfully, dangerously restricted, like Rogue, and she wasn't estranged from her family because of her mutation like Bobby or the twins or so very many others. In fact, thanks to her powers, she had a second family at the school, one that would always stand by her no matter what, just like her mother.

Maybe she should look to the future, then, to make this decision. So what did she want to do with her life?

Spend time with her family and her friends, obviously.

Find a way to make a difference in this crazy world, although she had no idea how.

Travel, definitely. No rules, no itineraries, no performance schedules.

Huh. A surprizingly short list. And no help at all, because she could do all of those things whether she took the cure or not.

What would everyone at the school be thinking? How would they make this decision?

Storm, she knew, would tell her she was perfectly fine, just as she was, and would undoubtedly never take the cure herself. Rogue, on the other hand, had probably already said _good riddance_ and run to the head of the line at the nearest clinic. There would be no help from Logan. Lili had to smile at the thought. Logan would shrug off any responsibility for her decision and simply tell her to do whatever she wanted. But then Lili realized--Logan couldn't take the cure, because without his healing factor he'd never be able to extend his claws again, or more fundamentally, his body might even begin to reject the adamantium layered over his skeleton--and her smile faded. And what of the Professor? If he took the cure he'd be truly and completely confined to his wheelchair, quite possibly for the first time in his life. So would he tell her to make this decision based on how it would affect the quality of her life? Or would he say that denying her power would be denying a part of herself that she might, one day, wish she still had?

All of them were important to her, and all of them had helped her in some way as she'd stumbled through trying to figure out what her life could be after Max. But no one had helped her more--or had meant more to her--than Scott, and she really, truly, almost desperately wanted to know what he thought of all this.

She missed him, even more than she'd thought she would. She missed his friendship, his guidance, his unflagging support. His strength, his smile, his gentleness. Lili closed her eyes and took a deep breath to ease the heaviness in her chest. She should have called him sooner, then it wouldn't feel like such a huge thing now. If only he'd been there, just once, any of the times she'd checked in with Ororo or the Professor or Rogue. Was he all right? They'd never had much to say when she'd asked about him. Had she been right, to give him some space to figure things out on his own while she did the same? Or should she have included him on this part of her journey, let him lean on her as she'd leaned so hard and so often on him?

Well, one thing was certain--sitting there wasn't going to get her any answers. Lili pushed herself up from the swing and started winding her way back through the garden to the house. Maybe she could run everything by her mother. Still not exactly normal for a mother-daughter conversation, but it had to be close, considering how good it made Lili feel to realize she could do that now, just walk up and ask her mother for advice.

And then the heat pulsed within her, and Lili knew before she'd even looked up from the path that her mother wasn't alone. Ten--no, eleven people all stood somewhat stiffly on the ranch house's wide, airy back porch with her mother. Who was doing a lot of talking. Lili frowned, trying to remember--had her mother mentioned throwing a party tonight? Then Charlotte noticed her.

"Lili! Come meet the family, sweetheart," her mother waved, and Lili looked again and finally connected everyone with the pictures scattered all over her mother's house.

_Her family_. Part of her wanted to run straight to them. Part of her wanted to run to pretty much anywhere else in the world. And part of her wanted to stop and stand there and memorize the entire moment. But her legs kept moving, and all too soon she was stepping up onto the back porch and trying to take everything in all at once. All of their beautiful faces, their expressions, their groupings, their eyes full of caution and their hesitant smiles and their nervous, sometimes even defensive postures…

They knew. This wasn't the tension of meeting the long lost daughter--her mother had told them she was a mutant. Why would she do that? Lili felt herself closing up.

Charlotte walked calmly over and threw her arm around Lili. Startled, Lili stared at her mother, at the smile that reached all the way to the depths of her eyes.

"This is my daughter," her mother proudly announced, her eyes never leaving Lili's. "She goes by Liliana now. Isn't she beautiful?"

It was such an outrageous thing to say in the middle of all that tension that Lili laughed. Which had certainly been her mother's intention. Was this how it worked? These people were _family_, something Lili had always longed for, but was only now beginning to understand. Her mother must have told them because she wasn't ashamed of her daughter, so everything was out in the open from the start and Lili wouldn't have to hide who she was in her own family, and now she was stating her support in terms everyone there would understand. Her mother was a fine tactician. And judging by the sparkle in her eyes, she knew it.

Lili pressed a light kiss to her mother's cheek, then turned within the loving protection of her mother's am to face her family again. "Hello," she smiled, suddenly almost giggly with excitement. "I can't believe I'm finally here with all of you."

Charlotte made the introductions--Lili's grandparents, Hank and Ida, her Uncle Martin and Aunt Donna and their daughter Rachel, her Great Aunts Anna and Whitney, and her Uncle Parker and Aunt Evelyn and their two boys, Jeffrey and Rodney.

Rodney was nine, maybe ten. And while everyone else stayed back and just offered smiles and nods and the occasional wave, Rodney walked straight up to her. "It's just Rod. I hate being called Rodney."

"Got it," Lili grinned. "Call me Lili."

"Did you really run away with the circus?"

"Rodney," Aunt Evelyn gasped, "that's not polite. Let your cousin--"

"No, it's all right," Lili waved off the concern. "I have thousands of questions about all of you, I don't mind answering some, too." She looked back down. Rod was still waiting, serious as anything, and Lili already adored him. "Well, Rod, I didn't exactly run away. An awful man stole me. But I did live in the circus while I was away."

"Did you see any tigers?" Rod pressed, skipping straight to the important part, his eyes huge.

"Lots. And horses, and elephants, and poodles."

"No way," Rod challenged. "Poodles?"

"The act was called Priscilla's Prancing Poodles, although Priscilla's real name was Jenny. Those dogs did all sorts of things, and kids always loved them, but I've got to tell you, they were yappy little things when they weren't performing. I liked the tigers a lot better."

"Didja ever get to use a chair and a whip on 'em?"

"No," Lili laughed. "Sorry, Rod, but I didn't have anything to do with them. I only ever saw the big cats from a _very_ safe distance."

"Oh," he sighed. "Too bad. What did they call you?"

"I had all sorts of names," Lili softly replied. "My first was Fire Fairy, when I was really little, then Fire Princess, when I was around your age. Next was Fire Dancer, Firestorm, the Amazing--"

"Can you really start fires?"

And there it was, from the nine- or ten-year-old, thank you very much. It struck her, then, that she didn't have to say yes. She could tell them no, head to the nearest clinic offering the cure, and they'd never have to deal with her as anything but a _former_ mutant. Except she didn't want to. _She didn't want to_. This was who she was. A fire burned at the heart of her. It always had, and it always would. After everything, it was as simple as that. She may not be all that certain what she was with her power, but she'd have _no_ idea what she was without it. She didn't have a code name or a costume, but she did have an ability that she'd worked hard to learn to control, that was as much a part of her as breathing or walking. She was a good person, learning how to be a good friend and a good daughter, and she was done trying to change herself to suit what the people around her needed. She _wanted_ her family to like and accept her… as she was. If they didn't, well, then that would be their problem.

"Honestly, Rod," Lili replied, including all of them in a sweeping glance, "I can do just about anything with fire. Start it, stop it, shape it--whatever I want."

"Cool!" he crowed excitedly. "Can I see?"

Everyone went still, even her mother, and Lili knew this was it, make or break time. Scott had once told her that family was supposed to be the people you could always turn to. Would these people be that for her? Or would they cut and run, once she showed them what she was? Only one way to find out…

"I'll tell you what," Lili offered, gently shrugging off her mother's arm to bend down to Rod and offer her hand. "If you promise me that you'll stay on the porch where it's safe, I'll put on a little show, right here and now, just for you. Have we got a deal?"

"Deal!" he grinned, and grabbed her hand.

They shook, and Lili couldn't decide if she should laugh or cry that the nine-year-old was the only one besides her mother not afraid to touch her. Well, at least no one had left. Yet. Slowly she stood and turned to go back into the garden, breathing deeply and shifting to the level of focus she'd always used for her shows.

"Should I get a fire extinguisher or something?" Uncle Parker quietly asked.

He was probably asking her mother, but Lili paused to answer him anyway. "I never hit anyone or anything with so much as a single stray spark, not once in over ten years of performing." No need to mention an early scorching or two she vaguely remembered giving Max before he'd trusted her control enough to put her in front of an audience. And there'd been nothing _stray _about what had happened with Scott or with those soldiers. "You'll be fine if you stay on the porch, but then again, there's always a risk with fire. Mom keeps an extinguisher under the kitchen sink."

"Okay," he nodded, and then he actually smiled at her, and he looked just like his son. Lili smiled back. Maybe this would be all right.

She had thirty-two programs permanently seared into her memory, thanks to Max and the discipline he'd enforced, geared to different spaces and timeframes and even age groups, from her first simplistic efforts to the vastly more complex things she'd eventually done as her control and her strength had grown. Seven of them would have fit this space and this audience. But this wasn't just any space, it was her mother's garden, and this wasn't just any audience, this was her family. Yes, she wanted them to know her, but even more, she didn't want them to be afraid of her. That meant show them her control, get them to relax, and then maybe even make them laugh. She knew exactly what she wanted to do. With one last deep breath Lili brought herself warmly, gloriously to power, turned back to her family, and began.

She lit the air in dozens of shapes and tableaus, she popped fist-sized fireballs all over the garden, she threw fire, she juggled it, she pointed and a thin, rushing stream followed her finger all around the garden. She kept everything simple and fun--nothing even remotely threatening, and nothing even remotely close to the full destructive capability of her power. But one by one she made everyone gasp, and smile, and eventually laugh. Lili ended with a spray of fireworks patterns that had them all beaming up at the familiar shapes and colors and sounds, then finally drew the power and the heat back into her. That had actually been kind of fun, and the heat felt good inside her after weeks and weeks of ignoring it. Lili held the flames alive inside her as she slowly walked back to the porch, letting their warmth seep into the knots in her stomach and the tension in her shoulders and even shore up the trembling in her knees as she searched the eyes of her family for some sense of what they now thought of her.

"That was awesome!" Rod shouted, running to her.

"I had no idea," her mother breathed, stepping down off the porch and reaching for Lili's hand.

Uncle Parker was impressed, Great Aunt Whitney pronounced her quite talented, and then Lili realized she couldn't hear them any more--she couldn't hear _anything_, not even the flames. Instinctively she pulled her hand from her mother's and said _Take Rod_ and backed away, and whether her mother had heard her or not she saw the look in Lili's eyes and pulled him to her. They were all staring at her now, but the silence became a rushing static in her ears and her vision dissolved into white and then sharply, suddenly crimson. She felt and heard her heart beat in one hot, swelling moment--and then unbearable, raging pain lanced through her mind and all she could hear was her scream, shattering the silence, until the pain ripped even that away…

_Help him_, Jean said, and Lili woke, flat on her back, shivery with cold, her mother kneeling at her side and both of her uncles leaning over her and a miserable headache blooming behind her eyes.

"Here she comes," Uncle Martin said, and glanced away. "Donna, bring me that water now."

"Honey?" her mother urgently whispered, her hand shaking as she smoothed Lili's hair back. "Can you hear me?"

She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe right or move, and she couldn't seem to make her throat work, but she could hear. Lili nodded.

"Thank God," her mother sobbed.

"Do you hurt anywhere?" Uncle Parker asked, squatting down.

_No_, she tried to say.

"Good. Just take it easy then," he smiled, and slid his hand behind her neck. "Let's try sitting you up, all right?"

Everything spun around a bit on her, but her vision gradually steadied and she sat there, blinking stupidly at them, trying vainly to wrap her pounding head around what had just happened.

Uncle Parker kept his hand at her back, and Uncle Martin handed him a glass of water to give to her, and finally something made sense.

"Not--not water," she stammered, trying to get her hands working enough to push the glass away.

"No, not water." Her grandfather, stepping into Lili's view, staring down at her with piercing grey eyes. "She's a fire starter, boys, not a fish. Give her some room."

Her mother shook her head. "I'm not looking away from her this time."

"Charlotte," he insisted, gently, "she's almost blue with cold. Watch her from over here so she can warm herself up."

If Lili'd been able to manage much movement or speech she'd have jumped up and hugged him in gratitude. But that would wait. She settled for a shaky smile, but it settled her mother enough that she moved and they all stepped back. Lili closed her eyes and reached for the heat with every bit of strength left to her.

And it filled her with warmth. _Yes_. This was what she needed. Lili stoked the heat higher, sending its strength and power into every corner of her mind and body. And higher again, sparking into flames that evened her breathing, soothed her nerves, and finally cleared her mind.

_Help him_, Jean had said, only that was impossible. How could she have heard _Jean_? But her voice had been so clear… And if she had somehow heard Jean, help _him_ could only mean Scott. Apprehension shook her as she remembered--that distinct crimson, flooding her vision, the same color she'd seen in her mind when she'd burned with Scott. Lili had no idea what had happened, but she knew something was horribly, horribly wrong, and it had to do with him. Lili banked the fires and rolled urgently to her feet.

"Lili?"

"I'm fine, Mom," she reassured her, sidling around her. "I'll explain everything in a minute. Right now, I just need to get to a phone."

She bolted past them all and ran inside. The closest phone was in the kitchen. Lili punched in the number for the school, gripping the phone hard in her hands as it rang and rang and her family filed quietly in. Nothing. Voicemail. She tried Scott's direct line. Voicemail again. Storm's? _Damn it_--_voicemail!_

"I have to go," Lili said, to no one, to all of them, suddenly shaking so hard she dropped the phone.

They all looked at each other, concerned, and her mother stepped to her, steadying her, her grip firm on Lili's arms. "What's wrong, Lili? What just happened?"

"I don't know," Lili confessed. "I've never felt anything quite like it."

"Something to do with your powers?" her grandfather guessed, snagging the phone and restoring it to its cradle.

"No, not mine. That didn't have anything-- Hey, how did you know what I needed to do before?"

Her grandfather smiled, blinked, and those grey eyes were suddenly shimmering with energy. "You think you're the only mutant in the family?"

Lili stared at him, her jaw dropping.

"_Dad_?" her mother gaped.

"I see energies," he said calmly. "Can't _do _anything with them, but I can see them. Don't know why I never saw them in you as a baby, Lisa--maybe they weren't strong enough then, or maybe I never even looked. I don't remember. But today I saw them, and after you passed out, they were really low. And for a second there, the wrong color."

Uncle Martin suddenly laughed. "No wonder you're such a good electrician."

Her grandfather shrugged, blinking again, and his eyes returned to normal.

_Wait a minute_, Lili thought. _The wrong color?_

Charlotte turned to her mother. "Did you know about this?"

"The wrong color?" Lili interrupted.

Her grandfather nodded. "They were a bright yellow-orange before, but red when you went down."

So she hadn't imagined that. Lili felt herself pale. _What had happened to Scott?_ "I really have to go."

"But--_Lili_," her mother protested.

Lili pulled her into a quick, fierce hug. "I promise I'll come back, Mom, but something's really wrong and I have to get to the school. I think-- I think something's happened to Scott."

"The one who came to get you?" her mother softly confirmed.

Lili nodded, her chest suddenly tight. "He was my first, best friend, and he was going through a horribly difficult time but I left him behind to find you, and now I think--" She covered her mouth. She couldn't say it.

Charlotte took a deep breath, then firmly nodded. "I'll pack a bag for you. Mom, get her something to eat, she hasn't had dinner yet. Donna, you're always traveling for that job of yours, take Lili and get online and get her a flight back to New York. She'll need a shuttle service or something there, she doesn't drive. Dad, get your keys, you and I can drive her to the airport at this end. Do we need to move any cars to get out?"

Her family sprang into action, no more questions, no need for an explanation, and Lili was so grateful for their help and support and acceptance that she stood there at the phone for a long moment, trying to get herself together. And hoping with all her heart that she was wrong, that she'd get to the school and Scott would be just fine and they'd all have a good laugh at her panic and the money she'd just wasted to fly back. But she didn't think so.

She'd felt cold--_cold_, for the first time in her life--and it scared her like nothing ever had.

X3 Seven

The whiteness was everywhere. Thick, heavy. Endless.

He stared raptly at it, watched it swirl around him, and as it splintered into distinct little pieces, he put a name to it. _Snow._

It landed lightly on his eyelashes, and dampened his hair. It blew into his eyes and his mouth, and swept across his shoulders. Everywhere he reached he touched it, everywhere he stepped, he walked through it. Everywhere he looked, it was all he could see.

He was lost in it. He walked, not knowing where he was, not knowing where he was going… and got nowhere.

He was alone in it. He found no one, heard no one… thought, of no one.

There was only the snow. It was everywhere. It was everything. Endlessly.

X3 Eight

The cold crept back into Lili somewhere over the Midwest around midnight. But she didn't feel safe burning even a little in an airplane or a car and she certainly didn't feel safe burning in the middle of a public ambivalent at best about mutants. So she bundled up with two of the airline's blankets, she shivered, she rubbed at her arms, she urged the plane and then the car to go faster, and she swore to herself that she would never take the cure if this was what _cold_ felt like.

By the time the car her aunt had arranged pulled up to the school, Lili was afraid she'd never feel warm again. Her hands felt so thick and stupid with the cold she couldn't even handle the little overnight bag her mother had loaned her, and her signature on the credit card slip was completely illegible. But she was home now, and safe, and the minute the driver pulled away Lili reached for the heat and sent it soaring to a conflagration that chased the cold from her and let her take her first deep breath in hours.

Relief lasted only a moment. The urgency and the fear now had lives of their own. Lili threw her bag over her shoulder and ran into the school's front foyer. And five children came barreling in from the main hallway, a beaming Julian leading the way.

"I told you I heard her," he shouted, and for that moment at least there was nothing more important in the entire world than dropping her bag and opening her arms.

"I missed you guys so much," Lili managed, holding them close and tousling their hair as Julian, Petra, and the twins all threw themselves at her. Only Thomas held back, to give the others room, so only Thomas saw the flames in her eyes. Lili banked the heat, just enough to clear her eyes, and smiled, just for him. "It's okay, Thomas," she said, reaching to cup his cheek. She could only hope she wasn't lying.

Petra wiggled back and put her small hands on Lili's cheeks. "Did you find your mom?"

"I did," Lili grinned, "and she can't wait to meet you."

"Is she here? Is she here?" Carrie and Christie danced in place.

"Not this trip," Lili shook her head, her chest suddenly tight with urgency again, the fear clawing its way back into her heart. "Hey--where are you guys supposed to be right now?"

"Math," Thomas grimaced.

Julian cocked his head, listening. "Miss Carol just said if we're not back in two minutes we'll have double homework!"

"Then you better go," Lili sighed, loudly, to cut through their protests. "But I'll see you later--okay?"

They gave her another flurry of hugs and smiles and promises and took off again with that boundless energy of theirs. Except for Thomas, who stopped in the archway to turn back and stare uncertainly up at her.

"Go on, Thomas," Lili gently urged. "I promise, I'll see you later."

"When?" he pressed.

Lili needed a deep breath. "I don't know, but… as soon as I can, all right?"

Thomas hesitated, and Lili could see the worry clear as day in his eyes. He'd heard a lot of promises in his young life, and precious few of them had been kept. But he'd learned that everything was different at the school, and he knew by now that _she_ was different, too. He smiled, trusting her, and with a wave he, too, was gone.

Lili hurried to Scott's room, but there was no answer to her knock. Impatiently she opened the door anyway. The room was empty. And for a man as controlled in everything he did as Scott, a complete mess. Stunned, Lili paced slowly to the center of the room and let her bag drop to the floor as she surveyed the chaos. Drawers were half open, clothes were in piles, the bed was a shamble of blankets, with the comforter wadded up on the loveseat, and books and papers were strewn everywhere.

What had happened to him? This was the room of a man barely functioning, not the powerful leader of the X-Men. How had Scott let his home get like this? And hadn't anyone even noticed he was in trouble?

There was something else, too--something that made the heat still burning within restlessly twist and skip. Something not quite right about that room. Lili closed her eyes and sent the heat radiating from her in a low, gentle swell that touched every surface and filled every inch of space.

The room's temperature was almost ten degrees higher than it should have been, yet somehow… the room felt _cold_. As if no one had been there for weeks.

Where was Scott?

Lili turned and ran back downstairs. When she got to the Professor's office the door was closed, but the heat still radiating from her told her he was in there, and with Ororo. She felt that first hint of the Professor's presence in her mind and pushed straight into the office, too afraid he'd say he couldn't talk to her right now to wait for permission.

"Where's Scott?" Lili blurted.

She may not have caught Xavier by surprize, but Ororo hadn't known she was coming. She turned, her eyes brightening, but Lili had never seen Ororo so upset or so agitated. It was harder to read in the Professor--much, much harder--but he, too, was nowhere near his usual calm.

"Welcome back," the Professor said, but his smile wasn't a happy one, and it never reached the hooded eyes that didn't quite meet hers, and Lili felt the blood drain from her face. Ororo held a hand out to her, and Lili took it and gripped it hard.

"Where's Scott?" she asked again, only this time her throat was so tight the words came out as a whisper.

"He's missing," Ororo said, gently, worry thick in her voice.

Fear sheared through her so badly Lili started shaking. Mutely she stared at the Professor.

He sighed heavily. "Scott left the school two days ago. We monitored the beacon on his motorcycle to Alkali Lake, but… we can't find him now."

Two days? Only two? Not weeks ago… And--Alkali Lake? Where Jean died? Lili shook her head. "But--why did he leave? No--why did you _let_ him leave? I've seen his room--Scott was barely functioning."

"We tried, Lili," Ororo replied, so sadly it made Lili's heart ache. "All of us. And for a week or so it looked like he would pull out of it."

"But?" she pressed.

Xavier rubbed distractedly at his temple. "But he wouldn't let go of Jean. Losing her broke him, Liliana, and nothing any of us did or said could put him back together. In the end I'm not even sure he was trying any more. He simply left."

She heard his words, but what she heard even louder was sorrow, as if Xavier hadn't lost only Jean, but Scott, too, and… impatience. With himself, or with Scott?

"All right," Lili said, slowly, feeling her way. There was more going on here than either of them were saying. "Then where is he now? Why can't you find him?"

Ororo wrapped _both_ hands around Lili's. "There's something you don't know, Lili."

That much was obvious. Lili waited, dread a painful heaviness in her stomach, as Ororo seemed to brace herself. Just how bad was this going to be?

"There was a disturbance at Alkali Lake," Ororo began.

"Late yesterday?" Lili guessed.

Ororo paused. "How did you--"

"It knocked me out."

"You felt it in _Texas_?" Ororo gaped.

"It's why I came back. So what happened? What aren't you telling me?"

Xavier wheeled his chair closer. "I need to know exactly what you felt, Liliana. It's vitally important that--"

Anger sparked with the fear and the urgency and the heat and impatiently Lili pulled her hand from Ororo's. "It's vitally important that you tell me what happened to Scott at that lake," she snapped.

She'd never used that tone of voice with anyone, ever, in her entire life, and she couldn't quite believe she'd used it then with Professor Charles Xavier. Judging by the look on his face, neither could he. But the feelings roiling through her would not be denied.

"Jean had an alternate personality," he snapped back, and as Lili reared back and stood there blinking in shock he leaned sharply towards her and continued. "She called herself Phoenix and manifested because of the blocks I'd put on Jean's power until she could learn to control all of it. But something happened at _that lake_ yesterday after Scott arrived. Now Scott is missing and there's a woman lying in med lab who could be Jean but is far more likely to be Phoenix. Logan and Storm found her at that _damned_ lake. This world has never seen anything so dangerous or so extraordinarily powerful or so _angry_ as Phoenix, Liliana, so please, _tell me what you felt yesterday_."

She stared at him, struggling to breathe under the stunning impact of what he'd just said. But it was--holy God, how was she supposed to deal with _this_? Jean was _alive_? Lili covered her face with her hands and turned blindly away.

_Breathe._ She just had to breathe. One breath at a time, one thought at a time, she could do this. She had to. Nothing the Professor or Ororo had said had changed her utter certainty that Scott needed her. Because now, if what he'd just told her was in any way true, she knew she really had heard Jean telling her to help Scott.

"Liliana," Xavier prompted, his voice a little more controlled, but he was still angry. "What did you feel?"

"Cold," she whispered. "For the first time in my life."

"Cold?" he repeated. "What do you mean?"

Lili dropped her hands and turned back to them. "I was with my family, but all of a sudden I couldn't hear them. Everything went white, then red, the same red as when Scott and I burned together. Then all I could feel was pain, even worse than when that Stryker made you use Cerebro against us. I passed out, and when I woke up again I was cold, Professor. Can you tell I'm burning inside right now? I have to, because if I don't, I'll actually feel _cold_."

His eyes narrowed. "Scott complained of cold," he mused. "I thought it was psychosomatic. But no one else mentioned feeing cold yesterday."

"Wait, please," Lili begged. "Jean is alive?" She needed to hear it again.

"Yes," the Professor answered.

"And she showed up at Alkali Lake at the same time as Scott, but you only found one of them."

"Yes." Ororo this time.

"So Jean might know what happened, where Scott is. Has she said anything?"

"I'm keeping her sedated until I'm sure it really is Jean," the Professor said, distractedly.

"Sedated? But--"

"_Liliana_," he interrupted. "Jean didn't have the strength to affect me and everyone else at this school telepathically yesterday, and Jean certainly couldn't have reached you three thousand miles away. But the part of her that became _Phoenix_ did."

It was hard enough to believe that Jean was still alive--but an alternate personality? And one that was stronger than Jean? "What are you saying, Professor?" Lili asked, eyes narrowing with her growing suspicion. "What exactly do you think happened up there?"

Xavier looked away, and Lili turned to Ororo for the answer.

"We…" She paused, gathered herself, and started again. "We think Phoenix killed Scott, Lili."

"No," Lili said, flatly. Ororo reached for her again, but Lili waved her hand sharply at the other woman. "Are you two out of your minds? There is _no way_ that Jean would allow any part of her--not even some super-being alternate personality--to hurt Scott."

"Then why can't I feel his presence? Anywhere?" Xavier said. He sounded immeasurably sad. And quite certain.

Lili raised her chin. "I don't know, Professor. But if he's not out there somewhere, then why did Jean tell me to help him?"

"What?" he breathed, twisting back to her.

"In the middle of everything yesterday I heard Jean say _help him_. Who else could that possibly mean but Scott?"

"Good heavens," he said softly, the first hint of a true smile touching his face. "If you're right, that could explain a great deal."

Lili glanced at Ororo, but she didn't know what the Professor meant either. Ororo beat her to her next question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Jean is still there _and_ she's struggling for control--with some success, if she could actually speak to Liliana," he replied, but then his face fell again. "Unfortunately, it probably also means that Scott wasn't imagining things when he felt cold or kept dreaming of her."

Wait a minute._ Unfortunately?_

"You think Jean was trying to reach Scott, through his dreams and his feelings?" Ororo clarified. The Professor nodded, rubbing absently at his jaw. "No wonder he couldn't move past her death," Ororo sadly continued. "Not if he was sensing her presence on some level."

"Undoubtedly. I--"

"Yes, undoubtedly," Lili frowned. "But why did you say 'unfortunately,' Professor?"

His jaw tightened. "Because unfortunately I wasted weeks, when I could have been trying to reach and support Jean. Phoenix's strength is the only explanation for Jean's being alive today. But if Jean was trying to reach Scott all that time, then clearly I could have done more to help her assimilate Phoenix--or at the least, contain her again. I just never imagined…"

"Do you hear yourself?" Lili cried out. "Scott needed you, Professor, and _unfortunately_ you let him down. I can't believe you seriously thought he was imagining things. But you gave up on him, didn't you, and you let him leave. _You gave up on him_. And you're completely overlooking him now. _Why?_"

"Lili," Ororo said warningly.

Xavier flushed, and his eyes glittered with real anger, and Lili caught a glimpse of exactly how powerful he was. If she didn't already trust him with her life, she'd have been scared out of her mind. But she'd gone too far to back down now--and she knew she was right. Scott had no one else fighting for him. Except, perhaps, Jean.

"I loved Scott like my own son," he swore, stern and implacable. "I would give my life for him. But Jean Grey at full power is the _most_ powerful mutant ever born. _Nothing_ and _no one_ is more important than ensuring the full strength and breadth of her abilities are under control."

Nothing? No one? Where had she heard… "Oh, my God," Lili murmured. "When you sent us to Nevada, _Jean_ was the other mutant facing problems with her control."

He nodded, tersely.

"I wish you'd told me about Phoenix then, Professor," Ororo said softly, the barest hint of accusation in her voice.

"There was nothing you could have done, Storm."

She turned away, and Lili knew how she felt. Because suddenly it felt like she hadn't slept in weeks. She found the nearest chair and dropped heavily down into it. God, what a _mess_. But did it really matter anymore, what any of them had or hadn't done before? Jean and Scott--_both_ of them--were what mattered now.

"All right, Professor," Lili sighed. "You said the consequences would be horrific if the other mutant failed, and I told you then I understood why you put her first. So I guess I can understand why you're putting her first now. What I don't know is what I should do next."

"There's nothing you can do," he said, almost gently. "Phoenix is my responsibility."

He may have to put this Phoenix first, but she didn't. "What about Scott?"

"Liliana," the Professor sighed, his voice low with that heavy, aching sadness again. "I _cannot_ sense him."

"Then where is all this cold coming from?" she pressed, so frustrated with the entire situation that she was unexpectedly near tears.

Ororo turned back and they both looked at her so kindly, with such… _pity_, that Lili surged to her feet.

"_No_," she roughly denied. "I am _not_ reacting to his death. If Scott was cold all those weeks because he somehow felt Jean's presence, then it is no mean leap to assume I'm feeling his presence now. Have you forgotten we--we _burned_ together, Professor? Is it that unreasonable to assume there may be some kind of connection between us now? And what about Jean's message? If she's struggling for control like you think--if she actually had allowed this Phoenix to kill him--then why would she risk all the effort it must have taken her to get a message, to me of all people, to help _him_, if he isn't still alive out there somewhere?"

She could have sensed their doubts with her eyes closed. But she'd gotten to them both, and Lili knew it. She had to press what little advantage she might have.

"Mutants with power have to make hard choices, Professor--_you_ taught me that my first day here. And Scott taught me that in this family, none of us are alone. He never let me down, no matter what happened, and I can't let him down now."

"I hope you're right about Scott," Xavier admitted heavily. "But even if you are, there isn't much we can do at the moment. As much as I may want to, I can't spend any more time trying to find him--I _must_ focus all of my strength on Jean if we're to have any hope of containing Phoenix."

"She's really that powerful?"

"She truly is."

Lili nodded. "Then leave Scott to me. If he's out there, I'll find him."

The Professor smiled at her, and this time it reached his eyes. He may not believe her, but he would let her make her own decision. "Then if he's out there, he's in good hands."

"I hope so," she breathed. For a moment, even standing there in the middle of the school with the Professor and Ororo, Lili felt alone. Because she wasn't leaning on anyone any more, she realized. They'd come for her that day, they'd offered friendship and helped her find her family, and they'd given her everything she needed to find herself. Now, finally, this was what it felt like to stand on her own two feet. "Thank you for trusting me, Professor. I'm sorry if I offended you before."

"I find lies offensive," he replied, his expression grave. "And prejudice, and hatred. But not honesty, Liliana. Never honesty. Now, do you need anything? Transportation, or--"

"No," Lili said. "I'll take care of it."

"_Be careful_," he warned her "Whatever happens, remember that you cannot think of the woman downstairs as simply Jean. She is Jean _and_ Phoenix, and however much Jean loves Scott, Phoenix has no love in her at all."

"I won't forget."

He leaned back, apparently satisfied. "You'll start at the lake?"

That damned lake. She didn't even know how to swim. And then a whisper of remembered fear shook her. "Professor, those dreams Scott was having--did he ever dream of drowning?"

"Yes," he frowned. "He followed Jean into the water and became caught there. Why?"

"Because I dreamed of drowning, too."

Ororo gasped, and the Professor started, and as they both stared at her, she saw the first flicker of hope in their eyes.

She could be right about Scott.

"I'll start at the lake," she managed, hope flaring high and bright in her, more powerful than the fear for the first time since she'd woken up flat on her back in her mother's yard. Lili raised her hand in silent promise to them as she backed toward the door. "You be careful, too. Scott isn't the only person Jean loves."

She turned and left. But she didn't leave the mansion. Not yet, as much as all of the feelings churning inside her were urging her to _do something_. She had to see this for herself.

She should have known he would be there, standing watch at the side of the table, his strong, muscled back to the door and her and everything else. "Logan?"

He half turned, and she finally saw…

Jean was even more beautiful than Lili remembered. And something about her now filled Lili with stark, icy fear. She stopped in the doorway, unable to make herself take even one more step into the room.

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" he grunted, turning back, blocking her view again, and Lili sucked in a deep breath of air.

"Next to impossible," Lili shakily agreed. "But we're mutants. I carry a fire around inside me, and you're practically indestructible. I don't think the same definition of the word applies to us as to everyone else."

"Maybe you're right," he snorted. "You back for good?"

He wasn't going to believe her, either. "I came to find Scott."

"Lil," he sighed, his shoulders dropping.

"I know," she said. "The Professor told me."

Logan turned all the way around this time and crossed slowly to her. "I'm sorry."

He meant it. Lili smiled calmly up at him as she straightened. "You're a good man, Logan. But you're as wrong about Scott as Ororo and the Professor. He's still alive. I know it."

He shook his head. "That's--"

"Impossible?"

He glanced behind him, and this time the corners of his mouth quirked up in a small smile. "I was going to say unlikely." The little smile didn't last. He reached to his pocket, and what he pulled out was a pair of Scott's glasses. "I found these near Jean."

"That's not Jean," Lili whispered, reaching tentatively to the ruby quartz lenses. She'd seen that color in her mind, and it scared her almost as much as the woman lying on the table. She dropped her hand without touching them. "I have to go."

"Of course that's Jean," he insisted. "I don't care what the Professor says."

"That woman scares me," Lili told him, backing away. "Jean never did. I have to go."

She left him alone with her, trying to hold onto the hope, desperate to keep that fire burning inside her, and spotted Rogue, coming out of the elevator, a cup of coffee in each hand.

"Lili!" Rogue grinned. "I didn't know you were here. I was just coming down to bring Logan some--"

"Rogue," Lili gasped, clutching at her friend's arms. "I have to go. _Now._ You've got to help me."

"All right," Rogue tried to appease her. "Whatever you need. Where are we going?"

"Map room." Lili ran, grateful when Rogue followed.

"All right," Rogue said again, setting the coffee aside, "we're here. Now what are we doing?"

"You've got to show me how to get to Alkali Lake."

"Alkali Lake?" Rogue straightened as if she'd been shot. "But they just came back from there. What's going on?"

"Everyone thinks Scott is dead," Lili said tightly, her hands clenched. "Except me. He's alive and he needs me, Rogue, _I know it_, but I'm the only one who can look away from what's happening with Jean long enough to fight for him. I can't let him down, so please, help me. Show me how to get to Alkali Lake."

"I don't understand," Rogue said, but she powered up the map table and started punching in commands.

"I don't either," Lili confessed, watching the route unfolding on the table. "Not really. I just know I have to go."

Rogue paused. "I guess… Sometimes you just have to do something crazy for the people you care about. No matter what anybody else says."

Lili's gaze flew to Rogue's. "Oh my God. _Rogue_."

She smiled, tentatively. "Marie. At least, it will be by the time you get back."

"You're sure? This isn't just for Bobby--it's for you?"

_Marie_ nodded.

Cold speared through Lili and she shuddered violently, wracked by an urgency so intense she could barely breathe with it.

"What's wrong?" Rogue stared at her.

Lili struggled to speak. "_Hurry_."

Rogue went back to the keyboard, and Lili reached for the heat nearly snuffed out by that icy, piercing wave and brought herself fiercely to power. When she looked at Rogue and the table map again, she saw them through molten, shimmering heat.

"Done," Rogue said. She glanced up and froze. "Wow, I never saw…"

"Thanks," Lili said, the crackle of flames filling her and dancing in her voice, and burned the route into her memory. It was farther than she'd thought, but she could do it. Time to go.

"Wait, Lili," Rogue called, running after her. "How are you getting there? You don't drive."

"No, but I fly," Lili breathed.

Rogue grabbed at her arm and ran around in front of her, holding up her gloved hands. "_Wait_. You don't have clothes or money or a cell phone or anything. And how are you even getting to the airport? I'm only going to Manhattan, and I have a better plan than that."

Even gripped with the awful fear that she had to leave right then and there, Lili had to stop and smile. Having people care about her like this was still so new and precious. "You're a good friend, Rogue."

"Marie," she corrected.

"Not yet," Lili reminded her, and raised her bare hand to Rogue's face.

She jerked back. "You know you can't--"

"I don't care what I'm wearing, I've got a credit card in my pocket, and I don't have a cell phone yet. And when I come back, you won't be able to understand why I had to go or what I meant by flying." Lili raised her hand again. "Let me touch you, Rogue."

Rogue stilled, her eyes searching Lili's. "It's that important to you?"

She had no idea what she was about to literally fly into or what she'd find at Alkali Lake, and even though she knew she was doing the right thing, it was scary to be the only one who thought so. "Please," Lili managed. "I need someone to tell me I'm not crazy."

Rogue gave her a slow, deliberate nod and raised her chin, and Lili smiled in relief and brushed her fingertips light as air across Rogue's cheek.

The motion of her hand ended the contact after only the briefest moment, but Lili felt Rogue's power like a jolt of cold water straight to the heart of her. It broke over her, sucking the heat away in a rush and leaving her empty, while flames flared in Rogue's eyes.

They were gone in an instant, the heat roaring back to life within Lili in the next, heart-stopping moment. But that instant of contact had been long enough.

"My God," Rogue breathed, swallowing hard. "I can't believe that's always inside you."

"Me, either. Even after all this time. So what do you think--am I losing my mind?"

Rogue's gloved hands closed over Lili's bare ones. "Not a chance. Something is definitely going on, and you definitely need to leave. But I'm not letting you go out there without any way to call for help or keep track of what's happening around here with Jean. Come on--we're getting comlinks. I know how to sync them to the same frequency. You can call me whenever you need to, and I'll call you whenever there's news."

Rogue was right. Lili chafed at losing even one more minute, but Rogue was right. They ran, grabbed two of the units from the communications room, and Rogue toyed with them on the way back up in the elevator while Lili paced. By the time the doors finally opened on the school's main hallway Lili was nearly beside herself.

"Done," Rogue announced, sliding one of the units over Lili's ear even as Lili backed out into the hallway. She held the other up to her own ear. "Say something."

"You're the best, Marie," Lili gasped.

Rogue gave her an impish grin and a thumb's up, and Lili wasted no more time. She whirled, firing up the heat within her, and bolted for the front entrance. She knew, as she hit the pavement and launched herself into the air, that Rogue had followed her outside to watch, and that somehow, that mind-grabbing moment they'd shared through Rogue's power allowed her to feel an echo of what Lili felt then in flight. It made her feel a little less alone in this quest of hers.

_Please, help him_.

Jean, sounding even more desperate than before.

Maybe she wasn't as alone in this as she thought. Lili poured on the heat and blasted higher with the flames.

X3 Nine

He lay still in the silence, blanketed by the icy whiteness, each moment stretching endlessly into the next.

Slowly, gradually, the frigid wind rushing over him reached down into him and brought him another word. _Waiting_.

He was waiting.

That one flake of knowledge became his entire focus. He breathed it, shivered with it, dreamt of it. There was nothing else but waiting.

It became everything. It grew until it was everywhere. Endlessly.

Simply, wholly, waiting.

Until one moment slipped into the next and the waiting changed. He rose up, blinking at something in the distance. It wasn't cold, and it wasn't white, and it wasn't waiting. Except that was all he knew. That was all he was. He reached through the cold for a word, for meaning, but it offered none.

So he lay back down, watching this new thing as it grew, and he waited.

X3 Ten

So that was Alkali Lake. _Pretty_, Lili thought, and wearily sent herself into a spiraling descent. She touched down on the rocky shore, stumbling a bit to feel solid ground under her feet after all those hours in the air, and finally took a look around at the place where so many, human and mutant alike, had been hurt.

She'd never heard that kind of silence before. Nothing intruded on it--no traffic, no radio or television, no people. And yet, the silence was far from empty. In fact, it was rich with the moaning wind and rustling leaves, with the occasional birdsong or beating wings and the gentle, rhythmic slap of water against the rocks.

The air was different, too. Brisk, fresh. Clean. The scent of pine mixed heavily with the earthy smells of wet, sandy soil and the crisp tang of snow. Lili took a deep breath, allowing that much of the cold to penetrate the slowly rolling flames she still held deep within.

Alkali Lake was unexpectedly soothing, considering everything that had happened there. The peaceful silence and mountain air actually even helped, clearing her head of the intricacies of flying and her route and bringing her back to the one, burning reason she'd nearly exhausted herself, flying for hours and hours and hundreds of miles… finding Scott.

So how was she going to do this, now that she was finally there?

Lili paced slowly to the water's edge, the brand new cowboy boots her mother had given her sinking into the soil. She was a little too tired to just start walking, and there was far too much ground to cover anyway. No, she had to be smart about his. Lili spotted a rocky outcropping that looked like the perfect place to survey most of the area and perhaps give her the inspiration she was looking for. And that far, at least, she could walk to. It would even feel good to work her legs.

The steepness of the last part of the path to the outcropping was her first hint that Alkali Lake could, indeed, hold some unpleasant surprizes. Then she reached the top, glanced around as she brushed her hands off, and froze in shock at the sight of Scott's motorcycle.

Right. They'd traced it to the lake. But Logan and Ororo hadn't brought it back with them? They couldn't have missed it, not with its beacon broadcasting its exact location to the jet's systems. Had they been too worried about Jean to stop long enough to load the bike up, or had they thought it best to leave it there, just in case they were wrong about Scott?

Lili crossed to the machine. Standing there next to it, she scanned every inch of the forest in sight, turning to do the same with the lake, what little remained visible of the dam's facilities, the distant shore, even the mountains, and back around to the forest. But there was no sign of Scott, no indication of where he'd gone. She reached out, running her hands along the bike's cold, smooth lines, somehow relieved to find even that much of him, praying that it wouldn't be the only thing. His bag was still secured to the back. Her hands settled lightly on the rough canvas. One more bit of proof that he'd been there, but as little help as the bike in telling her where he'd gone.

"Where are you, Scott?" she whispered.

Nothing and no one answered. Alkali Lake wasn't interested in giving up its secrets.

And she wasn't interested in going home empty handed. Lili stalked to the center of the outcropping, closed her eyes, and focused on the heat within. If she was right, then everything that had happened when she and Scott had burned together in Nevada had forged some kind of bond between them. Maybe the heat could lead her to him now. This was seriously going to cost her, after all that time in the air, but it was her best bet.

Slowly, meticulously, Lili coaxed the heat back up to a blazing inferno. She gathered it, she shaped it, and then she sent it from her in gentle, rolling waves that seeped into rocks and branches, that skipped over water and snow and warmed the air and brushed delicately against pine needles. Each rushing wave stretched farther and farther, and each dancing tendril of heat reached back to tell her of its passage through the length and breadth of Alkali Lake.

Until the heat skimmed across an icy void that had nothing to do with the snow on the ground.

Her heart pounding, Lili focused, got her bearings, and then drew all of the heat back into her. She was going to need it. That pocket of cold was several miles away to the north, deep in the forest, and unless she felt like wasting a great deal of time to walk to it, she was headed back into the air.

But what would she find when she got there? If Scott was somehow wrapped up in that cold, what kind of shape would he be in? _And Logan had his glasses_. Holding the heat steady, she hurried back to Scott's bag and rifled through it. Clothes, more clothes--and settled there at the bottom, another pair of glasses and his visor. She zipped the bag shut, unclipped it from the bike, and held it to her as she forced the heat higher in a searing rush that carried her skyward.

It didn't take her long to get there, but the trees were so thick she couldn't see through them to land. Lili circled, finally found an opening, and plummeted. She reached with the heat as she landed, homing in, and even though everything in her screamed at her to run, she remembered the Professor's warning and instead approached as quietly and as cautiously as she could.

_And there he was_, lying curled up on his side at the base of a massive pine, looking for all the world as if he was simply taking a nap. Except this was Scott Summers, lying on a bed of pine needles and snow in the middle of nowhere, his face naked to the wind. And everyone but her thought he was dead. Tears blurring her vision, Lili stumbled the last few feet and collapsed to her knees at his side.

After everything, she was suddenly afraid to touch him, afraid to disturb whatever illusion or capricious bit of magic might have laid him there. Lili sighed and tried to shake off the absurd thought. There was a real reason to be cautious, with his eyes uncovered like that. If he woke startled, confused, and that notorious control failed him… Lili tore through his bag and came up with the visor first. Carefully, her hands trembling, she slid it on as she'd seen Jean do that time in the lab.

He didn't respond to her touch. In fact, he didn't respond at all as she convulsively ran her hands over him to search for any injuries. He had three layers of clothes on--four, if she counted the jacket--but was cold as ice and barely breathing. And… _she couldn't see his power_, couldn't see much of any heat within him at all. Tentatively Lili pressed her hand to his chest and sent a gentle pulse of heat into his body. When nothing happened she sent another, and another, over and over. Warming him, raising his body's core temperature with the utmost care, her awareness sinking deeper and deeper into his body with the heat. _There_, finally, hidden so far within him that she nearly missed it, lay a tiny, fluttering crimson spark.

What the hell was going on? Lili opened her eyes and stared down at Scott's face, flushing with the first hints of the warmth she was so cautiously pouring into him. He didn't look peaceful, he looked… shattered. Whatever he'd endured--whatever had left him lying cold and unresponsive miles away from his bike, with his powers nearly dormant within him--the cost had clearly been high.

But how to wake him? She had him almost back up to normal body temperature, but his power wasn't returning to normal with the warming of his body, and he didn't seem in any rush to wake up. Could she reach him through the heat? Maybe if…

What was that? A sort of an itch, in her mind, as if the Professor was trying to speak to her telepathically. Only it felt _wrong_ somehow. And it was getting worse. Fear pulled her hand from Scott and spun her around, shielding him as her eyes darted around the forest floor. No one was there. But the itch became a burning that doubled her over, hands pressed to her temples. Lili tried to stir the heat inside her, tried to raise a fiery wall against this intrusion, but she'd flown too far, given too much to Scott, and when the burning in her mind exploded in a searing rush the pain dropped her bonelessly face first into the snow.

_Protect him_.

Darkness threatened, echoes of pain shivering down her body, but Lili clung to consciousness with the last of her strength and managed to twist her face far enough out of the snow that she could breathe. She'd never felt Jean's presence in her mind before she'd died at this very lake, but Lili no longer had any doubt that Jean Grey had now spoken to her three times. She didn't know how, and she wasn't sure why, but that had definitely been message number three. So what the hell was going on now? Maybe she should check in with Rogue.

Damn. She'd just put the comlink into the snow with her ear. Lili dragged both hands up beneath her shoulders and pushed until she was back up on hands and knees. Was telepathic communication supposed to _hurt_ like this? Balancing carefully, she raised her right hand to her ear and keyed the comlink.

Rogue answered on the first beep. _"Lili?"_

"It's me," Lili managed. "Did… Did _something _just happen?"

_"You felt it too, huh? Like a week-long migraine packed into a second?"_

"That would be it," Lili sighed. "Any idea what that was?"

_"My guess, something happened with Phoenix. That felt a lot like when Logan was thinking Jean, well, came back to life at the lake. Lili, she woke up and ran off right after you left. Logan, Storm, and the Professor went after her. I tried to reach you before to let you know, but you must have been, uh, flying."_

"Great," Lili muttered, shifting wearily to sit facing Scott. The most powerful mutant ever born was on the loose… and part of her was sending messages to Lili. The first time, when Jean had "come back to life"? The second--had that been when she'd awakened in med lab? And now… What had happened now? "Maybe you should check in with Storm."

_"Already tried, but no one answered. I doubt any of them were near the car. Everybody seems all right so far at this end, though. Just a couple of headaches. How about you? I hope you were on the ground when that hit."_

"I was."

_"So? Any sign of Scott?"_

She was staring straight at him, with Jean's mandate to protect him still echoing in every fiber of her mind and body. But--protect him from what? Nothing had threatened him before he'd left but grief. Maybe, then, from _whom_? Except Magneto had no reason to specifically target Scott, and neither did any of the other mutants that Storm had briefed her on before she'd left the school. Certainly the Professor and Storm would never hurt him, not even Logan, no one with anything whatsoever to do with the school would ever…

"Oh, God," Lili whispered, closing her eyes. "I think I know what she wants me to do."

_"Who are we talking about? And what does this have to do with looking for Scott?"_

"We're talking about Jean, and it has everything to do with Scott." Lili opened her eyes. Scott Summers still lay as if sleeping, right there in front of her. "Because I found him."

_"Oh, my God, Lili,"_ Rogue practically shouted. _"Is he all right? What--"_

"Rogue, stop--wait--you can't tell anyone he's alive," Lili cut her off. "Not if I've got this right."

_"But they're all walking around thinking he's dead. I can't let them keep thinking that."_

"You can't say a word," Lili insisted. "Not even to the Professor. Rogue, listen to me. I've heard Jean in my head three times. The first two times she told me--she _begged_ me--to help Scott. So I went looking for him, and here he is. Only he's not waking up, and I can barely feel his power. It's like it's in remission or something. And just now, I heard Jean again--only this time she said to protect him, Rogue. _Protect him_. It's not hard to understand why, he's completely helpless right now. But there's only one person I can think of who might be a danger to him--and that's _Phoenix_."

_"But--Phoenix and Jean are the same person, and Jean would _never _hurt Scott."_

"That's what I said, too," Lili sadly agreed. "But now I'm not so sure. Look, whenever Phoenix does something big, we all feel it, and I hear Jean. I think she's sneaking a message to me when Phoenix is preoccupied, which makes me think that Phoenix doesn't know Scott's alive, but Jean does--and she's trying to keep it that way. So you can't say anything to anyone, Rogue. You _can't_. Because if anyone knows for sure that Jean somehow did manage to save him and they wind up in a fight with Phoenix, _Phoenix _may find out, and then there won't be anything I'll be able to do to protect him. I'm no match for 'the most powerful mutant ever born.'"

_"This is just… so unreal, Lili."_

"I know," Lili sighed. She couldn't risk telling the people who loved Scott that he was all right, and she didn't dare tell Scott when he woke that the woman he loved was alive, because the other half of her might be trying to kill him. _What next?_ Lili reached out and brushed the back of her hand gently across Scott's forehead. He finally felt warm. Even warmer than she did.

_And he sighed, turning his face as if to follow her touch._

"Promise me, Rogue," Lili gasped. "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

_"I don't like this, but… I promise."_

"And you'll find out what happened and call me?"

_"As soon as I can."_

"Thanks. I've got to go."

_"Wait, what are y--"_

She shut off the comlink, pulled it from her ear, and shoved it into her pocket. And Scott Summers opened his eyes.

X3 Eleven

He was warm, for what felt like the first time in forever, even though he could see snow on the ground and his breath in the air, even though he didn't remember why he'd been cold for so long in the first place. He was just happy to be warm again. Except that was pretty much it. He had no idea where he was, or who she was, why she was looking at him like that or what they were doing in the middle of a forest or… or… He pushed himself up, his back against the tree, reaching frantically in his mind for that one word, just that one little word. _What was his_--

"Scott?" she whispered.

_Oh thank God_--_that was it!_ He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. His name was _Scott_. He didn't exactly _remember_ it, but… it felt right. He nodded at her, even managed a grateful little smile. Now all he had to do was figure out who she was, and he'd be just fine. And why the hell was everything red?

"Oh, my God," she softly laughed, but he heard the sob in her voice and saw the tears spilling down her cheeks.

At least, he thought they were tears. He frowned and reached to rub at his eyes, fumbling when he touched some sort of glasses, and tried to pull the oddly familiar device from his face.

"_No_," she barely breathed, but she moved _fast_, her cold hands covering his and keeping the device in place. He stilled, watching her, wondering why he wasn't supposed to take the thing off.

"Sorry," she flushed, snatching her hands back. "I just thought--" Half turning, she grabbed at a bag he hadn't noticed before, rummaging through it until she came up with a pair of glasses that he somehow knew were also red.

"I found your bike," she shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes as she offered the glasses to him, and Scott finally let his hands fall from where she'd pressed them to whatever it was that covered his eyes. But he didn't reach for the glasses.

She knew what was going on. She knew his name, who he was, why his vision was red. She probably knew what they were doing there and why he'd been asleep on the ground under a massive pine. But he didn't know a thing, not even her name, much less why the sight of him was making her cry. Or… why he _trusted_ her. She would help him. He knew that, suddenly, as he knew nothing else. He reached for her hand, questions crowding his head.

"Your hand is cold," he said instead, frowning down at the pale, chilled fingers in his. Somehow, that was important. And very, very _wrong_.

"I--well--it's been a long day," she stammered, and would have pulled her hand back.

He held on, staring at her as he took the glasses from her and tossed them back to the bag and then rubbed her hand gently between both of his. He wasn't willing to let go, and he didn't know why. He didn't know anything. _But she could tell him._ His hands closed tightly over hers.

"I need you to tell me your name," he blurted, his voice rough with sudden, biting fear.

Her jaw dropped as she stilled. "You don't remember me?"

"I don't remember _anything_," he hoarsely confessed.

"Not a thing?" she breathed, her eyes going wide with shock and horror.

Scott shook his head. "The only thing I know for sure is that everything starts with you. I didn't even know my name until you said it. So maybe if you tell me yours…"

She took a deep breath, gathering herself, and tried to smile at him. "It's Liliana."

Liliana. He frowned at her, at _Liliana_, his gaze raking over the long dark hair, pulled carelessly into a ponytail, the shirt that was far too thin for the cold, the brand new jeans and the boots on her small feet. Liliana. He brought his eyes back up to hers, to the concern filling them now and keeping her breath short and slowly stealing the smile from her lips. Because that wasn't quite right…

"You usually call me Lili," she softly added. And _that_ clicked.

"_Lili_," he nearly sobbed with relief, and pulled her into his arms. "That's right," he babbled. "That's what I call you. You're Lili." It was just one little word, just one little fact when he still had so many other questions, but it was _right_ and that made him feel like everything else would be all right, too, even if he only figured it out just one little word at a time.

"Welcome back," she said into his chest, and she really _was_ crying.

And shivering. "God, you're so cold," he shivered with her, and set her back from him to pull his jacket off and throw it around her shoulders. "Why aren't you wearing a coat?"

"It's not usually a problem," she sniffed, burrowing into the jacket. "And I left in kind of a hurry."

"Why?" After her name, that was as good a place to start as any.

Lili wiped at her cheeks. "I was worried about you."

What had she said earlier? She'd found his bike, and apparently his bag, and now… had she just found him? "You came to find me?"

Lili nodded.

"What was I doing here?" he pressed. And then he couldn't take it slowly any more. "And where the hell is _here_? Why did I leave you behind? How long have I been gone? And from _where_? Why can't I remember any of this? And what's the deal with these weird glasses that you don't want me to take off? Everything's red and I keep thinking if I can just _see_ clearly, just for a second, I'll--"

Her fingertips settled light as air against his lips, and when he finally took a deep breath she took his face gently in her hands. "I wish I had all those answers, Scott. Since the day I met you, you've _never_ let me down, no matter what, and I wish with all my heart I knew how to make things right for you now."

"Why can't you?" he shuddered, clasping her shoulders. "Please, just tell me who I am and… and you've got to tell me _everything_!"

"I will," she soothed, smoothing one hand back over his hair. "I promise. I'll tell you every last thing I know, all of it, over and over, until you remember it for yourself. You just need to promise me that whatever you do, you won't take the visor off. Not waking, not sleeping, not at all, unless I'm there and I say it's all right. And if it comes off for any reason, you've got to close your eyes _immediately_."

"I don't remember why," he admitted rawly.

"I know," she said, sadly, dropping both hands and crossing her arms as she shivered again. "So let's start there. Scott, you and I aren't exactly normal. Do you remember about mutations?"

The word rang a couple of bells, but they were distant, the sounds soft and unclear, and Scott shook his head. "I know what they are, but not what they have to do with you and me."

She held out her hand, and he blinked in astonishment as a tiny flame sprang to life in her palm. "My mutation allows me to create and control fire," she said softly. Lili closed her hand on the little flame, snuffing it out, but not before he'd seen the fine trembling in her fingers. Something was wrong. He didn't know what, but something was definitely wrong. Except this was important, too. And it had to do with the visor.

"Are you telling me I have one, too?"

"Your mutation somehow creates an incredibly powerful current of energy inside you that shoots from your eyes and can only be controlled by that visor."

The bells rang a lot louder this time with her amazing, unbelievable words. But they still weren't clear enough to tell him… "Scott isn't my only name, is it?"

Lili shook her head. "You're also called Cyclops."

_Cyclops_. That was right, too. So right that he closed his eyes and turned away with the raw emotion surging through him. _Yes_. He was Scott, and he was Cyclops. Everything he was in the entire world was wrapped up in those two words. But as better as knowing that made him feel…

"I know that's right, but I still don't remember anything," he told her, turning back to her. He caught her watching him, worried and hopeful all at once--and in the middle of a shiver so hard that he couldn't ignore it any more. His questions would have to wait, because he wouldn't learn a thing if the only person with the answers froze to death. Scott pulled her back to him, tucked her against his side, and started rubbing at her back and arms. "Never mind. Just tell me now why you're so cold if you can control fire."

"We all have our limits, Scott," she sighed. "I've just… done a little too much today, that's all."

"Done too much?" he frowned. "What, you've started too many fires?"

She laughed, but it was a weary sound. "Something like that. My mutation isn't just about fires, Scott, it's about heat, and I guess I can only generate so much."

He paused. "When I woke up, I felt warm. Was that from you?"

"You were so cold you were barely breathing," Lili shrugged. Only the motion turned into a shaking that this time, didn't stop. "How do you people live with this?" she gasped.

"We dress for the weather and we stay indoors when it's this cold," he replied, standing and hauling her to her feet. "Which way?"

Lili shook her head. "The closest structure for at least twenty miles is what's left of the dam's facilities, but most of that complex is under water. Wait--is this what it feels like when your teeth are chattering?"

Dam? Scott didn't like the sound of _that_ particular bell, and wasn't all that keen to go there and find out why. With the way Lili looked and sounded, he didn't have the time to think about it anyway. So, if there was no shelter within walking distance… "Then where's this bike of mine?"

"Three or four miles that way." She pointed with her chin past his right shoulder.

Three or four _miles_? What the hell had he been-- _Later_. Right now he needed to worry about Lili. Walking would help warm her up, but she looked exhausted and he wanted to give her time to rest and see if he could get her warmer before they started.

"Lili." He took her by the shoulders and waited for her to look up at him. "If I gather some firewood, can you start it burning?"

She nodded. At least, he thought it was a nod, and not another shiver.

"If there are any other sweaters or shirts in that bag, put them on. I won't be long."

He was back with as big a bundle of deadwood as he could carry in what he thought might be record time, if he could remember anything at all. Lili was sitting curled up against the tree trunk where he'd been, eyes closed, trembling with cold despite the extra layer or two he could tell she'd added, and looking so miserable that he dropped the wood in the pine needles next to her and reached for her. "Lili?"

"S-Scott?" she blinked at him, dazed. _Damn it_, whatever she'd done today to get to him and warm him had completely worn her out. They weren't going anywhere until she'd gotten some sleep. Except wasn't that dangerous in this kind of cold? He'd have to wake her every so often.

He rubbed gently at her cheek. "Just stay awake for another minute, all right? You need to help me get this fire started. Lili? Did you hear me?"

She blinked again, and this time he saw sense in her eyes. "I--hear you," she whispered.

He swiftly cleared a fire pit a few feet from the tree and stacked the first pile of wood, grateful that whatever else he'd forgotten, at least he remembered how to do this. "All right, Lili," he said, easing her into his arms. "Let's get you warm again."

He shifted to sit next to the fire pit, leaving Lili in his lap so she wasn't on the bitterly cold ground. "Lili?"

She shook her head, her teeth chattering so hard she couldn't speak, and simply reached toward the wood. For a long moment nothing happened, until with a _whoosh_ of heat the wood finally burst into flames. But he didn't have the chance to be amazed for long. Lili's eyes rolled up into her head and she went limp in his arms. Mouth drawn into a thin line with concern, Scott gently turned her into him, pressing her face to the relative warmth of the crook of his neck and tucking her icy hands under his sweater.

He had thousands of questions, and right now, nothing but time to consider them. Because right now, nothing mattered except getting Lili rested and warm enough to get out of this forest. It was the only place he specifically remembered being, but he'd leave it in a heartbeat if it meant he was on his way back to his memory. To his _life_. But whatever had brought him to the middle of a frozen nowhere alone, he wasn't leaving it without Lili. He still didn't know how or why, but she'd come to get him. Even if she didn't have all the answers, somehow he trusted her, and he definitely owed her, and if he'd never let her down before, he sure as hell wasn't about to start now.

So he kept the fire stoked, he rubbed at her arms and legs, he shifted her from side to side in his arms and roused her every so often and even took her barrette off so he could tuck her hair around her exposed ears. She was all he had, and he would take no chances.

And as the hours stretched into afternoon and Lili slowly started to feel warmer in his arms, he wondered. About her, who she was and how they knew each other and what had made her follow him to this place. About himself. About where he'd come from, what kind of man he was, what kind of _mutant_ he apparently was, and what could have brought him to this point. Did he have family? Who were his friends? But mostly, he wondered about the strange emptiness he felt inside. Because it wasn't just the gaping hole that should have been his memory that left him feeling… _hollow_. He tried to blame it on the cold, on not knowing when he'd last eaten, but neither of those reasons sounded right. So much was missing inside him, and it left him restless with wanting to know and understand.

Still, he held off truly waking Lili, giving her as long as he dared to recuperate. But there would only be so much daylight, and they'd need to be somewhere indoors before darkness fell. He had no idea where they were or what time of the year it was, so he couldn't count on daylight lasting all that long. He'd wake her around three, right around the time he added the last bit of wood to the fire, he finally decided, glancing at his watch. That would give her another twenty minutes.

Except five minutes later, a beeping startled him. By the time he realized the sound was coming from something in Lili's pocket, she was half awake and reaching for it. Blinking tiredly, Lili slid the device over her ear and let her head fall back to his shoulder as she sighed.

"Rogue?"

And just who or what might that be?

"He's fine. Actually," Lili smiled, "he's in better shape than I am right now."

Was she talking about him? Because Scott wouldn't have said he was in better shape than anyone or anything.

"I'm all right, just tired. It took more out of me to get here than I'd expected."

From where to where? He had no idea--about either location. And had she walked, or… what?

"No, we're still at the lake. We should probably get going soon if we're going to get some dinner and find a place to stay tonight."

Assuming, Scott realized, that she'd meant a motorcycle when she'd mentioned his bike and that he remembered how to ride. Hmm. Throttle, gear shift, brake… Huh. How could he remember something like that, but not what _his_ bike looked like?

Lili yawned. "I hadn't really thought past just finding him, Rogue. Why? Have you heard from the Professor?"

The Professor? That rang a few more bells, but he couldn't quite…

And then she stiffened, and Scott glanced down at her as she slowly sat up, her face as pale as the snow and her wide eyes welling with tears. "No," she moaned, her hand fisting in his sweater as she bent over as if in pain. "Oh, no--you can't mean that."

He didn't like this. He didn't like the agony in her voice and her eyes or the tension now gripping her. Even worse, he had no clue what any of it meant. Scott smoothed his hand over her fist.

"I don't know," Lili said roughly, shaking her head. "Maybe, but no one saw what happened to Scott, and he doesn't remember, and all I've got is a theory. Look, Rogue, after everything that's happened in the last couple of days I'd be the last person to tell you to give up hope, but… _My God_."

For a long moment there was nothing but the sound of the fire crackling in front of them, and the wind rustling through the trees all around, and the bitterly sharp feel of absolute emptiness inside him as he struggled to remember _anything_ that might help him understand what was happening and what this woman in his arms was talking about.

"_No_," Lili straightened, and now there was nothing but ferocity in her. "Not a word, Rogue--_you promised_. Because there's nothing that either of us can do against her, not if she'd go _that_ far and certainly not in the shape we're in now. Storm and Logan might risk Scott--they have other priorities, others to put first--but _I won't_. They can't know yet, Rogue. They _can't_."

Risk him? Against what--or was that against _whom_? There was so much happening, too much that he didn't understand. His stomach did a slow roll.

"Thank you." Lili took a deep breath, calming herself, her grip on his sweater easing. "Me, too. Just… we'll check in again tomorrow, all right? And Rogue? Stay safe."

The conversation ended with those two whispered words, but Scott knew that was the only thing that was over. "What's going on?"

"Too much," she sighed, her gaze searching his, "and I have no idea how much of it I should tell you."

"You promised everything," he reminded her, hearing the pleading in his own voice.

"I know. But…" Lili looked down, her gaze coming to rest on where he still pressed her hand to his chest. "A lot of this will hurt you, Scott."

"Knowing can't be worse than this emptiness inside me."

"But it can." When her eyes met his this time, the darkness there shook him. "Because I can put a name to that emptiness. And then I can fill it with the kind of loss that will change everything."

She was leaving it up to him. Except he didn't really have a choice. "It's my life. I want it back, Lili--all of it. I need to know."

"I understand," she softly replied. "All right then. The short version is that when I met you a couple of months ago, you were living and working at a school, helping young mutants learn control and the responsible use of their powers. You were strong, and powerful, and so kind and generous to me, and you had the woman you loved at your side."

The woman he loved? His breath shortened. Surely he'd remember the woman he loved.

"Her name was Jean," Lili said, gently, waiting. But Scott shook his head, his jaw tightening against a swell of pain, because he didn't remember Jean and he didn't like the way Lili was using the past tense and the emptiness inside him was beginning to burn in his chest.

"What happened?" he pressed.

"Soldiers came. They meant to destroy all of us, but you and Jean and some of the others stopped them. Only, things got pretty bad, and to get the rest of you to safety, Jean chose to sacrifice herself. She…"

Oh, God. Scott closed his eyes, the emptiness inside him now echoing with the name of a woman he didn't remember. "She died, didn't she?" he said thickly.

"I'm so sorry, Scott," Lili murmured. "But, yes, she did. It happened not far from where we are now."

His chest tightened in an aching rush and icy darkness broke over him and he couldn't breathe--he was lost and drowning in a cold so intense it burned--and Scott opened his eyes and clawed desperately at his only lifeline, at the only person he knew. "_Why can't I remember?_"

Lili pressed her hands to his face, holding his gaze to hers, somehow keeping him from breaking into a thousand pieces. "I don't know what happened to you here, Scott. All I can tell you is that I _believe_ you came back to try to come to terms with what happened to Jean but instead, a mutant called Phoenix hurt you. I'm not exactly sure how you even survived it, especially not now that I know more of what she's capable of."

"But why would this Phoenix hurt _me_?"

"Because Jean loved you," Lili said, her voice heavy with emotions he didn't understand. "And because all Phoenix apparently knows is rage and destruction."

"That doesn't make sense, Lili," Scott protested. "And it doesn't explain why I can't remember _any_ of this!"

"Oh, Scott," she sighed. "I can't tell you what I don't know. But I promise you, we _will_ figure everything out. Right now, though, we need to get out of here. I don't think either one of us will survive too much more of this cold. So we need to walk back to the bike, get to the highway, and find a place to stay for tonight."

He was clenching her arms so tightly he had to be hurting her, had to be leaving marks, but she didn't make a single sound or gesture of pain. Instead she simply sat in his lap and held his face and stared up at him, and he felt the truth in her and soaked in some of her calm and finally realized that it didn't matter how desperately he wanted to know all of the facts of his life right that very second. Lili didn't know all of them, only he did, and it was going to take time to dig them out of himself. And that much time was one thing they didn't really have just then.

"You're right," he said, forcing himself to release her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked, gently, smoothing her hands to his shoulders.

"If I hurt you."

"You didn't, Scott. Honestly." She pressed her cheek lightly to his. "Okay?"

He took that small bit of comfort and held on. "Okay," he nodded, and Lili sat back and shifted to get her feet under her to stand. But there was one thing he wanted to know now. And this much, she would definitely be able to tell him. Scott laid his hand on her knee, this time keeping his touch light. "Lili, why did you come after me?"

In the middle of the cold and the forest and the emptiness, her smile was a light and a warmth that took that jagged edge off and reminded him he wasn't alone. "You came after me once. How could I do anything less for the best friend I've ever had?"

Her best friend? He was Scott, and a mutant called Cyclops, and he'd loved someone named Jean. And now he was someone's best friend. It didn't seem like much, but it was everything he had. Somehow, though, for that moment at least, it was enough.

X3 Twelve

A styrofoam cup of coffee in each hand, Lili used her hip to push open the door of the diner and stepped gratefully into warm sunshine. She'd spent far too much time afraid that she'd never be warm again over the last day or so. But a full night's sleep in a bed piled high with blankets had done wonders, and now that the heat was back to normal inside her and they were a solid hour away from Alkali Lake, she and Scott were hopefully both done with the cold.

And not a moment too soon. _Good God,_ what would happen now if the Professor was truly dead? It was difficult to imagine anyone more powerful than him, that he could be _gone_, even harder to believe that a part of _Jean_ could be so… murderous. But however much she wanted to believe otherwise, apparently there were depths to Jean Grey that not even the Professor had understood until it was too late.

Sighing heavily, Lili turned and headed slowly across the parking lot to the adjoining motel. She had no idea what to do next. No idea where to go, what to think, not even the first clue what--and what not--to say to Scott. _Protect him_, Jean had said. But how was she supposed to do that?

At any other time Scott's place would be leading the X-Men, no matter how overwhelming the opponent's abilities or how afraid Lili might be for him, especially with the Professor's… absence. But this wasn't any other time. Scott couldn't remember anything--not his training, not his power, not even how deeply he loved Jean. Without any of his experience he'd be a liability in a fight. And even if he did remember--or if she told him everything--his powers hadn't returned to normal, as hers had. Whatever had happened to him was not a result of fatigue. As far as she could tell, nothing was happening behind that visor. She was only insisting he wear it as a precaution. That made him even worse than a liability. That made him helpless.

How she wished she could take him to Jean to heal his body, and to the Professor to heal his mind. That she could take him _home_. But she couldn't bring him to Jean without serving him up to Phoenix--and apparently Magneto now, too--on a platter, and just because Jean may have saved him from Phoenix once didn't mean she could do it again. And while Lili had been certain that Scott had survived that first encounter, she had no connection to the Professor and felt no such thing now. She was only holding out hope that he wasn't dead because if Jean had loved Scott enough to save him somehow, then surely she'd loved the Professor enough to try to do the same. As for taking Scott home… He'd once said the school would always be his home, but he'd already left his place there once, because Jean had been gone. Could he go back, knowing now that neither she nor the Professor would be there? A lot of other people loved him, and would be ecstatic to know he was alive. But they hadn't been enough for him before--and they hadn't _done_ enough, hadn't put him first, when he'd needed them the most.

So where did that leave her?

At a motel in Canada, she thought ruefully, approaching the door to their room. With little more than a credit card and the clothes on her back. But she hadn't needed more than that to find Scott. It would have to be enough now, whatever they decided to do next. Lili balanced both coffees carefully in one hand and let herself in. She'd left Scott sleeping, but now both beds were empty. In fact, the whole room was. But the bike was still outside, and the note she'd left on the night table for Scott was gone.

She let the door shut behind her. "Scott?"

"I'm here," he said, and walked out of the bathroom, his jaw clean shaven, his hair neatly combed, the visor firmly in place across his eyes, only one fresh t-shirt on over his jeans, instead of the three layers she'd found him in. To anyone else he would look like he was back to normal, back to being his sharp, controlled, powerful self. But Lili saw the slow, tentative way he moved, as if he hadn't gotten enough sleep, or wasn't really comfortable any more in his own skin. And if she looked at him through the heat within her, she knew she'd only see that last, small spark of his power. He had a long way to go, to get back to normal. If he ever could now.

"Good morning," she smiled, offering him one of the coffees. "Milk, no sugar."

"That's how I take my coffee?"

Lili nodded as took the cup from her, then sat on the long, low dresser and popped the lid off her own steaming cup. "The first time we traveled together we left pretty late in the day. So the next morning you took me out to this restaurant with this huge breakfast buffet. You introduced me to coffee, which is why I drink mine the same way you do, and we discovered that neither of us eats much of anything in the morning. I think we both had toast that day."

Scott grunted, sitting on the edge of his bed and absently setting the coffee on the night table. "Where were we going?"

"Death Valley. We were trying an experiment, to see if I could use my powers to help you learn control over yours, but it didn't work."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Everything you tell me feels somehow right, but I don't actually _remember_ any of it, and I wind up with even more questions. Even that bit about the coffee--you never had coffee before?"

"Max never allowed it," she softly replied, "but you don't remember Max, do you?"

"No," Scott said, pushing to his feet and beginning to pace. "Who is hell is _he_?"

He was getting frustrated, and would need some answers, now that they were both rested and feeling better and had some time. But answers about herself had become a lot easier to give. Especially to him. Lili settled back against the wall and set her coffee aside. "Max is the man who stole me from my mother when I was six."

He whirled to face her again, his eyebrows raised and his eyes wide with shock.

"I'd wandered away from my mother and gotten scared, and he saw me make something burn. So he took me, and then he used me to make him a lot of money. I spent the next fourteen years with Max, performing a pyrotechnics act in circus after circus, always completely under his control. I was his prized possession. I had no friends, _nothing_ of my own, I didn't even eat what I wanted. Until the day you came to get me."

"I did?" he murmured.

"You came to see if I was all right with Max, if I was being treated well and I wanted to be there. You didn't know he'd kidnapped me. Or that he had taken me that day to a warehouse to try to force me to…" Even now, even with Scott, she still had a hard time talking about that day. Lili cleared her throat and stared down at her hands. "… to burn two people. When I refused, he beat me pretty badly. I was so scared, and I got so mad, and it was like I just exploded. You literally walked through fire to get to me and take me out of there."

"My God," he breathed.

"You gave me my life back, Scott," Lili said, simply, and raised her eyes to his. "You opened up the entire world to me, and you gave me the guidance and the support I needed to find my way in it. I can't imagine what not remembering who you are must feel like, and there are a lot of things I'm still figuring out for myself, but I want you to know, I'll do whatever I have to do to get you back to _your_ life."

"I know that," he said tightly. "But it's one of the only things I know."

"Then ask me," Lili gently offered. "If I can, I'll tell you."

"I need to know who I am," Scott said, his voice brittle and low and fierce and his entire body now tense with need as he crossed back to her. "I look at myself in the mirror and it's this stranger staring back at me. I remember how to shave, but not whether I do or not. I've got this bag full of clothing that all fits, but I don't remember why I like any of it. Did you know there are over a hundred contacts programmed into my phone? And I don't remember any of them--_not one_. And nothing feels right inside of me, Lili. I feel _hollow_, like this shell that's supposed to be full of memories and… _something else_, but I haven't the vaguest idea what's missing. Maybe you can tell me how often I shave, and maybe you could even tell me who every last person in that list of contacts is, but I won't actually remember any of it and I'll still be standing here wondering why _nothing_ feels right inside of me."

"Well…" Lili hesitated.

"What?" he homed in on her like a hawk.

"I think what you're missing is the way your power usually feels to you."

His mouth thinned. "Look, you said I'm a mutant, and I've been wearing this visor thing because for some reason I still can't explain I trust you and you said it was important. But I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Any other time, if you took that visor off and opened your eyes, the power inside you would level a mountain."

"Are you aware of how ludicrous that sounds?"

"But it sounds _right_ to you, doesn't it?"

"Yes," he admitted reluctantly. "Except what did you mean by 'any other time'?"

Lili pushed to her feet and took a deep breath. "Take the visor off."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Still the most polite person I know," she murmured, and reached to slide the visor off herself.

Scott grabbed her wrists. "I'm looking at you, Lili. Aren't you afraid I'm going to level you?"

Lili brought herself to power, and Scott saw the fires burning in her eyes and jerked away in surprize. "Our powers share enough similarities that when I'm using mine I can see yours. Only I can't see anything more inside you right now than the smallest coil of energy." She forced the heat back down in a swift, sizzling rush. "I don't know what happened to you at that lake, Scott. But your powers are dormant now."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

Scott raised one hand to tentatively touch the visor. "Then why am I wearing this thing?"

"Because I know absolutely nothing about how or why or when your power might come back. But if you're sensitive enough to know that you're missing the feel of your power inside you, then I think you'll be sensitive enough to know if your mutation is manifesting again. So take off the visor, and see if that doesn't make things feel a little less strange."

Without another word he slid it off, and Scott Summers was suddenly looking down at her with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Lili smiled. "I wondered, once, what color your eyes are."

"Well?"

"They're very blue. Do you feel any better?"

"I wouldn't say better, just… a little less like I'm losing my mind."

"I'll settle for that."

"It's progress, at least." He frowned at the visor in his hand. "I guess I should keep this handy, just in case."

"The glasses will probably fit in your pocket a little more easily."

"Right." Scott tossed the visor into the open bag on his bed, and as she'd known he would, dug through it right away for the glasses. "So what else do you know about me?"

Lili retrieved her coffee. "Well, you do shave every day, and you've got a very clean cut, no-fuss kind of style, although I probably don't know more than a handful of the people in your phone. I can also tell you that you're one of the most disciplined people I've ever met. That you listen to music all the time. That you love motorcycles and your Boxter S and that flying is one of your favorite things in the entire world. You don't read a lot of fiction, but I've seen you go through no less than four newspapers on a given day, and if there's a technical magazine or manual around, you'll tear through it cover to cover. You tried to teach me chess on that trip to Death Valley, but I don't have half your capacity for tactics, and you've usually got me to check mate inside of ten or fifteen moves."

He smiled at that, but she'd only seen him look sadder after Jean had died. "Thanks, Lili. It sort of helps, hearing some of the details."

"I wish I could help you remember as easily as I can tell you how much you love those Sudoku puzzles."

"Me, too," he whispered. Scott shoved the glasses into his back pants pocket and crossed restlessly to the windows to twitch the curtains aside. "So what now?"

"I don't know," Lili sighed.

"Shouldn't we go home--wherever _home_ is?"

She chewed nervously on her lip, and when she didn't answer right away Scott turned away from the window to stare at her with those clear, startling blue eyes.

"I… don't think we should," she said, carefully. "At least, not yet."

"Why not?" Scott demanded.

"Because the school is the only home you ever talked to me about, but without your power and your memory, you won't be safe there. And as powerful as I've become, I don't think I'm nearly strong enough to protect you."

His eyes narrowed. "You mean from this Phoenix you were talking about."

Lili nodded, and gave him as much of the truth as she dared. "I _know_ that Jean would want me to keep you safe, Scott. But I can't do that if we go back to the school."

He stared at her, weighing everything like the tactician he was, looking more like himself even without the visor than he'd seemed since he'd opened his eyes in that forest. "Am I the kind of man who runs away from a fight?" he finally, softly asked.

Reluctantly Lili shook her head. "No," she admitted. "But neither are you the kind of leader who goes into a battle unprepared if you can help it, and without your memories and your power, you'd be worse than unprepared--you'd put everyone around you in danger."

He snorted. "You may not be as bad at tactics as you think." Then he nodded. "All right, it's you and Jean against an amnesiac, so I surrender. For now. But that still leaves us sitting in a hotel with nowhere to go and nothing to do, and we're not going to get my life back that way. Any ideas?"

"We could go back to _my_ home," Lili offered. "You may just need a little more time for things to start coming back to you, and we could talk more, and of course my mother would love to meet you."

"You found your mom?"

"I found her," Lili beamed. "She lives in Sherman, Texas, near Dallas. I'm not sure where the nearest airport is, but they'll know at the diner. I've got my American Express card, so if we can get a flight, we can even be there by tonight."

"We don't need a flight," Scott suddenly grinned, nodding at his bag. "That's a flight bag, Lili. I found my log books and pilot's credentials in an inside pocket. I don't remember any of the flights listed there, but I do remember how to fly. So all we really need is a place that'll rent us a plane. And another place to store the motorcycle. Assuming one of us has the money for all of this."

Lili laughed. "This wonderful man named Fly Dargon has been sending me fourteen years of back pay. We could _buy_ the plane if we wanted."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Scott looked _alive_, and she felt better than she had since she'd awakened flat on her back in her mother's yard.

"Not a thing," Lili managed. "Just loan me that phone of yours, and I'll call my mom."

X3 Thirteen

Two days. Scott remembered the better part of two whole days now. And all he had to show for them was one small bag thrown over his shoulder and everything Lili had told him, these tiny, distinct pieces of information buzzing restlessly around in his head that he couldn't quite connect to. He hadn't actually connected to anything. Not the cold, the dense, dark forest, the motorcycle, the hotel and diner, or the Piper Seneca--he'd touched them, experienced them, tried to find himself in them. But it hadn't worked. Scott stared across the tarmac at the little twin engine plane he'd spent most of the second day of his life in. The lights kept the lowering darkness at bay around her, but couldn't quite stop the setting sun from edging her in gold. She was a beautiful craft, and she'd been a pleasure to fly, and now he'd leave her behind, too. He had to keep looking.

Scott scanned the airfield. Sherman Airport, in Sherman, Texas, familiar only in as much as he definitely knew his way around an active airport. Had he been there before, specifically? He could pilot a plane for thousands of miles, but he couldn't remember a single specific plane or airport or flight, any more than he could remember his family, his friends, or Jean or even Lili before he'd met her in the forest. _God_, he had no idea what he was doing, just _reaching_, over and over, in any and every direction, for something… anything…

Two whole days.

"We're all set, Scott," Lili said, quietly, and gratefully Scott turned to her. Without her, he'd have no direction at all.

He took a deep breath. "Lead on."

She cocked her head at him, smiling softly. "How do you do that? Trust me like that, I mean--even when you don't remember me."

"I trusted you before, didn't I?"

Her eyes darkened, and her smile faltered. "When you had no reason to, before I'd earned it, even when I'd let you down."

How he wished he knew what she was talking about. Restlessly Scott shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, Lili. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that you're the only person, place, or thing in the last two days that I feel in any way connected to. So just, do me a favor, all right?"

"Whatever you need," she offered.

"Don't leave me alone for too long," he said, reaching to take her hand. "Because I don't like where I go in my head when you're not around."

Her fingers tightened gently around his. "I promise."

"All right then," he sighed. "What's next?"

"Mom should be here in a few minutes. She'll meet us in the lounge." Lili nodded towards the hangar.

"Wouldn't it be easier for us to wait out front? That way she won't have to park."

"She wants to meet you properly," Lili grinned, backing away and tugging on his hand.

Scott followed, groaning. "You mean she wants to look over the amnesiac her daughter's bringing home."

"Something like that," Lili teased.

"Great," he snorted.

They were just sitting down in the hangar's small lounge when the communications device Lili had been sporting in her ear all day started beeping again. Her gaze sought his as they settled back on the sofa and she reached to answer the transmission.

"Rogue? … We're fine. We're in Texas now, waiting for my mom to pick us up. … No, not yet."

Lili's eyes drifted slowly shut. "I'm sorry we couldn't be there. You… didn't say anything, did you? … I know. Thanks."

She blinked, and again, and Scott realized her eyes had filled with tears. More bad news.

Then Lili frowned. "Well, I can't say I'm surprized. He's always--" Her glance skipped to him and flitted quickly away. "--been pretty blatant about how he feels. I just don't know what makes him think he can get through to her when the Professor couldn't. You'll let me know what happens?"

The Professor again, ringing more bells in his head, but memory staying stubbornly out of reach. And someone else he vaguely felt he should recognize, and was the "her" that mysterious Phoenix?

"Oh. I see. … Wait, Marie--you don't owe me an explanation. This is your decision. It doesn't have anything to do with me, and either way you'll still be my friend. It's just… The cure is _permanent_. Have you thought this all the way through?"

The cure? For what? And who was Marie?

"Then I hope it works out the way you want. Call me after? … No, we'll be at my mother's until Scott remembers or we figure something else out. … All right, Marie. I'll talk to you then. Be careful." She ended the call with a heavy sigh, bowing her head as she wiped wearily at her eyes.

Scott brushed her hair back and left his hand on her shoulder. "I think maybe you should fill me in a little more now, Lili."

"You're probably right," Lili nodded, turning back to him, her eyes huge and liquid and a startling, burning mix of gold and a deep, fiery brown. "Except I have no idea where to start."

"How about with whoever you've been talking to?"

"Her name is Marie. She showed up at the school a day or two after I did. Actually, I think you went to get her, too. She's been going by Rogue since her mutation hit. It's… well, let's just say she can literally kill you with a touch. Only that means no one can touch _her_, either, because she's got no control over it at all."

Scott realized his mouth had dropped open. He shut it and cleared his throat. "Sounds lonely."

"I can't imagine it," Lili shook her head. "But now that they've announced a cure…"

"For what?"

"For the x-gene that causes our mutations."

"Really? Well, I think that would be pretty huge, if I remembered my mutation. Unless… is that why my power is missing? Did I already take the cure?"

"No, Scott--remember, I can still sense your power, it's just not at full strength. Besides, you were already on the road when the cure was announced. How would you have heard about it?"

"Right," he agreed. "But what about you? Are you going to take it?"

"No," she said, firmly. "I thought about it, but I like who I'm becoming, and it all starts and ends with the fire inside of me. Besides, it's completely under my control now, and I can do some pretty cool things that I'd never be able to do otherwise. Plus… I think I could do some good with it."

"But for someone like your friend Marie…"

"Exactly. It must seem like an answer to her prayers. She's in Manhattan, and plans to go to the clinic offering the cure there tomorrow."

"It could be a good thing for a lot of mutants," Scott mused, "as long as they get to decide for themselves if they want it." Unlike him, waking up with something missing inside him, for who knew what reason. A loss so great he felt it even though he had no memory of what he could do.

"So far it's completely voluntary," Lili agreed.

"Okay." Scott shook himself. "What else, Lili? What's going on with this Professor you keep mentioning?"

Lili hesitated. "You… don't remember him?"

"Not a thing."

"He was your teacher, and your mentor, I guess. Maybe even a father to you. You told me once that he invented the glasses and the visor you wear."

A father to him? His stomach dropped. "And I don't remember a thing about him. Wait a minute--_was_?"

Lili closed her eyes for a long, hard moment, and when she opened them again the answer was there in her sorrowful gaze.

"Phoenix?" he choked, his fingers tightening on her shoulder.

"Maybe," she said softly. "Scott, the Professor was an incredibly powerful telepath. If you survived your encounter with Phoenix, then maybe he did, too. But the others at the school are so sure he didn't that they had a memorial service for him today."

Something she'd said yesterday… "But they don't know _I'm_ alive, yet--do they?"

"No," she whispered. "Because it's the only way I can be certain you'll be safe."

"You really think these other mutants at the school would risk my life in another fight against Phoenix, when I don't remember a thing and my powers are dormant?"

"Not directly," she admitted. "But right now, I don't think _Phoenix_ knows you're still alive, and she's the one I need to keep you safe from. She's a telepath, too, Scott, maybe even more powerful than the Professor. Logan has already gone after her, although God only knows what he thinks he can do alone, but what if he went to her knowing that you're still alive and she pulled that fact out of his mind? I'm nothing against her, Scott, and if she came after you again, now…"

She was shaking, she was so worried, her fists clenched in her lap. "Okay," he managed, gentling his hand on her shoulder. "I get it. We'll stay out of sight and let this Logan handle things. For now, anyway."

The door to the lounge opened.

"Lili?" She was slim, small, her hair a lighter version of Lili's, the smile on her face and the light in her eyes duplicates of the ones breaking over Lili's, and Scott knew even before Lili threw herself off the sofa and into her mother's embrace that this was Charlotte Stanton.

Slowly Scott pushed to his feet, giving them some time. But Lili's mom pulled one arm from around her daughter and reached to him, grasping his hand firmly in hers.

"You must be Scott," she beamed at him. "I'm Charlotte, Lili's mother."

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

Lili pulled back a little, not leaving the half circle of her mother's arm around her shoulders. "Thanks for coming to get us, Mom."

"And for letting me stay with you," Scott added.

Charlotte pressed her forehead to her daughter's. "I'm so grateful that you trust me enough to come to me, honey. And as for you," Charlotte sniffed, turning back to him, her eyes welling suddenly with tears, "I'll never be able to thank you enough for taking my daughter away from that horrible man. You gave her a home when she had none and took care of her when I couldn't. So you just come home with us now, and you stay as long as you want. And whenever you're ready we'll get you into the hospital where I work, to a doctor friend of mine who knows a thing or two about memory loss and is more than happy to help."

"Thank you," Scott managed. Two days, now two people, mother and daughter. He was immeasurably sad and frustrated that he couldn't remember a thing either of them were telling him. But somehow, with the two of them in his corner, at least he felt like he could breathe.

"Let's go home," Charlotte said firmly, and somehow she gathered both of them and Scott's bag and bustled them all out to her SUV without ever really letting go of either of them.

Scott climbed into the back seat, content to listen to Lili and her mother and watch the two of them together as Charlotte drove. They were so comfortable with each other, and so alike in their mannerisms and expressions. Except for the occasional shy glances from one or the other, he never would have known they'd spent most of their lives apart. It was actually relaxing, and kind of a relief to sit back and let everything wash over him, to not need to think so hard about his own situation.

Until Charlotte's calm, chatty comments about someone named Rodney ended in a sharp oath and Lili went completely still.

"Rude young man," Charlotte muttered, as a pickup jacked high on massive wheels veered around them and roared past.

"Stop the car," Lili snapped.

"Honey, he's already--"

"_Now_, Mom--something's burning"

Charlotte stomped on the brakes, the tires squealing as she wrenched the SUV out of traffic to the shoulder, and as Scott was jerked forward against his seat belt he heard the unmistakable sound of a tractor trailer in a flat skid.

_On the overpass_, and he watched in helpless horror as the rig crashed through the guide rails, smoke pouring from under the hood, and plummeted to the highway ahead. The cab whined through the air and hit first in a deafening shriek, impact buckling metal and shattering glass, and with a groan of protest the trailer followed in a slow, heavy, almost graceful slide off the bridge. It hit on its side with a thunderous _crack_ and somewhere it broke apart, liquid spilling across the road. Massive tires locked, the pickup plowed straight into it. All around them cars and trucks were skidding and spinning to a stop, and through the chaos of sound and movement Scott heard the _whoosh_ of fire bursting to life and saw the flicker of flames rise from beneath the trailer's bent, twisted hood.

Lili shoved her door open and threw herself from the car and ran straight for it.

_Lili!_ Scott scrabbled to release his seat belt. "Get out and get back," he shouted at Charlotte, and scurried after Lili. If that liquid was flammable there'd be no time to-- Sparks flashed across the pickup's mangled front end and sprayed across the pooling liquid and _the liquid ignited._ _Flames raced across the highway and climbed up the truck and the rig and--_

He threw up his arms against the blinding brightness and the searing heat and screamed for Lili and she leapt into the air _and kept going, higher and higher,_ and in a snarling rush the flames and the heat and explosive concussion followed her. _Dear God_, she was _glowing_, a fiery stream trailing through the air behind her. She stopped, hanging there in darkness, hundreds of feet in the air, and the flames rose as if they danced up a dangling rope that only she could hold, building and building around her in a ball of blazing fire. When she had all of it wrapped round her in mid air, Lili threw her arms wide and the fireball _detonated_, shearing harmlessly across the sky in a sizzling, crackling wave of red and gold and burning orange.

And deep within Scott felt an answering swell of heat that rooted him to the spot.

_That was power_.

He gasped, shuddering, wondering--and then it was gone, and Scott could only stare, stunned by everything he'd just seen and felt, as Lili dropped back down with speed and an easy grace, landing lightly in the middle of the highway. Her hands still shimmered with heat, and her eyes still _burned_, and no one in the scattered throng of drivers moved.

But nothing could have kept Scott from going to her. Had he ever seen her like that before? Was that the kind of thing his life was about? Was _that_ what was missing from inside him? He couldn't _remember_--he hadn't understood…

"Are you all right?" he demanded, the sight of her wrapped in flames still bright in his mind.

"Get the drivers out," she said, the snarling rush of wildfire in her voice. "I have control of the heat. Nothing will ignite."

"Lili," he breathed, stepping right in front of her.

Her eyes finally rose to meet his. "I'm fine, Scott. Hurry."

There was so much he wanted to say--he was drowning in a riot of emotions cascading through him--but she was right. Now wasn't the time, and he didn't have the words anyway. Scott nodded, reaching to cup her cheek for the briefest of moments, and then he darted around her and started shouting to the others to help him. They gave Lili a wide berth, but some of them came.

Scott took the driver of the semi, hauling himself up the wreckage to peer anxiously down into the cab. The man was unconscious, blood everywhere, but he was still breathing. And four men had followed Scott to the cab. One of them was wearing a flannel shirt, hanging open over his t-shirt.

"I need your flannel shirt," Scott said to him. "I'll drop down in and cover the driver. You," he pointed, "find something to break the rest of the windshield out. We'll take him out that way. Can you two rig something to carry him on?"

It worked, quickly, efficiently, as if they'd been practicing the procedure for years, and as they eased the driver out of the cab Scott finally heard the welcome sound of sirens. He slipped carefully out, nodding in thanks and approval to the men carrying the driver to the far side of the road, and glanced around. Others had already gotten the driver of the pickup out, and it looked like even if other cars had collided in the panic to stop, no one else had been seriously hurt.

But Lili was still the center of attention. Scott trotted back to her.

"Both drivers are safe, Lili."

She nodded, her gaze distant. "I have to hold the heat until the firemen can douse both engines, or fires will start again. Can you check on my mom?"

"I'm here," Charlotte said, and Scott turned to see her approaching. She looked completely shell-shocked.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," Lili whispered.

Charlotte swallowed hard. "I couldn't believe you were running straight into an explosion. I had no idea…"

Lili's chin dropped. "You said you didn't care that I'm a mutant, and I know you meant that. But I was still afraid that if you knew…"

"I'll always love you," Charlotte firmly replied, "no matter what. Just… give your poor mother a little bit of warning next time. All right?"

Lili smiled, relief shining in her face. "Got it."

"The fire trucks are coming through," Scott interrupted. "Do you want me to talk to them, Lili? Tell them what you said about the engines?"

"No, I can do it. Would you stay with Mom, please?"

"Sure," Scott nodded. He took Charlotte by the elbow and gently steered her back to her SUV. "Are you okay?"

"I thought I was," she said softly, smoothing her hair back into place with shaking hands. "But then, I was picturing more of a match inside her, not an entire forest fire. And for goodness sake--she can _fly_. This is going to take some getting used to."

"At least you're willing to try."

"She's my daughter," she replied, eyebrows raised. "I'd get used to _anything_ to have her in my life."

Something moved in him, some fleeting hint of sorrow, but its meaning eluded him, and Scott sighed. "I don't think all parents feel that way."

Charlotte turned back to the accident, and Scott followed her gaze. The fire chief loomed over Lili, but he seemed to be listening to her as he directed his men.

"Maybe they shouldn't be called parents then," Charlotte mused, her voice rough with emotion. "Or maybe they should try fourteen years of not even knowing if their child is alive. I died a little every day she wasn't with me."

There was a world of pain in those words. But an extraordinary strength, too. Lili's mother would be fine. "She talked about you all the way here," Scott offered.

"Did she?" Charlotte smiled wistfully. "I hope you weren't too bored."

"Your daughter is the only person I know," he said. He couldn't keep his own pain from his voice, but there was gratitude there, too. "You're important to her. I wasn't bored at all."

Charlotte looked up at him. "You're a good man, Scott. It must be awful, not remembering anything, but you don't have to worry about that much of who you are, at least. You're a good man, and I'm so very glad Lili has you."

He thought of waking in that forest alone, without even so much as his name. Or dying there alone, if Lili hadn't come after him. "So am I," he softly agreed. "So am I."

X3 Fourteen

Coffee. That delicious smell was coffee.

And _that_ was definitely sunlight.

Lili sighed and rolled over and brushed her hair out of her eyes and blinked in amazement at the alarm clock by her bed. But the numbers didn't change. They'd let her sleep until almost _noon_. She'd never slept past five in the circus, and even at the school she would have been up by seven. But _noon_?

She grinned, pulling the sheet up to her chin and snuggling down deeper. She'd slept in. In _her_ bed, in her _mother's_ home. How gloriously _normal_. As if she could actually take a day off, just like everyone else.

Except she wasn't like everyone else. Not even close. Slowly Lili sat up. She'd kept an explosion from killing at least two people last night, and she'd used her abilities and flown to do it, and dozens of people had seen. Including Scott and her mother. They must both have so many questions for her. How could she have slept so long? Lili threw herself out of bed, grabbed her robe, and hurried to the kitchen as she shrugged it on.

"Mom?" she called. "Scott?"

The house was empty. Coffee was brewing, though, and there were at least three newspapers on the kitchen table. Of course, it was a weekday. She'd lost track. Her Mom would be at work. Scott had been busy, too. All of the puzzles were even already finished in his small, neat handwriting. So where was he?

She found Scott on the back porch, sitting on the steps, staring across her mother's garden as a warm breeze tousled his hair. Lili smiled, reaching for the screen door, but then she saw the rest of it. The tension in his back, the pensive sadness in his profile, the tightness of his twined hands as they hung between his knees. She may have succeeded in keeping Scott safe, but he still couldn't remember. He still wasn't himself. And there was still so much she hadn't told him. What on earth was she going to do next?

Maybe… whatever _he_ needed. Scott had trusted her enough to let her call the shots so far. Now that he was safe and they were both back on their feet, maybe it was time for her to step back, to trust his instincts and let him do whatever he needed to feel his way back to his memory and his power. Lili pushed open the screen door.

Scott glanced back at the sound, and wordlessly slid over to make room for her on the step. Lili sat, perched on the edge of the step next to him, and offered a tentative smile. "I can't believe you let me sleep so late."

"You needed the rest," Scott shrugged. "And I needed to think."

No need to ask about what. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he admitted. "Most of what's going on in my head we've been over before, and it's just not worth repeating. But I do need to ask you some questions."

"Okay," she agreed. She'd already answered most of the easy ones, and known the hard ones wouldn't be far behind--especially not after last night. Whatever he needed. "Mind if I get dressed first? Maybe have some of that coffee?"

"Sure," he nodded, glancing at his watch. "I want to catch the twelve o'clock news anyway."

"All those newspapers weren't enough?" Lili grinned as they rose and started back across the porch.

"They weren't enough to jog my memory," he replied, frustration edging his voice. "I feel like I'm out of touch, like I should be doingsomething more than just waiting around for my memory or my 'power' to come back."

"That's the leader in you."

"I wish I knew," he muttered, shaking his head.

Lili reached for his hand. "Look, I know you're frustrated. Just try to keep an open mind and trust your instincts. We'll figure this out, Scott. It might take longer than either of us want, but we'll get you all the way back. I know it."

He paused, squeezing her hand so hard she stopped and turned back to him, and those brilliantly blue eyes bored desperately into hers. "How can you be so sure?"

The need in him was raw and open, and it tore through her to see him so unsure. But he was turning to her for answers, and she _would not_ let him down. "You may not remember who and what you are, but I do," she said softly. "You don't give up, Scott. Ever. And I won't, either. I promise."

He took a deep breath, then another, his eyes searching hers, until finally Scott nodded. "You may need to keep reminding me of that, Lili."

"Any time."

He dredged up a smile, his grip on her hand finally easing, and together they returned to the house. "So what channel is CNN?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, following him to the living room. "But there's a guide around here somewhere. Maybe here."

She reached for the stack of magazines on the coffee table as he turned the television on and started running through the channels, but the noise and brightness of an explosion on the screen stopped him cold and spun Lili around to the television.

_"This was the scene moments ago in Manhattan at one of the clinics offering the x-gene cure announced by Worthington Labs only a few short days ago. Mutants led by a figure known as 'Magneto' attacked--"_

Lili bolted for her bedroom, her heart pounding in her ears and her breath lodged in her throat. The comlink--where had she left the-- The bureau? Yes, there it-- _It was going off_. She grabbed it with shaking hands and shoved it into her ear.

"_Marie_?"

_"I'm all right, Lili. I wasn't inside."_

"Oh thank God," Lili breathed, shuddering with relief, her grip on the bureau's edge white-knuckled.

_"I didn't even see what happened--the place just blew."_

"They were saying something about Magneto on the news, but I didn't wait to hear anything else. Hold on."

Lili made herself let go, breathing deeply to steady herself as she returned to the living room.

Scott spared a long, searching glance from the news coverage. "Is Marie all right?"

Lili nodded. "What else are they saying?"

"Someone named Magneto took responsibility for the attack, but what actually happened is just speculation, Lili. They're thinking a mutant with some kind of combustible power set the place off, and another with control over ice cooled everything down. Casualties were actually rather minor."

"Ice? Marie, did you hear that? Is Bobby with you?"

_"No,"_ she softly admitted. _"He's not. I didn't tell him I was doing this."_

"You didn't-- Are you saying you just _left_?"

_"Pretty much."_

Marie's life, her decision, Lili reminded herself. "Well, either there's another mutant out there who can control ice, or Bobby must have followed you."

_"It doesn't matter,"_ Marie said, and with images of fire and chaos being played over and over in front of Lili's eyes, it somehow felt wrong to hear the laughter bubbling up in her friend's voice. _"I've taken it already. Lili--I can touch people again!"_

Lili turned away from the screen and closed her eyes and gave herself a minute to think only about what was happening with her friend. "I'm so happy for you, Marie," she managed. "Are you sure you're all right?"

_"I'm fine," _Marie sighed. _"It felt really weird for a minute, but then it was over and when I touched the nurse, nothing happened. Nothing, Lili--it was awesome! I threw away my gloves and just started walking. I wasn't far before the building exploded, though."_

"Thanks for calling right away."

_"I knew you'd be worried."_

"You were right." Lili felt a touch on her arm and straightened, brushing her hair back as she half turned and opened her eyes.

"We need to talk," Scott said. "Now."

There was no denying the need or the tension in him. Lili smoothed her hand over his and nodded. "I've got to go, Marie. Are you sure you're okay? Do you have a place to stay tonight?"

_"Hey, I'm the one with the plan, remember? I'll call you when I get back to the school and find out what's going on there."_

"I'll talk to you later, then. Be safe, Marie."

_"You, too--both of you."_

"We will be," Lili agreed, and ended the transmission as Scott hit the mute on the television's remote. The sudden silence was jarring. "What is it, Scott?"

He released her to wave at the television and start restlessly pacing. "I should be a part of this. I should be _doing_ something--I know it. But I can't remember a thing, Lili. Not one damned thing. All I am is _empty_. You've got to help me."

"Tell me how," she gently prompted him, "and whatever it is, I'll do it. I just don't--"

"That trip," he interrupted, spinning back to her. "Death Valley, right? You said we were experimenting with our powers. What did we do?"

Her stomach dropped, the blood draining from her face. His instincts had led him _there_?

"Lili?" he pressed, stepping closer, narrowed eyes not missing a thing. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and backed away one faltering step, then another, could feel herself closing down and shutting him out. She couldn't help it. They'd only talked that one time, and then she'd shoved everything about that day as far away as she could and vowed never to go there again. Why was he asking about that now? "Scott," she finally whispered, helplessly holding her hands up to him, "I don't…"

"You're shaking," he blinked at her, stunned, and stopped in his tracks. "All you said before was that the experiment didn't work. All I did just now was ask what happened. Why are you shaking?"

"I'm not," Lili denied, and crossed her arms and turned away to stare blindly at the floor. She was being ridiculous. Scott didn't remember what had happened and wouldn't ask about the trip without a good reason. She'd planned to follow his lead now, hadn't she? No matter what? She had to get herself under control, had to--

Scott's hands settled light as air on her shoulders, exposing the fine trembling she couldn't seem to stop. "Lili," he gently admonished her. "What's going on?"

Lili held herself tighter. "I'm sorry, Scott. I know I'm overreacting. But that trip was a disaster, and I don't like to talk about it. You just caught me by surprize when you asked about it, that's all."

"A disaster…" His hands fell away, but the warmth of his closeness at her back remained, restlessly shifting. "The way you're acting, I--did I do something wrong?"

_Rampant craving… Dizzying, breathless, white-hot heights…_

"I don't know any more," Lili hoarsely admitted. "You said it was your fault, I thought it was mine."

_Howling flames, and crimson rays, and a cataclysm of explosive, radiant fury._

"I'm sorry, but I need to know... Did I hurt you?"

_Devastation, and anger, and disgust…_ But no intent to hurt--never that.

"It was just a horrible accident, Scott. One that hurt us both." Time to move past it, whether she was ready to or not. And time to find out why Scott had asked. Lili made herself straighten and turn back to him. He was braced for the worst, but the worst was long over, and sooner or later, he'd remember for himself. "I guess the truth is, we both made mistakes. It was… difficult, and painful, but it's done, and we both survived. So what made you ask me about it now?"

"Because you're the only person in my life, Lili," he replied, loneliness rough in his voice and bleak in his eyes. "The only one who came after me, the only one I feel in any way connected to, _the only one_, and if I'm going to make anything of myself now I need to understand that connection."

"I'm just the only one _so far_," she soothed. "You have a lot of friends, Scott. You're important to a lot of people, and once--"

"No," he shook his head, "it's more than that. Come on, Lili--why are you the only one who came after me?"

What to tell him? She was the only one who'd believed, the only one who could be spared, the only one his dead love had spoken to? _No, Storm and the Professor had finally started to wonder_… "Because I was the only one who felt cold," she breathed, "just like you'd been, and the only one dreaming some kind of echo of a dream you'd been having. You're right--I think there _is_ a connection between us, between our powers. But how did _you_ know? I didn't realize it until whatever nearly killed you at the lake knocked me out at the same moment thousands of miles away."

He reared back and ran his hands through his hair, hope flaring in his eyes for the first time. "Then maybe I didn't imagine it."

"Imagine what?"

"Last night," he said roughly, "when you pulled that explosion and all those flames into the air with you and released them, _I felt something_, inside, like a wave of heat." He faltered, his hand shaking as he pressed it to his chest. "I felt something… and I thought maybe it was my power."

"I knew it," she choked, relief tingling through her and starting her shaking all over again as she beamed up at him. "I knew everything would come back to you."

"But it hasn't," he protested. "I mean, I felt something for an instant, yes, but then it was gone. I still feel empty, and there's obviously nothing--what did you say?--_shooting out of my eyes_? That's why I asked about the experiment, because you said there were similarities between our powers. I was thinking if there were enough similarities, then maybe you could, well, figure out how to turn mine back on, which might be exactly what I need to get my memory back, too. At least I might be _useful_, and we wouldn't have to hide anymore."

"Oh," she gasped. _Howling flames, and crimson rays, and a cataclysm of explosive, radiant fury._ "Oh, no. I can't. We can't. It's too risky."

He stared at her. "What is?"

"Burning together," she stammered. "I can't show you your power unless we're burning together, but that last time we lost control and nearly burned each other alive and--and--if I get you back to full power and we're burning together there's no telling what-- _Scott, we can't_."

"I don't understand," he pressed. "If we got out of whatever 'burning together' means last time, why can't we do the same thing this time around? Isn't it worth the risk if it might make me whole again?"

She froze. _Roughness at her back, sweat slicking her body, his weight on top of her… and deep within._ He had no idea what he was asking. And she couldn't bring herself to tell him. But the need in him was so huge… _Could she risk it?_

"Everything starts with you, Lili," he said fiercely, stepping close, "from the first moment I opened my eyes. You said to trust my instincts, right? Well, instinct is all I've got right now, and what it's telling me is that everything comes back to you and this connection between us."

He seemed so certain, while all she had was her fear. And bitter, scalding memories. He wouldn't have asked her to do this if he knew what had happened. If he remembered those awful moments in the desert for himself. She opened her mouth to say no, but a picture of Magneto flashed on the silent screen behind him and instead she sucked in a startled breath.

There was a great deal more going on than just keeping Scott safe. Jean had died because she'd put everyone else first and risked everything she was to save them. The Professor might have, too. And now the X-Men were fighting the kind of war that would alter the lives of millions, without either of them or Scott. So what if Scott was right? What if she was the one with the answers, if she could help him remember and get him and his power back where he belonged in time to make a difference, but she was just too damned afraid to put everything on the line?

Lili dragged her gaze from Magneto and looked back up at Scott, at the desperate longing burning in his eyes. Even without his memory, he believed in her. But this time, that wasn't enough. She had to believe, too. Or this time, after everything they'd been through, she _would_ destroy them.

"I have to think about this," she finally, softly managed.

"Thank you," he breathed on a noisy exhale, the tension in him easing.

Slowly she shook her head. "Don't thank me yet. _We almost died._ You have _no_ idea how dangerous this is."

"Maybe not. But I think we're needed," he warned her, "and I don't think we have a lot of time."

She glanced back at the screen, at more pictures of buildings burning. Without the Professor there to balance things and stop him, Magneto had started his war after all. And now he had Phoenix on his side. _So much at risk._ "I know," she whispered.

X3 Fifteen

The waiting was driving him out of what little he had left of his mind.

Three days now. _Three_. With _nothing_. He should be a part of what was happening out there--he _knew_ it--but he was so damned empty, the emptiness was like a thing alive and apart inside him, tearing through him with every breath, every thought, every question… and every single, burning, _endless_ moment since--

Restlessly Scott closed the browser and yet another editorial on mutant issues and pushed away from Charlotte's computer. Almost two in the morning. It had been hard enough before, just waiting to remember. But now that there might be a way…

Sighing heavily, Scott turned off the lights in Charlotte's home office and ran a weary hand through his hair as he shuffled through the darkened house to the guest room. He'd tried. All day and now well into the night, he'd tried to give Lili the space and time she obviously needed. He'd made himself scarce all afternoon, kept the dinner conversation focused squarely on Charlotte and her life in Sherman, even sat there in Charlotte's living room and stared blindly at her television as one of her favorite old movies had flashed across the screen. And most difficult of all, he'd done nothing more than smile and nod when Lili had quietly excused herself and gone to bed.

He paused at her bedroom door. His entire world might lie on the other side of that smooth, white wood, but no matter how grueling the wait--no matter how desperately the need to _remember_ ached within him--he couldn't make himself knock. Because he had no idea what he was asking Lili to do, no idea what _burning together_ meant or why it scared her so badly that she couldn't even look at him now. He'd known from those first, desperate, brutally cold moments in that forest that Lili had all of the answers. It just hadn't occurred to him that those answers might come with a mysteriously dangerous price that she might not be willing or able to pay.

_You trust her_, he reminded himself. Lili would do what she could, when she could, to make him whole again. They _would_ be in time to make a difference in what was happening out there. He just had to keep trusting her, and wait a little longer. Scott kept walking.

The soft click of her opening door shot through him like cannon fire and spun him back around, hope and anticipation sparking brightly in his chest as she stepped into the hall and he realized she was still dressed. He couldn't hold it back any longer then. _He had to know._ "Lili?" he breathed.

She knew what he was asking. "I'm ready," she said softly, nodding. "Get your visor."

She still couldn't _quite_ look at him, but he wanted too badly to believe she really was ready to press her on it. Scott darted to the guest room and was back with the visor in moments. "What do you want me to do?"

"Drive," she replied, and held something out to him.

"Drive?" he repeated, surprize jerking his hand to a stop half way to the set of car keys in hers. "Where are we going?"

Her eyes finally rose to meet his. A hint of flames glittered in her oddly distant gaze. "West, I think. Until we find someplace remote and barren enough to take the heat I'll have to release."

"You meant 'burning' _literally_?" he frowned.

Lili pressed the keys into his hand. "Why do you think we went all the way out to Death Valley for the experiment?"

Right. He may not remember that trip, but the sight of her hanging there in the night sky wrapped in an inferno was quite clear in his memory. As was that instant of answering power deep within him. Scott cleared his throat. "And the part about burning _together_?"

"I told you this is dangerous." Something flashed deep in her eyes, and she looked away. "But you were right. We have to take the risk. You're needed, and we can't just sit here and wait any more for your memory and your power to come back. I've tried, but I can't see any other way to reach for them… except through this connection between us." Her glance swiveled back to him, and now her eyes burned with an intensity that had nothing to do with her power. "Maybe what happened before happened for a reason--maybe _everything_ I've gone through has made me exactly what I have to be to bring you back. I don't know, and the Professor isn't here to advise either one of us. All I know for sure is I haven't come this far just to lose you now, Scott. We did get through this before, and I remember what went wrong, and if you listen to me out there we should be fine. Just listen to me and do exactly what I tell you to do--_exactly_--all right?"

So much going on that he couldn't possibly understand without his full memory. He should probably be afraid. He should almost certainly be more cautious. But the hope and the need and the gaping emptiness in him didn't leave much room for either. "All right," he said firmly, his hand closing tightly around the keys. "Let's go."

He didn't stop to think about Charlotte until Lili led him out front to her mother's SUV. Surely they weren't just leaving in the middle of the night without a word to her. Scott hauled himself up behind the wheel, waiting as Lili rounded the car and climbed in next to him.

She glanced at him as she reached for her seat belt. "You do remember how to drive a car, don't you? Because Max wouldn't even consider letting me learn, and no one's had the time to teach me."

"I remember," he waved that off. "It's just, what about your mom?"

Raw emotion flickered across her face, but then her jaw tightened and Lili shook her head. "If you start driving now, I'm hoping we'll be back before she figures out we're missing and has the chance to worry. But if we're not… or if things go wrong… I left her a letter."

The danger she'd talked about hadn't seemed quite so real before. But if things could go _that_ wrong… Scott slid the key into the ignition, but he didn't start the car. Instead he reached for Lili's shoulder. "We'll be fine," he said, keeping his voice and his touch strong and certain. "You said we'll be fine, and I believe you."

"Thanks," she said, almost coldly, and for the first time in three days, she was completely closed to him. It was oddly disconcerting to see her like that, as if… But the memory, if memory it was, eluded him.

"Let's go, Scott."

Wordlessly he reached and turned the key in the ignition. The SUV came smoothly to life, and before either the fear or the caution could find purchase in him, he put the car in gear and pulled out of the driveway. Lost in his thoughts, loathe to interrupt hers, he simply drove, hoping desperately that each mile was bringing him that much closer to his life. That all of this would be worth it.

It took almost two hours and over a hundred miles to get far enough away from people and homes and anything even remotely resembling civilization before Lili was satisfied.

"All right," she finally said. "Turn off up there and drive around to the back of that little hill."

_This was it._ His chest tightened, and he took a deep breath as he slowed and pulled off the little two-lane road where she'd pointed. "Then what?"

"Then we walk for a mile or so, so we don't risk damaging the SUV."

He braked to a stop and threw the car into park. "A _mile_?"

"A mile," she softly confirmed, busying herself with releasing her seatbelt. "The two of us at full power are a lethal combination if we lose control."

He gaped at her. Just what the hell did _that _mean?

But Lili didn't explain further and she didn't wait for him, sliding out of the SUV and slamming the car door shut behind her and walking briskly away into darkness and the northern Texas brush.

He didn't like seeing her like that, didn't like either the emotional or the physical distance she was deliberately putting between them. But this was still her show. She was the one with a full memory. He just had to keep trusting her and let her do this her own way.

Scott shut off the engine, grabbed his visor, and scrambled to catch up to her. The night sky was huge and filled with stars, but without more than a sliver of the moon's light, Scott found himself stumbling over the uneven ground.

"Try your visor," Lili absently recommended. "I think it has a night vision mode or something."

Scott slid the visor on, slowing in astonishment as the darkened landscape flared to brilliantly sharp--and very red--life. "Or something." The snug pressure against his skin felt reassuringly familiar, and something about that color seemed right, too--he was definitely getting closer to finding himself. But… did this mean he always saw only that color? Was that the price of this power he was trying to regain? The thought made him a little sad. He shook it off and picked up his pace and thought he might dare an innocuous question. "Why don't you need a flashlight or something to see?"

"I don't usually have a problem with either cold or darkness," she replied. "Not with what's inside of me."

Of course. _Power_. For her, heat and light. And for him… Apparently, pure energy. Would he know what that felt like after they "burned together"? Would he remember? Or would he still feel so lost and painfully empty? Scott glanced at Lili, at her extraordinary focus and composure. He didn't want to admit it, not even to himself--didn't want to give it any room in him at all--but there was that third option to consider as well. That things might go _that_ wrong.

They started up a little rise, a sharp, scraggly bush in her way forcing Lili to walk closer to him, and as her hand swung out for balance he reached to take it in his, holding on as they kept walking. She might not need the warmth of that small touch, but he did, especially if she didn't feel like talking or explaining much right now. He couldn't take much more of this damned, empty waiting, and the silence wasn't helping. But Lili didn't pull her hand back. Instead, her fingers twined through his, easing the tightness in him just enough for him to keep going.

Still, the mile felt like ten, the silence between them brittle and harsh. And yet, when Lili finally stopped and Scott realized he didn't have to wait any longer, his stomach dropped and it got a little harder to breathe and he honestly couldn't say anymore that he was ready.

But his_ life_ might be on the other side of this little trip to the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, and _he wanted his life back_. Scott turned to Lili and asked again, "What do you want me to do?"

Lili reached for his other hand, too, then took a deep breath and exhaled, long and slow, and when she spoke he heard her voice over the hiss and crackle of the flames flaring high and bright in her eyes. "The power inside you should be circling at its full intensity in a very particular pattern, waiting for you to release it through your eyes, but right now it's just a small spark, so deep inside you it's actually hard for me to see. What I'm going to try to do is touch that spark and stoke it back up by feeding fire with fire."

"'Burning together'?" he guessed.

"Right," she nodded. "But don't worry about any actual heat. I'll be releasing that so we don't get physically burned. What I want you to do is tell me everything you see and hear. If this works, when my power touches yours you'll see and hear flames, and as the level of your power hopefully rises, instead you'll see a very intricate, twisting pattern. Understand?"

"Flames, then a pattern, tell you what I see and hear," Scott repeated. "Got it."

"Don't let go of my hands unless I let go of yours. We need the physical connection for me to control the burning. But whatever you do, Scott, do _not_ try to touch or control that pattern." Lili shuddered. "Just let the energy fill you. Don't even reach for it, all right?"

"I take it that would be bad."

"Cataclysmic."

"I understand," he said softly, even though he didn't really, but for once, he didn't mind if she skipped the details. Scott settled her hands more firmly in his. Simple rules, clear directions. He could do this. "Anything else?"

He hadn't really expected anything after "cataclysmic," but Lili hesitated, swallowing hard and taking another long, careful breath, and Scott's stomach did a slow roll sideways. "What is it, Lili?"

"One more thing," she admitted tightly. "When we're burning together, we won't just be aware of the heat. We'll also… be aware of each other."

Such carefully chosen words. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Meaning what?"

"Fire isn't just about heat and light, Scott," Lili whispered. "It's also about hunger."

Hunger? For wh-- He stilled as he realized what she was trying to say. "You mean I'll _want_ you? That--we'll want each other?"

She nodded curtly.

He frowned, shaking his head. Surely he was strong enough to control himself with a woman. But judging by Lili's reaction… "I feel like I'm missing something here. What is it?"

"At full power you could level a mountain," she flatly reminded him. "At full power _I_ could burn down an entire city. Now imagine the destructive capability of your power and mine if we're burning together and both lose control of ourselves."

"Wow, that's…" He stared at her, pieces falling together and shocked insight finally searing through him. "Is that what happened in Death Valley?"

Lili looked away.

She'd gone white. He wasn't sure how he could tell that through the visor, but he knew it nonetheless. No wonder it had taken her the better part of a day to work herself up to trying this. But somehow they'd survived before, and they had no choice now but to try again if he was going to get his life back.

"_Okay_," he breathed, and tried to get himself focused. "Tell you what I see and hear, don't let go of your hands, don't try to control the pattern, and absolutely positively do _not_ lose control of myself. Have I got everything now?"

Wordlessly she nodded.

Scott resettled her hands one more time in his, breathed a quick, silent prayer for strength, and did his best to brace himself. "All right then. Lead the way, Lili."

Her eyes jerked back to his, and without any other warning those brilliant eyes blazed. For long, restless moments, that was his only sign that anything at all was happening. He wanted to ask her what she was doing--could she see his power--how much longer before he felt something--how much longer before they knew if this would work--but "cataclysmic" was still ringing in his ears and caution held him silent. Then her lips parted, her hands tightened on his, and he realized she wasn't looking _at_ him any more, but _through_ him.

"Here we go," she said, and even before the words were out of her mouth a delicate heat unfurled deep inside him.

"I felt that," he gasped.

She frowned in concentration. "Good. Now what do you see?"

"Still just--"

_Heat, roaring up and shearing through him in a sizzling, breath-stealing rush, wildfire snarling in his ears and sweeping across his vision. Power. This was power. Inside him, consuming the emptiness in an ever-expanding spiral, throbbing with an aching intensity that shook him to his very core._

_It's working, he tried to shout, hoping desperately that Lili could hear him._

_I know_._ The words flickered above the hiss and popping of flames. Hold on._

_The fires rose, rose again, blindingly bright, thunderously loud--and hunger snaked suddenly, ferociously through him. _ Good God_, he shuddered, reeling, clinging to her hands as the last trace of reality left to him in the inferno of fire and need crashing relentlessly over him. But she was burning, too--he could taste her in his mouth, could feel his hips grinding into hers and a seeming instant later, the first trembling demands of her body open and arching beneath him. Then she twisted and the firestorm twisted with her and somehow she sucked the heat and the hunger away _and for a startling split second he could hear his own harsh breathing and hers--knew they were somehow on the ground--could feel their arms stretched above her head and their hands fused together in a white-knuckled grip--

And then _a glittering, crimson firestorm surged inexorably up from the depths of his soul and blasted through his eyes. His power, alive and furiously aflame, searing along his every nerve, shattering the emptiness, its whining hum a stunning harmony beneath the roaring of wildfire and its fiery incandescence twining sinuously with dancing, white-hot flames._

_Flames--she was still burning with him--they were still burning-- Her hands--he still held her hands. He couldn't tear his mouth from hers, couldn't stop the driving rhythm of his body, but he _would not _let go of her hands. But again she twisted, again the heat and the need coiled around her and detonated and again--_

He could see. Power flowed hotly from his eyes, but he could see. Her face, her eyes, her hair splayed around her and the ground underneath her--he could see it all, and all of it was crimson. And he could hear again. Power sang within him, but he heard their desperate, gasping breaths breaking the silence of the night. The inferno was gone, leaving him feeling more cold and empty than ever before, but he could smell it, could taste it on their lips, could still feel it in the fading heat of their twined hands and the shudders wracking both his hard, tight body and the soft, trembling one beneath him.

"Scott?" Lili breathed.

She'd said his name once before in cold and darkness and saved his sanity. But this time the word razored through his soul, because this time, there was nothing behind it.

_He still couldn't remember._ An inexplicable power filled him, but not his memories. He still didn't have a home or a family or love or that school or any friends or history or _anything_ except three days with Lili. He'd tried not to hope too much--even thought he'd done a good job of keeping it in check--but he looked now at the crushed remains of his hope, choking his breath and shredding his strength and his heart, and finally understood with icy clarity the depth of the lie he'd told himself.

"Are you all right?" Lili pressed. "Do you remember?"

He felt the words against his mouth more than he heard them. He should get off her. Make sure he hadn't hurt or embarrassed her, say something so she stopped looking at him with such worry in her eyes. But that gentle touch of her lips against his as she spoke sent heat lancing back into every corner of his body, tightening his muscles and setting his pounding heart and his still hard, throbbing shaft to aching once more with need, and instead Scott closed his eyes and groaned his need and his anguish into her mouth and he kissed her.

She'd found him, saved his life, given him back his power… and now she made a soft, gentle sound of both confusion and surrender and opened her mouth to him. He deepened his kiss, sinking into her warmth and her strength and her generous giving, desperate to be closer to the only person in the entire world who was fighting for him.

He wanted to touch her--_needed_ to touch her--but Lili hadn't let go of his hands yet and he didn't know if he could. Scott broke the kiss, raising his head enough to stare down into the depths of her smoldering eyes, and slowly relaxed his grip.

"It's all right," she said thickly, answering his unspoken question with gentle tugs that slipped her hands from under his.

The freedom to touch her made him shudder and reach for her, cradling her to him and smoothing one hand along her cheek and leaning hungrily back down to her lips, but she took his face in her hands and stared up at him searchingly and he paused.

"Just breathe," she said, forcing a tremulous smile. "You'll be fine in a minute."

No he wouldn't. Because in a minute _he still wouldn't remember_. Scott shook his head. "Please, Lili," he rasped, pressing her hand to his mouth and nuzzling her fingers as he shifted restlessly against her. "I need you. I need to feel--"

"It's over," she soothed, still smiling at him, but she pulled her hand away from his mouth like he'd branded her and an immense sadness had crept into her eyes and filled her voice. "I promise, you won't feel like this in a minute."

Did she think he was still lost in the hunger of their burning together? "This isn't about the burning," he hoarsely denied, biting gently at her lower lip. She gasped, a broken sound of need that sent fire straight to the heart of him, and he trailed his mouth hotly across her cheek. "This is about you and me," he breathed into her ear, "and how badly I want--"

"You don't want _me_," she insisted, the words thick with dismay, and turned her head away, her hands pushing at his shoulders. "If you remembered you'd know that."

He ached for her, body and heart and soul, _needed_ to be close to her, but Lili didn't want him after all and Scott could no more deny the pain echoing in her voice and shaking her body than he could remember his own mother. He rolled off her and just laid there, struggling to breathe, on the cold ground with a distant array of crimson stars far above him. He was… lost again. No--not _again._ He'd been lost all along. Lost and desperately alone in a frozen world that he didn't remember, reaching and coming up so horribly empty that he closed his eyes on it all and ripped the visor away.

"Scott," Lili gasped, shifting franticly upright next to him. "What are you _doing_?"

"That's just it," he choked, covering his closed eyes with hands that shook. But even the darkness behind his lids was that same damned red. "I don't know. I thought I did, but that was all a lie."

"No, it wasn't," she protested. "Just give yourself some more time. Give _us_ more time. We got you out of that forest and we got your power back and we _will _figure out what to do next, I pro--"

"No," he swore harshly. "Don't make me any more promises, Lili. You can't guarantee I'll remember."

"Maybe not, but I canguarantee I won't give up," she vowed.

Scott dropped his hands and blindly turned his head away from her. "I'd have died if you hadn't come looking for me. Without you, I wouldn't even know my own name. You've been amazing, Lili, and I'm grateful. But I can't be like this any more."

She went so still that he could almost believe she wasn't sitting next to him any more. "I don't understand," she finally whispered.

"You're all I have," he softly explained, "but all by yourself, you fill me up with warmth whenever I feel cold, and every time the silence in my head gets to me, you say or do something and pull me out of it again. When I needed more than that, you even risked your life to give it to me and you actually did it--you actually made me Cyclops again. But I need even more than that now, and it's finally more than you can give. I'm sorry, Lili. Truly sorry. I didn't understand I was asking for too much when I kissed you."

She was silent for so long that he started to wonder if she'd ever speak to him again. But finally she moved and he felt her hand settle lightly on his shoulder. "I have your visor here, Scott. Will you put it back on? Please?"

A heavy weight settled around his heart. He wasn't ready yet to believe he could do this alone. He nodded anyway and opened his hand. Better that he spend the rest of his life in this suffocating emptiness than hurt the one person who'd tried to help him.

But she didn't hand anything to him. Instead he felt her lean over him, and then the visor was sliding smoothly over his eyes.

Scott sighed, bracing himself for the inescapable reality of a cold, lonely, crimson world, and opened his eyes, only to stare wordlessly at the sight of Lili, still leaning over him, a hand to each side of his head as she stared back down.

"I wanted you to be looking at me when I say this," she explained.

He had no idea what she thought she had to say, but whatever it was, he owed her far too much not to listen. He nodded again.

"I will never leave you to handle this alone, Scott. Never. I didn't ask you to stop because you were asking too much of me or… or because I didn't want you. I asked you to stop because when you finally do remember, you'll also remember you don't want _me_, and I can't…." She took a deep breath and sank slowly back on her heels. "I won't take advantage of the fact that you can't remember things you've already told me. Your friendship means far too much to me."

He sat up, his eyes never leaving her face, his mind whirling with questions about everything she'd just said. "You wanted me?" he asked first.

"Yes," she admitted, soft and low, her cheeks heating and her hands twisting tensely in her lap. "You're an amazing man, Scott--the best I've ever met--and if I'm honest with myself, I've wanted to be close to you from the beginning. But you love Jean and you always--"

"That's not fair," he protested, rising to his knees and clasping her shoulders. "You can't tell me what I feel because I don't feel that way now and I don't remember feeling that way before." He pulled her to him and slanted his mouth across hers in a quick, hard kiss. "This is all I know, Lili," he breathed the words against her cheek. "There's just you and me and how empty and alone I am without you."

"Except it isn't just you and me," she whispered miserably, her hands fisting in his shirt.

He would have laughed if she hadn't been so deadly serious. So he raised his hands to cup her face and kissed her again, tenderly. "Who else do you think is here?"

Slowly she straightened, opening her fists and flattening her shaking hands against his chest as she took a deep breath. Bracing herself. For what? He tensed, trying to brace himself, too, but Lili raised her eyes to his and the pain there sucked the breath from him. "Scott, Phoenix isn't just any another mutant."

"Of course she isn't," he blinked at her, struggling to see where Lili was going. "How could she be, when she's the one who killed your Professor and almost killed me? Why are you bringing her up now?"

"Because," she faltered, then said the rest of it in a sharp, swelling rush. "Phoenix is a part of Jean."

"Jean," he stupidly repeated, not believing her, but the truth of her words was open and bare in her sad, scared eyes. _Jean?_ He froze, his hands still touching the soft skin of Lili's face, his body twined with hers and still thrumming distantly with desire, her mouth a mere instant away from his as they knelt in the dirt miles and miles from nowhere. But now there was someone with them after all. "You said Jean died." He couldn't have kept the accusation from his voice if he'd tried.

Lili winced at his tone, but she didn't dodge the unspoken question. "Jean Grey was crushed beneath tons of water when the dam at Alkali Lake collapsed. We had a memorial service for her, Scott. There's a headstone for her in the gardens at the school. We _all_ mourned her, you most of all. It almost broke you to lose her."

"And?" he prompted tensely.

"And then you went back to the lake," she said, softly now, pressing on as he started to shake, "and whatever happened when you got there, Jean's alternate personality awoke and everyone but me thought Phoenix had killed you."

Phoenix was Jean, and Jean was Phoenix, and Phoenix had…

"How could this woman I'm supposed to love do this to me?" he demanded, the words harsh and ugly in his mouth and mind and his aching heart. "_I can't remember_. _I have nothing_ except what _you've_ given me. How could she take everything like that--didn't Jean love me back?"

"Jean loved you more than her own life," Lili swore to him. "She lifted an entire jet out of the way and sacrificed her life for yours when that dam collapsed. And I think she saved you again when Phoenix attacked you."

"_How?_" he snapped bitterly, dropping his hands to clutch hard at her arms. "By dumping what little was left of me in the snow and _leaving me there_?"

"By hiding you from Phoenix," she tried to soothe him. "By sending me to find you and trusting me to keep you safe and bring you back."

But he wasn't in the mood to be soothed. "Don't defend her to me," he warned. "She took my life and then she disappeared and left you to clean everything up and risked yours as well."

"But that's not-- That's _not_ the way it happened."

"Isn't it?" he challenged.

"Jean _loves_ you," Lili insisted.

"Then were the hell is she now?"

"Our first responsibility is to our powers," she said, patiently, and he half turned away because there was no patience left in him. Lili dragged him back around. "Which _you_ told me more than once. The Professor said that Jean is still there somewhere, fighting Phoenix for control of her own mind and incredible abilities, and even though she hasn't won yet, that battle isn't necessarily over. Jean could still come back to you, Scott, and if you and I--"

"I don't remember her," he said flatly, and crushed Lili to him, desire sparking hot and hard between them once more, shortening his breath and hers at the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest and his thigh between hers. "And I can't wait any more to be the man who does. I can't live like that, only caring about what I don't have. _We tried_. We risked our lives to try, and _I still don't remember_. This is who I am now, Lili. This is all I am and it's all I may ever be and I need you to accept that."

"I-- I don't know if I can," she faltered. "Because I _do_ remember who and what you are."

"_Were_," he corrected harshly.

She touched his face with gentle, shaking fingers. "The only things I know about love, I learned from watching you and Jean. Then _and now_, you're not the kind of man who would ever knowingly betray that love. And I don't want to be the one who lets you."

"That love is gone," he said, his voice and his heart heavy with the sadness of it all. "Phoenix tried to kill it, and Jean didn't save it with the rest of me if she did in fact somehow hide me in that forest. _It's gone_ and I can't get it back. I'm not even sure I want it back."

"You don't mean that," she gasped.

"You're not listening, Lili," he groaned, gentling his hands on her. "I'm so empty it hurts. I've been trying to go back to find what I lost, but I can't do that any more. The more I learn about what happened the more I feel like somehow I came up short. They left me there, _all_ of them--this woman who's supposed to love me, the Professor who's supposed to be like a father to me--everyone you tell me I was important to. So even if my memory does come back I won't be the same man or feel the same things about any of them because I know now that when I needed them the most, _they weren't there_. There was only you--there _is_ only you--and I've got to take what I know and feel _right now_ and go forward. With you, Lili. _Please_ tell me you understand."

"I do," she softly swore, "and I already told you I won't leave you, Scott. Whatever you want to do next, I'll be right there with you. But I can't put the past aside that easily and neither should you. For one thing, it's only been three days, and we've already come so far. And for another… anything less would be a betrayal of the best man I know--_you_."

"But who am I?" he snapped bitterly. "_Who the hell am I?_ All I've got is three days with you and lasers shooting out of my eyes."

"Scott," Lili gently chided him. "You are so much more than that. You're a leader, a tactician, a pilot, a--"

"Those are just words," he shook his head, pushing away and rising. "Things I can do. They're not who I am."

"Aren't they?" she challenged, climbing to her feet. Lili threw her arms wide. "Look at where we are. We followed your instincts to the middle of nowhere and risked our lives to get your power back because you _know_ you're supposed to be a part of what's happening with Magneto and Phoenix. Doesn't that tell you the kind of man you are? And what did you think you were going to do next, if this had brought your memory back, too?"

"Find a way to help," he shrugged, restlessly running his hands through his hair.

"Don't you see?" Lili stepped in front of him, raising her hands to cup his face and smiling up at him. "Scott, that's who you are."

She had such faith in him. He couldn't remember what he'd done to earn that faith, but it shone there in her eyes and shook him to the depths of his soul. Lili believed in him. He'd felt that all along. It wasn't just a connection between their powers that had led her to him in that cold, dark forest or led him to the middle of the desert in the middle of the night. It was the way she believed in him, and helped him believe in himself, even when he couldn't remember. It was why he trusted her and why, now, he was beginning to understand who and what he was.

"Three days with you," he softly repeated, grinning crookedly back at her, "and lasers shooting out of my eyes. But I guess that's all I need. We have to go, Lili."

X3 Sixteen

Everything was suddenly moving too fast. Her heart sank, but Lili took a deep breath and somehow kept the spark of fear out of her voice. "You're going after Phoenix?"

But Scott shook his head. "I don't have that clear an objective. I've looked at what's happening strategically and I know that Magneto's next target will be the Worthington facility on Alcatraz where the cure is manufactured. Phoenix will be with him, and the X-Men will undoubtedly make their stand there. If we want to help--if we want answers--then that's where we have to go. Every instinct I've got is telling me that this is all going to play out on Alcatraz."

Scott was needed. She'd known that. She'd fought to get him back in time to help. And she would never stand in the way of his search for answers about what had happened to him. She just hadn't imagined she'd be expected to let him go into such appalling danger without his memory. But she didn't have a choice, did she? It simply didn't matter how scared she was. He was right. "We'll call Storm and Logan from the car," she finally nodded, her throat tight, and turned to head back.

Scott stopped her with a firm tug on her arm. "No."

The fear sparked into anger and Lili whirled. "What do you mean, _no_? You can't fight this war alone."

"I won't be alone."

"But you--" _Oh, no. He couldn't mean…_ "_Me_?" she choked.

"You're the only one I trust."

"I'm trained to _perform_," she balked, disbelieving, "not to fight!"

"Lili," he soothed, his voice and hands and eyes softening with understanding as he took her face in his hands and kissed her, so delicately it took her breath away. "I know you're afraid--I am, too. Just listen to me for a second," he urged, and she clutched at his arms and tried to ignore the emotions churning in her chest and stared desperately up at him.

"I'm listening," she said hoarsely.

"The X-Men didn't come after me--you did. And the X-Men haven't called you once to check up on either you or your search, just your friend Marie. You yourself haven't trusted them enough to bring me to them before this or even to let them know I'm alive. So why should I trust them with what I need now, when it's painfully clear that--however good their reasons might be--I'm not all that important to them?"

That wasn't even close to the whole story, but it was true nonetheless. She'd said almost the same things to the Professor. How much must that have hurt him to say? "I'm so sorry, Scott," she managed.

"For what?"

"For everything you've been through. The Professor, Storm--they didn't understand what you were going through. I didn't, either. And then it was too late, and they had no choice but to put Phoenix and this war with Magneto first. But you _can_ trust them, Scott. They made some hard choices, yes, and I know what that must look like. But I also know that you would have made the same decisions. And that Storm and Logan would give anything to have you back, fighting at their side again."

"Maybe I'd agree with you if I remembered." Scott shook his head, slowly, deliberately. "But I doubt it. They didn't come after me, and that's something I'll never forget, even if I do someday understand it. Right now, though, all I've got are those instincts you keep reminding me about, and they're telling me that whatever happens next, you and I will handle it just like we've handled everything else in the last three days, by working together and trusting each other."

"In a fight?" she pressed, her stomach clenching. "Against an army of mutants, when I've only ever fought a handful of soldiers, _once_? And what about Phoenix? Exactly what do you think you or I can do against the most powerful mutant ever born, when she's already nearly killed you? Do you even have a plan?"

"Get to Alcatraz, assess the situation, go from there."

"You're kidding."

"Did you have any more of a plan than that when you ran straight into that explosion?"

"That was a rescue," she protested, "not a full scale battle."

"I'm not saying we have to fight a full scale battle alone, Lili," he said calmly. "Just that the X-Men have their priorities, and you and I have ours, and right now we don't have the time for emotional reunions and long explanations."

"_No_. There _is_ time, _right now_, at least to explain and warn them to expect you, but there won't be later," she insisted. "You can't just show up on Alcatraz. That kind of distraction could get everyone killed."

"We'll have to chose our moment carefully," Scott agreed. But then his eyes went suddenly hard, his gaze sharp enough to cut. "But you said it yourself--if the X-Men don't know I'm coming, then there's no way for Phoenix to find out, and that little bit of surprize may be the only edge we'll have against her."

She sucked in a startled breath and stilled, every nerve in her body stinging with the raw, inescapable truth crashing through her.

_They were going to Alcatraz. And they would fight._

This was what it meant to be an X-Man, to have power and make the hard choices. To risk yourself to help others. It was terrifying. But there was no turning back. She'd come too far. _This _was where everything had been leading her… what she'd finally made of her life without Max or anyone else making decisions for her.

"I understand," she said.

His eyes searched hers. "That's it? No more arguments? We're doing this?"

Not _trying_, but _doing_. She liked that. "We're doing this."

Scott kissed her, hard, and pulled her into his arms. "Don't ever leave me, Lili," he swore softly into her hair.

"I won't," she said thickly, fists clenched in his shirt. _Not until the day you ask me to go._ "I promise."

"Come on," he urged. "I've got some practicing to do."

They ran, and for nearly the entire mile back to the SUV Scott experimented with the visor controls he didn't actually remember how to use until he wasn't missing any more. It felt good, to be _doing _something, to be acting instead of reacting, to watch Scott take another step back to himself and to make a choice for herself and feel the rightness of it in her bones. To run straight into the explosion. Except… what was her mother going to say? She'd have to call before they left. There was no way she could just disappear and leave her mother to worry like that again.

Dawn lightened their way, finally breaking over them as they reached the SUV, and Lili still had no idea what to say to her mother.

"What's wrong?" Scott asked, pulling the vehicle around and back to the road.

"My mother isn't going to understand this," Lili sighed. "What do I tell her?"

Scott handed her his cell phone. "The truth, Lili. She deserves no less."

"And what truth is that?" she snorted, dialing the number. "We're both out of our minds?"

"We're both needed," he softly countered.

Her mother answered on the third ring, sounding sleepy and a little bit grumpy at being awakened. _"Hello?"_

She must not know yet that they'd left. Lili couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. "It's me, Mom."

_"Lili? Where on earth are you at this hour of the morning?"_

Less grumpy, more worried. Just like any mother. "You sound so normal," Lili almost laughed. But then the laughter stuck in her throat. "I wish I had a normal answer for you."

_"What's happening, Lili?"_ Sharply now. With fear. Her mother was no fool.

"You've been watching the news, Mom. You must have known Scott and I would get involved sooner or later."

_"I was hoping for later,"_ Charlotte admitted.

"Me, too," Lili replied. "But this is who I am now, Mom."

_"That may be, but you're still my daughter. Would you… would you stay if I asked you to?"_

"Please don't," Lili said softly, and when her mother didn't say anything else, Lili took a deep breath and turned to stare out at the landscape rushing past. "I used to think I'd paid a terrible price for this power. It was useless and it had taken me away from my family and my life and any happiness I might have found. But that was Max's doing, wasn't it? And now I finally understand, this power isn't useless--_I'm_ not useless. I can do things that no one else can do. I can use this power to help people. To do good things and make a difference. I know I'm asking a lot, Mom, but I need you to tell me that you understand why I have to go. Please?"

The silence was long and thick with worry and Lili's heart was pounding. She didn't know if she could do this against her mother's wishes. But finally her mother sighed. _"I understand, sweetheart. Just don't ask me to like it. You'll be careful?"_

"I will," Lili managed. But she didn't promise. She couldn't. Not knowing what was at stake. And especially not in a fight against Phoenix. "I love you."

_"I love you, too, Lili. And I'm very proud of you."_

"Thanks, Mom. I'll talk to you soon," Lili whispered, and disconnected the call before her mother could say good-bye. There was only so much she could handle.

God, she was tired. Lili let her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes, willing the churning in her stomach to go away. This was right. She knew that. But that didn't mean she felt in any way prepared for what she'd just agreed to do. At least she wasn't alone any more. She shifted, opening her eyes to look at Scott just as he glanced over at her.

"We'll get through this, Lili," he reassured her.

She hoped. God, how she hoped. Lili nodded and smiled at him and closed her eyes. She couldn't sleep. She was far too keyed up for that. But the sounds of the engine and the road were soothing, and by the time Scott parked the car at the airport two hours later she felt rested.

The arrangements were smoothly and swiftly made, and before Lili knew it they were back in the little Piper Seneca again, heading west toward Alcatraz and the cure and Magneto and his war and Phoenix… and maybe even back to Jean, and the rest of the X-Men.

_Please, please, please,_ Lili thought, staring down at the landscape as they climbed and everything grew smaller and smaller. _Be there, Jean. Be stronger than Phoenix. It doesn't matter what Scott said or how I feel about him now. We need you back. _He_ needs you back. And I don't think any of us will survive this if you're not._

"What are you thinking?" Scott gently prompted.

Lili cleared her throat and searched wildly for another topic. She didn't really want to talk about Jean. "Just that I don't have one of those code names mutants always seem to take," she blurted.

He wasn't fooled, but he didn't press her, either. Instead he started talking about the plane's controls, distracting them both by teaching her how to handle the aircraft. Hours and a lot of miles passed that way, until finally there was nothing but water under them. San Francisco Bay. Lili leaned forward, and there in the middle of the bay rose Alcatraz Island.

Scott circled. "They've already fortified the buildings," he murmured, pointing with his chin.

Wordlessly Lili nodded. This was so far over her head.

"Wait," he continued, narrowed eyes still searching. "Something's happening at the bridge."

He angled the plane toward the shore, and as they flew over Lili realized she was actually watching the Golden Gate Bridge _tear free from its moorings at one end to begin inching slowly around to Alcatraz Island_.

_Magneto_.

"It's started," Scott said grimly. "Hang on. I'll put us down in the park."

He _put them down_ hard and fast, and before Lili knew it they were on the ground and taxiing through the lowering darkness across a neatly tended expanse of grass, and then Scott was swiftly shutting the aircraft down.

Everything was changing again. Obviously, inevitably, with a frightening speed. But at least this time she'd chosen the path herself, with her eyes wide open.

"Let's go," Scott finally said, reaching for his door. But emotions flooded her and Lili grabbed his other hand and stopped him. He paused, turning to look back at her.

"I just wanted to tell you," she said, struggling to sound calm and strong and as sure as she felt, "that I don't have any regrets, Scott. Not about anything. Whatever happens, I know we're doing the right thing."

His eyes softened, and he brought her fingers to his mouth for a swift kiss. "Me, too." And then he was Cyclops again. "Let's go, Lili."

She climbed out of the Piper Seneca and caught up to him, and then they ran. Not far to the edge of the park, only a few blocks to the highway, but everything was already chaos as people reacted to the outrageous sight and thunderous sound and earth-shaking feel of the Golden Gate Bridge _moving_. Until suddenly, shockingly, just as they reached the shuddering highway, it stopped, settled, and for a moment, all was silence.

And then from across the bay came the distant, but unmistakable sounds of battle.

And from somewhere close by but in the other direction came the distinctive sounds and comparatively gentle vibrations of tanks.

Wordlessly Scott grabbed her hand and scrambled onto the highway and started winding his way through the logjam of crashed cars and hushed, stunned people, and breathlessly Lili followed close at his side. The silence on the displaced bridge was unsettling. The screams and shrieks of battle, growing steadily louder as they crossed, were terrifying.

Could she do this? Before she'd been protecting the children in her care, but… Could she actually, intentionally kill to protect an intangible freedom?

An explosion on the island lit the night and shook the already unstable bridge and Lili stumbled, Scott's hand tightening on hers to keep pulling her forward with him. The X-Men were making their stand, and Scott was headed straight to them to do the same, even without his memory. Lili took a deep breath and brought herself swiftly to power. The children may not be there with her in the line of fire, but she was protecting them nonetheless. This was her fight as much as any other mutant's, or anyone else who believed in what was right.

"This fog can't be normal," Scott suddenly gasped. He glanced back at her, eyebrow raised. "Could this be the X-Men's doing?"

"Probably," Lili agreed. "Storm can do this."

"I wonder what they need cover for," he murmured, looking around, and then suddenly he ducked right and pulled her down with him behind the corner of a car turned somehow on its side. "Careful now," he whispered. "We're close."

"I know," she breathed, and winced as another explosion detonated ahead. _She wasn't ready for this_. But Scott eased around the upturned car and Lili swallowed hard and followed him. They crawled past the last dozen or so wrecks, up an increasingly steep curl that no normal road would ever make, until finally they could peer over the edge down into the battle on Alcatraz Island.

The devastation was extraordinary, charred rock and crumbled buildings, shattered debris that she couldn't even identify flung in every direction, with bodies strewn from one end of the battlefield to the other. And over it all, wave after wave of unthinkable power emanated across the battlefield rending everything in its path to shreds. And there in the middle of everything and everyone scrambling for their lives… stood _Phoenix_.

Not Jean.

Lili's heart sank. And for the first time, she understood to the depths of her soul what they were up against and why the Professor had made the choices he had. Power to power, a raging, unstable Phoenix truly was unstoppable.

And then Scott went rigid, and Lili realized that someone was walking _through_ the deadly waves, straight to Phoenix. Logan.

"What's that maniac doing?" Scott hissed, half rising out of their hiding place.

Realization razored through her. "Logan's healing power," Lili gasped. "It might keep him whole enough long enough to get to her."

"It won't work," Scott snapped. "Even if he makes it, he'll never get a hand on her. She's too powerful."

And then she understood, too, the rest of Logan's plan becoming achingly clear to her. "Oh, God," Lili breathed, her hands curling into fists on the cold, hard ground as she watched him take step after agonizing, inexorable step. They'd failed to contain Phoenix, they'd failed to reason with her, and they'd given up on finding a way to bring Jean back. That only left one option. But Scott was right. Logan didn't stand a chance.

Scott's hand closed tightly around her arm. "Lili."

She couldn't tear her eyes from Phoenix and Logan's titanic struggle. "What can we do?"

"Distract her," he said, and something in his voice left her suddenly, bitterly cold and pulled her fearfully around to face him.

"No," she choked.

He crushed her to him for a brief, fiery kiss, then held her face hard between his hands and held her gaze ruthlessly with his. "Phoenix thinks I'm dead. If I show myself, just as he gets to her, it might shock her enough that either Jean can gain control and stop this… or maybe Logan can."

_Help him_, Jean had said. _Protect him_.

Instead she'd brought Scott straight back into Phoenix's line of fire. Lili stared up into those hard crimson eyes--blue, she suddenly, absurdly remembered--they were a heart-stopping blue behind that lens--and knew as she'd never known anything else in her life that _nothing_ mattered except stopping Phoenix.

Nothing.

Wordlessly Lili reached for Scott and raised her face to his for one last, fiercely loving kiss. Then she let him go. One final caress of her cheek, and he turned to watch the battle once more.

Lili took a deep breath and stoked the flames within to a howling inferno.

Scott tensed, gathering himself. _Almost time_. She pushed the flames higher.

Finally, swiftly, he stood and stepped clear, and through a raging firestorm Lili heard Scott call an oddly gentle command to Jean to _stop this_.

If Logan heard he didn't look away from his goal, and Jean didn't answer, either. But Phoenix did, blasting another shock wave of energy, this one straight toward Scott. He didn't move. Lili did. A peace she'd never known in her entire life settled over her, and calmly Lili gave herself to the fire and rose.

_Rushing flames crackled and roared and burst within her, the heat soaring to supernova, to basic, primal, elemental combustion. She reached deep within the heat and let it take her, all she was, everything she might one day be…_

… _and the heat climbed even higher. Shining, incandescent, she was pure energy, nothing but power afire, because she willed it to be so. She was wildfire at her core, wildfire in her thoughts, wildfire at her heart and soul, with only one purpose, one goal, what Jean had begged her to do… what Lili knew to be right, and the best of all that she had become._

_She reached out with a delicate flicker of heat and pushed Scott back, behind her, offering what protection she could, and stepped into the wave of Phoenix's destruction alone._

_The molten fury of a phoenix crashed into the blazing flames of wildfire in an explosion of blinding light and rampant heat and thunderous, shattering pain. Light shimmered and melded with light, heat sheared through heat in a sizzling rush, and power consumed power in a searing flow that sprayed high and broke over her and swept her strength and her will and the last of the flames away--_

--and left her empty, spent, as cold and brittle as ice and falling helplessly into endless darkness.

X3 Seventeen

The light was too bright to be borne, the heat deadly and merciless, but none of it touched him--_none of it_. Scott closed his eyes behind the crimson visor and threw his arms up and recoiled from the explosion of incomprehensible power against power right in front of him--nearly on top of him--and yet _none _of the light or the heat touched him. He was still whole, still alive.

Because Lili had shielded him.

No. _No_. Not again. Not--

Darkness howled crushing back down around him and Scott whirled--and lunged, reaching franticly for Lili as she collapsed.

_God, she was cold--so cold--not moving, not breathing--_

"_Lili_," he snapped hoarsely, shaking her, clutching at her, but there was nothing from her, no sounds or words or movement or _anything_, she was cold and lifeless and limp in his arms, and fear and fury and agonizing loss exploded in his chest and he was alone, so desperately alone, what had she done, _what the hell had she done_, and the emptiness within him swelled in an icy rush and he sagged with the weight of it, shattered by its totality, stunned by its finality… and the aching familiarity of it all socked the breath from his lungs.

_Oh… God. He'd felt this way before, lived through this moment before, _known_ this shocking sacrifice and awful loss and appalling pain…_

Jean.

Slowly, cold, heavy dread welling in him, Scott raised his eyes to the battle below.

Logan shifted, punched his arm forward, and three shining claws plunged ruthlessly into Phoenix--and burning memory lanced pitilessly through Scott's mind and heart and aching soul. His parents his childhood the Professor _Jean_ his friends his students his power his mission Jean's death--_her death_-- His life… He had his life back. All of it. _All of it. Her death. Professor!_ The pieces of his life whirled and pierced in a sharp, glittering array and fell with stunning clarity into place. _And left him just as empty and alone as…_

No.

Scott closed his eyes against the loneliness and inescapable loss that threatened to break him and instead he reached, with his hands, to cradle Lili close, with his mind, for some last, fleeting glimpse of Jean. With his heart, for the woman he'd loved in his first life, and the woman he'd loved so briefly in his second.

Time paused, a breath held, a heartbeat suspended. But he wasn't afraid. Peace wafted gently through him. Light stretched across the darkness and warmed him. And joyous love welcomed him home.

_My love, my love!_ Jean sang in his mind. _You're here!_

He didn't question, didn't doubt. He simply answered. _I love you, Jean. I will always love you. And I will always be here for you._

_Oh, Scott,_ she faltered. _I thought I'd always be here for you, too, but… I can't hide from the truth any more. You are the best part of me, love. And once you made me feel whole. Safe. You were my home. But now I finally understand _all_ of what I am and…_

Sorrow pierced his heart. But there was only room for the truth. _And I am not enough to make you whole. Not any more. Maybe… I never was. You need Logan, don't you?_

_I need you both. Please understand. Your love gives me hope. Your trust is my strength. But the part of me that is Phoenix doesn't know anything about love or trust, only pain and death and destruction. Logan's love accepts that--and that acceptance is what Phoenix craves above all else, even to the point of letting him kill us both. Now, finally, she's vulnerable. And now, finally, I have the strength to do what I must._

_What you must?_

_I have to… put myself together. Find a place for every part of me, with everything balanced. I have to make _myself_ whole._

_Then do it!_

_I can't do it here, Scott. Not… where a part of me has killed. Where I could kill again. I can't let others continue to pay the price for who and what I am._

_Jean, what happened to the Professor?_

_I'm… not sure. At the end, he wouldn't let go. He just… went someplace she couldn't follow. I hope he'll find his way back, but… I don't know._

_I can't really believe he's dead. I didn't think anyone or anything would ever be more powerful than him._

_I didn't either. I certainly didn't expect a part of _me_ to be capable of hurting him. But he couldn't contain Phoenix. It was a mistake to try. And because of that mistake he couldn't reach her to integrate her. I have to do that. Alone._

_Then where will you go? And for how long?_

_I can't explain where. It's a different time, a different plane, a different space, it's… elsewhere. And I don't know how long. Until I'm whole. Perhaps a moment. Or perhaps…_

He understood. He remembered now. They were mutants. Their first responsibility _had_ to be to their powers. But understanding couldn't stop his heart from breaking. After everything, she was leaving. And after everything, she might not ever come back to him.

_You are my home, Scott. Always. Wherever I am, whatever I become. I love you._

_And I love you._

_Don't grieve, my love. Tell everyone. I want you to live and love and take care of each other. Promise me._

_I promise, Jean._

Love swelled, an endless moment that encompassed the depth and breadth and fullness of everything in his heart and hers--and time snapped inescapably back into place.

There was darkness again, and cold, and Scott gasped, sitting once more in the middle of the sights and sounds and smells of death and destruction with Lili lying still in his arms. And not far from where he sat, Phoenix lay dying in Logan's.

But the love was still there, still growing, full of hope and joy and extraordinary promise. _Jean._ Letting him see and _feel_ what she was doing. With a strength she'd never found in herself before, Jean finally took control, giving Phoenix no choice and no chance. She simply, totally, inexorably gathered her into that love and… was suddenly gone.

And as her loving presence slipped from his mind with one last, joyous caress, Lili arched, gasping, reaching blindly out as somewhere, somehow, Scott heard the unmistakable sound of Jean's laughter.

"Lili," he breathed, disbelieving, and laughed out loud himself as he took her hand gently in his. _Oh, Jean. Whatever you did… thank you._

Lili blinked up at him, dazed and lost, and Scott pressed a soft, grateful kiss to her palm and held her closer.

"It's all right now, Lili," he soothed. "Everything is going to be fine."

"But I thought I was dead," she shuddered, hard, clinging to him.

"Not today," he said lightly, relinquishing her hand to cradle her cheek in his palm. "Just rest for a few minutes, all right?"

"What happened?" She shook her head, glancing around as she tried to sit up. And then she stilled, and he knew she'd seen. Her gaze swiveled up to his, soft and liquid with sorrow. "Oh, Scott. I'm so sorry."

"Jean's not dead," he said thickly, brushing Lili's tousled hair back over her shoulder. "She's just not here any more."

"Then where is she?" Lili softly pressed.

"Somewhere safe. Somewhere she can integrate Phoenix and make herself whole."

"That doesn't sound like a place where you can follow her."

"No," he sighed. "I had to let her go. She has to do this alone. At least this time I had the chance to say good-bye."

"This time?" Lili blinked up at him. And then it hit her, her eyes lighting with dawning hope and wonder as she clasped his arm. "Scott--your memory?"

Scott closed his eyes for a long moment, sifting through memories, savoring the fullness in his heart and mind, then finally smiled at her. "It's all there. Every last moment."

"How?" she breathed. "When?"

"When I thought I'd lost you," he replied, sternly, a hint of accusation in his voice.

She flushed. And then she raised her chin a notch. "It's what you would have done if you could have. Or Jean, or Storm, or any of the X-Men."

"And you were worried you wouldn't know what to do in a battle," he softly, wryly chuckled. "I guess we'll have to figure out a name for you, and order another uniform."

She took a long, deep breath, a peace he'd never seen in her settling gently over her. "I wasn't sure I'd ever get to this point."

"I never doubted it," he replied.

A familiar sound drifted over them from above. He knew those engines. Scott glanced down to where Logan had lifted Jean's body into his arms and the X-Men were gathering, then up as the jet descended through the slowly dissipating fog.

Lili turned to watch, too. "They're going to be so relieved to see you. Shouldn't we go down?"

All he had to do was call out, and he and Lili would be on their way back to where they belonged, with the X-Men and Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. But he wasn't quite ready yet. He didn't need long, and neither would Lili. Just another couple of days, to rest and figure a few last things out.

"Why don't we take the long way home?" he suggested. "Through Texas."

She turned to him. "If you're sure. I know my mom would like that. So would I."

"Then I believe we've got a plane to collect," he grinned, rising and lifting her to her feet. "And come to think of it, I want my bike back."

X3 Eighteen

Five in the morning. She was never going to get back to sleep now. Lili frowned and turned off the alarm. She was just too wound up. And for what? For the first time in her life she had everything she wanted--her mother, a home with her _and_ at the school, her freedom, friends, a _purpose_. She even had money, thanks to Fly. No tension, no worries, no stress. No Max. Sorrow, yes, for the Professor and Jean. But Scott thought they would both be back someday, so there was plenty of hope there, too. So why couldn't she sleep?

Lili sighed and pushed the sheets aside and got out of bed and restlessly threw on her robe and padded barefoot through the house. But nothing on the television looked even remotely interesting. She didn't feel like reading, and a movie was definitely not going to hold her attention either. She wasn't hungry, and wouldn't last ten minutes on the internet. Maybe some fresh air in her mother's garden would calm whatever was eating at her.

She was reaching for the back door when the heat within her sparked, warning her that she wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. She knew who it was before she turned.

"I heard the television," Scott hesitated. He finally looked tired, standing barefoot there in the doorway, his hair and his t-shirt and the sweatpants he'd been sleeping in all rumpled. "Mind some company?"

Wordlessly Lili shook her head and opened the back door, heading for the swing tucked away in the back corner of the property. Maybe now they would talk. Except she didn't really know what to say to Scott. So much had happened, and things were somehow different between them. Maybe if they'd talked about everything right away, she wouldn't feel so awkward now. But while he'd been oddly energized--enough to fly them back to Sherman that night--she'd been exhausted and had slept almost the entire flight. Then they'd spent the day with her mother, and gone to her grandfather's for a huge family dinner. It had all been chatty and raucous and wonderfully warm and relaxed. She'd loved every single minute of it. There just hadn't been any time or privacy for the two of them to talk.

Half way through the garden, she couldn't take the silence any more. Even if she still didn't have any idea what to say. "Scott, I--"

A firm tug on her wrist pulled her back and around and into his arms. "Me first," he said softly.

Held close, shocked at the heat and hard strength of him so intimately against her, Lili stared up at him, her hands fisted against his back, and had to swallow, hard. "I thought… I thought once you remembered, you wouldn't…"

He was wearing the visor, its cold, smooth lines speaking to Scott's power and reminding her of his extraordinary control. Yet the hand he raised to smooth her hair free of the long, loose ponytail was trembling. "Wouldn't what?" he gently prompted. "Want you any more?"

She felt the heat rise in her face, hearing him put it into words so openly, and tried to ease out of his arms. "That was all about the burning, and you didn't know who you are then. But now that you're back--"

"Now that I'm back," he murmured, moving with her, his hand slipping lightly though her hair again, "I know who I am, and _everything_ that I feel. The love I have for Jean--that I will always have for her--was the cornerstone of my entire world. Loving Jean made me whole, and always gave me a place to start and a place to come home to. When I thought she'd died I was utterly lost. Until you came for me."

"That was still Jean," she insisted. "Jean reached out to you, Jean saved you, and _Jean_ sent me to find you."

He shook his head. "She couldn't have done that if there hadn't already been a connection between you and me--and I don't mean just between our powers. We've been friends from the start, Lili. We trusted each other, we believed in each other, and without that, however our powers tied us together, you wouldn't have found me in that forest."

"Of course we're friends," she smiled, relaxing, relieved to find herself back on familiar ground with him. "So you don't have to worry. I know how you feel about Jean, and I'm not going to hold you to anything that--"

He leaned in, his mouth brushing hers with the lightest of caresses, his arms strong around her and his hands warm and firm on her back, and she sucked in a startled breath and froze. "Let me finish," he said, soft and low, almost pleading, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity she'd never seen in him before. "You may know how I feel about Jean, but you don't know how I feel about you. When I couldn't remember, _you_ became that cornerstone, and I loved you for it. Lili, I still do."

"You can't love me," she choked, her heart thudding painfully in her chest.

"Why not?" he pressed, his hands restless on her back. "Because I love Jean, too? I thought I had everything with her, that we were everything to each other, but it turns out that couldn't have been farther from the truth. In the end, I wasn't enough for her and she _can't_ be enough for me. Her power is incomprehensible, and it _must _come first, and that meant we had no choice but to let each other go."

"I don't understand," Lili admitted. "You said you thought she'd be back someday."

"But as what?" he sighed, looking away, loss darkening his profile and sadness thick in his voice. "Will we even recognize her as human?"

"She'll always be Jean."

"No, if she comes back at all she'll be integrated. She'll be Jean _and_ Phoenix, balanced and whole, an entirely different and extraordinarily powerful being. We won't be able to feel or think about her or even _look_ at her as either of the parts she used to be. She won't be the woman I loved any more. Nor will I be the same man, after everything I've been through. Whether Jean comes back tomorrow or twenty years from now, it will never be that simple between us again."

"I… didn't think there would ever be _anything _that the two of you couldn't get past together."

"People with power have to make hard choices," Scott said hoarsely. But then he turned back to her, and the look on his face took her breath away. "But loving you isn't one of them."

Everything she'd ever once dreamed of having of love was there, glittering in Scott's ruby red eyes, shining in his gentle smile, warm in the hands that held her so closely to him. Max had crushed that dream with all the others, but… Somehow, she'd never really let go of any of them. She'd even made some of them come true. She'd found her mother, and made something good of herself. Did she have the courage now, to reach once more, this time… for love?

"What if I let you down?" she blurted. "What if you need more than I can give?"

"Lili," he breathed, one hand smoothing round to cup her cheek. "I've lost track of the number of times you've risked your life for me. There's nothing more for you to prove, _ever_, certainly not to me and I hope not to yourself. You always give everything you are, and what more could I or anyone else possibly ask?"

She trusted him. She always had, on some level. From the very beginning. She'd believed in him, and he'd taught her to believe in herself. After everything it was easy to be honest now, to give voice to the one fear left in her, and entrust it to the one man who'd proven time and again that he would _never_ lie to her.

"You could ask me to leave," she said, starkly, wide eyes searching his. "One day, when Jean comes back."

"But I won't." His gaze didn't waver, his touch still strong and sure as he caressed her jaw. "I will always love Jean, but that love wasn't enough, not for either of us, and I have to put it aside just as she has. Jean has moved on, and I have to do the same. More than that, I _want_ to move on. To something more, something stronger… To someone who trusts me with _everything_ she is, nothing hidden, nothing ever held back, and expects the same from me. To someone…"

Now he did falter and she waited, needing to hear everything he had to say.

Scott took a deep breath. "Who doesn't need or love or want anyone but me. Maybe that's selfish, but…"

She couldn't have turned away from his pain if her life had depended on it. "It's not," she reassured him, finally relaxing into his embrace and holding him closer. "It's not selfish, it's everything I could ever want. _You_ are everything I could ever want."

"Then love me, Lili," he groaned, lifting her mouth to his with a hand now trembling with need. "Let me love you."

He said the words against her lips, hot and soft in the night, running his hands roughly down, across her hips and the swell of her bottom, and pulling her relentlessly into his hardness and she gasped, "_Yes_," her fingers biting into his shoulders as he finally, _finally_ licked into her mouth in a searing kiss that set her heart and soul and trembling body afire.

He was everything and he wanted her--needed her--_loved her_--and whatever happened she wanted him and she wanted this and she opened her mouth to him as he kissed her, long and hot and deep, then teased her with the lightest of sweeps of his lips across hers and the gentlest of tugs on her lower lip until she groaned her frustration and smoothed her hands into his hair and pulled his mouth back into hers and this time she kissed him, in all the glorious ways he'd just taught her, until that wasn't enough any more.

She reached for him, tugging his t-shirt up until she could run her hands across the hot, hard skin of his stomach and his sides and his back and he shuddered and pulled his shirt off over his head and then he held her tighter, her breasts pressed to his chest with only the maddening cotton of her night shirt between them, his mouth demanding on hers as he backed her up, deeper into the garden, until she felt darker, cooler shadows close over them and the roughness of one of the trees at her back and then somehow her shoulders were bare, and her breasts, and when his hands covered them instead she tore her mouth away and arched hard and restlessly into his touch.

He laughed, softly, satisfied, against the skin of her neck as he nuzzled a path of slow, wet kisses down her neck and across her chest until he could twine his tongue around one hard, budding nipple, and she arched again, gasping his name as need sheared through her and she clung to him. But he was far from done with her, there was more for her to learn and feel, and he grazed one nipple with his teeth and the other with his thumb and then he sucked her breast into his mouth and she jolted violently with the heat and the piercing shards of hunger that razored through her with each ungentle tug on her breasts.

And deep within she felt her power crackle to life, wildfire rushing through her. She tried to bank it, tried to contain the searing need and ferocious heat, but Scott's hands snaked hard and demanding up her thighs, under her nightshirt, cupping her, relentlessly stirring the embers to life, and he raised his head, abandoning her breast and taking her hungry cries into his mouth with another long, drugging kiss as he smoothed her panties down and away and she reveled in the feel of his hands on her bare skin.

"Hold on," he whispered roughly, pressing her hands to his shoulders, and then he slid down her, to his knees, and she stared as the heat swirled and he kissed and suckled his way up her thighs and between her legs and finally to the hot, wet delta of her thighs. He licked into her and she bucked with the roiling, thunderous roar of flames. He lifted one trembling thigh over his shoulder, then the other, opening her to his mouth, but this was Scott, making her feel every tug and lick and nip to its fullest, and she gave herself to whatever he wanted, to the fires he stoked to such relentless fury. And then she reached the precipice, and with another wicked twist of his tongue he pushed her over, the flames licking through her high and hard and fast.

She rode out that first, blistering explosion of pleasure, but it wasn't enough. She needed him inside of her, needed to be a part of him, needed to be with him and know that this time they both wanted this, _needed_ this. Scott set her down and kissed his way back up her, reaching for his pants, but Lili pulled his hands to her hips and his mouth to hers and opened her mouth to him as she'd opened her body and pushed his pants out of the way with her own hands. He kissed her and she tasted her own passion and stroked his hardness between her hands and the fires rose swiftly to a fury once more. And this time she felt an answering fire in him, and he snarled with it and grabbed her hands and raised them high above their heads and as he pressed her hands to the tree and rubbed his hardness sinuously against her wetness, this time she laughed, throaty, pleased, drawing his eyes to hers and fusing their gazes as the heat spiraled between them and he finally fused their bodies, thrusting deep and sure to the molten depths of her.

The fires roared, a wordless, endless sound of frenzied need and feverish pleasure, and she stared at him, needing her, loving her, and he drove into her again and again in a furious, twisting rhythm that drove them high--higher--higher still, until there was nowhere else to go but over the edge, nothing else to do but surrender to the firestorm. She _saw_ him reach for it and let go, falling with him as he hurled them headlong into a searing detonation of light and heat and crimson flames that burned loneliness and emptiness and all of the pain they'd known away.

She was his. He was a part of her. And as the fires finally ebbed and they leaned gasping and trembling into each other, Lili stared up into Scott's glittering crimson eyes, warmed all the way through with love and need and trust, and realized she'd never feel cold or alone again. And neither would he. Gently she pulled her hands from beneath his to cup his face.

"I love you, Scott," she finally told him.

He smiled, the first full, open smile she'd seen on his face since that night she'd woken up with him at her bedside a lifetime ago, and lowered his head to brush his lips tenderly over hers. "And I love you, Liliana Stanton."

It was time. "Let's go home, Cyclops. The X-Men need you now more than ever."

"As long as you're with me… _Wildfire._"

X3 Timeline

Fire's Promise begins a number of weeks after the end of X2: X-Men United, roughly simultaneously with the beginning of X3: The Last Stand.

Scenes One and Two happen the same night, Scene Three the following morning. Scene Three alludes to the opening Danger Room sequence in X3 and leads up to the scene in the movie where Logan tries to speak to Scott just before he leaves. Scene Four takes place the evening of that second day, and Scene Five continues into that night.

Scene Six takes the story to early evening the following day, the third of the story, and includes Lili's perspective of the moment that Phoenix _appears_ to kill Scott. Scene Eight jumps to the following morning, on the fourth day of the story, with Scenes Ten and Eleven continuing throughout that day. Scene Ten includes Lili's perspective of when Phoenix also appears to kill the Professor.

Scene Twelve happens the following morning, (day five), the same day of Xavier's memorial service at the school, Scene Thirteen that night. Scene Fourteen takes place the next day, the same day Logan finds Jean at Magneto's rebel mutant campsite and Pyro attacks the clinic in Manhattan. Scene Fifteen follows that same day into the early morning hours of the next, day six, which is the day of The Big Battle at the Worthington facilities on Alcatraz. Scenes Sixteen and Seventeen continue through the day and into the battle itself.

Scene Eighteen takes place two days later, on the eighth and final day of this story.

X3 Epilogue?

_This scene may or may not take place several days or weeks after the end of the Wildfire Trilogy. It depends entirely on the existence of an __X4__, and whether I humbly feel the need to write around that movie, too._

Everything had changed.

Scott leaned into the turn onto Graymalkin Lane, Lili sitting snugly behind him on the bike and leaning with him, and stared at the school as he drove the length of the street. They'd repaired the damage from Stryker's attack. Everything looked astonishingly normal. Completely, perfectly untouched. But he knew to the depths of his bones, _everything_ had changed.

This had been his home for years. He'd been happy. Comfortable. Confident of his place and what he was doing, and especially of his relationship with Jean. But now, he wasn't quite sure how he felt when he looked at the mansion. He understood, as he hadn't without his memory and a lifetime of discipline to guide him, but it still hurt a little that he'd been fighting for his sanity after Jean had sacrificed herself at the lake and _none _of them, not even the Professor, had taken the time to look past the obvious reasons for his behavior. They'd all been so impatient with him, for not being stronger, for not moving on. He'd felt so alone. He _had_ been alone in that forest, completely, when he'd needed them the most. He truly did understand the choices they'd made, but… It was damned difficult not to feel like they'd all abandoned him.

Lili's arms tightened round him, her hands warm on his chest, soothing him, her calm easing over him. The fires between them, especially when they were in close contact like that, left little unsaid, whether they spoke the words or not. He cherished that intimacy, especially as she was as open to him as he was to her, and promised himself once more that he would never take that--or anything else about his relationship with Lili--for granted. Yes, everything had changed. Including him.

One last turn, up the long, lushly landscaped length of the driveway, and Scott braked to a stop just outside the open garage and shut off the ignition, holding the bike steady for Lili to get down, then finally setting the kick stand and dismounting himself.

"Home," Lili sighed.

He pulled his helmet off, watched Lili pull off hers, then stood there with the thing in his hands as the birdsong they'd interrupted resumed and the wind whispered through the changing trees and traffic distantly hummed… and it finally dawned on him that maybe he wasn't as ready to go back as he'd thought. "It feels like a lifetime since I left this place."

"A lot's happened," she agreed.

"You're so calm."

"What's there to be upset about," she smiled, "when all that's left to do is walk into our home and see our friends?" She paused, her eyes going distant, and Scott tensed.

"What is it, Lili?"

She blinked at him. "Scott, I know you didn't want to make an entrance, but I think Marie might have told one or two people we were coming."

"How do you-- Oh," he frowned. She was reading body heat. "I suppose it's a little too late to contain this, then."

"Three, two, one," Lili said softly, watching the garage's inner door with twinkling eyes, and a second later five children burst screaming through the door and ran straight for her.

Lili slipped his bag over her head, letting it drop to the ground as she thrust her helmet at him and ran to meet them, and as the children swarmed her with hugs and warmth and pure, unqualified love, Scott took a deep breath, letting the warmth wash over him, too, and finally relaxed.

"_You're home_," the twins squealed.

"I heard you," Julian proudly announced.

"I knew you'd be back," Thomas grinned.

Petra rolled her eyes. "We all did, Thomas."

It was Petra who looked over at him then, her big, brown eyes widening. Scott hooked the helmets on the bike and braced himself, for fear, for shock, to explain, but all Petra did was smile even more broadly and launch herself at him.

"We missed you," she said, and Scott stood with her in his arms and raised his eyes to Lili's.

"I missed you, too," he replied, meaning it with his whole heart. "You guys are the best welcome home we could have asked for."

"So what class did you run out of this time?" Lili grinned at them, tucking a strand of Carrie's hair behind her ear.

"None, Lili--honest," Thomas shook his head, as the others nodded and Petra wriggled down. "We were all waiting."

"All?" Lili blinked at Thomas. "But--"

"I'm telling you guys," came an insistent voice from inside the mansion. "Julian said _they're home_."

Marie stepped into the garage, got one look at them, and thrust her bare arms into the air in triumph, shrieking louder than the children had as she bolted for Lili. Bobby, Kitty, and Peter were right behind her… and Scott's jaw dropped as he realized half the school was spilling out behind them, Storm leading the way.

She came straight for him, tears streaming down her beautiful face, and enveloped him in an embrace so fierce and desperate that that last sore spot on his heart healed in a sweet, aching rush. She would have helped him if she'd known. If she'd understood. They all would have.

Shaking, Storm pulled back to look at him, hard, for a long moment. And then she threw her arms around him again. "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again," she whispered thickly in his ear.

"I promise," he managed, holding her just as tightly.

"It's about time," a hard voice drawled, the words laced with impatience, the heavy, clinging scent of cigar smoke wafting to him, and just for a moment, deep within, Scott felt himself tense. But he breathed in the smoke and he turned to look over Storm's shoulder at Logan, and he saw it all in one startling moment. Logan was as eager as the kids to see him alive and welcome him home. But he was also more than a little aware of the way they'd left things, and wary because _he _had been the one to finally kill Phoenix. Or so he thought.

Storm finally let him go, and before the other friends and students pressing round him could take her place, Scott reached his hand to Logan.

"You did what you had to," he said, softly, in the middle of the raucous, gathering crowd. But he knew Logan had heard.

Eyes darkening, Logan winced as he shook Scott's hand. "I'm sorry, Scott. If there'd been any other way…"

"There wasn't. Jean needed you to do that for her, Logan. It was the only way she could gain control over Phoenix."

"What?" Logan and Storm chorused.

Marie barreled through them then, nearly knocking him over in her exuberance, and Scott laughed as he let her swing him around. "It's a long story," he sighed, tweaking Marie's hair and pushing her back towards Lili. "Why don't you give me and Lili a half hour or so with this crowd, and then the X-Men can all meet in the ready room."

"If the team leader wants a meeting," Logan shrugged, his eyes glinting, the cigar back between his teeth, "then we'll have a meeting."

"We have a lot to talk about," Storm nodded.

"And a lot to do," Scott added, "to keep this school going and the X-Men on top of what's happening out there."

"Talking business already?" Lili grinned, laughing as Storm swooped her into a huge, fervent hug.

Others reached for him, touching him and holding him and one by one, reassuring themselves and welcoming him and making him finally see that not _everything_ had changed. He was home. This was his family. This was where he belonged. The moment could only have been sweeter if Jean and the Professor had returned, too. But he still might see them again one day. He'd have to keep his eyes and ears and heart open to them, and listen and look for them. But in the meantime, he couldn't wait for them to continue his work--their work. Their legacy. Or to rebuild his life. That was a part of their legacy, too.

Scott reached for Lili, his hand sliding easily into hers as the love in their hearts rose up between them and blended seamlessly into one.

"Welcome home, Lili."

"We're home," she breathed, and stepped into his arms.


End file.
